


Studies of Playgrounds and Diversion

by Robertdoc



Category: Community (TV), Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robertdoc/pseuds/Robertdoc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff actually fails History 101 and needs one credit over winter break to avoid another semester at Greendale. The only opportunity is a month long-internship at a local government in Pawnee, Indiana - which Jeff takes before finding out Annie signed up too. AU set near end of Community S4 and the middle of Parks and Rec S5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crossover between Community and Parks and Rec – which is taking Community’s time slot of death this fall – and these two are somehow the final survivors of NBC’s last golden comedy era. Familiarity with both shows is necessary of course.
> 
> This is starting in mid December 2012, and presents an alternate end to Community S4 in which Jeff doesn’t get the History 101 credit he needs to graduate early. It’s also set in the middle of Parks S5, weeks after Leslie and Ben got engaged.
> 
> Since this is a crossover fic, it is buried at the crossover section of the Community and Parks and Rec pages at ff.net, unlikely to be seen at all, so that's why I'm trying to give it extra exposure here.

He marched to the Dean’s office without thinking. He couldn’t afford to think. The things he’d been thinking….well, they were too disturbing to keep thinking about. That’s why he was getting this settled now.

“Where is it?” Jeff asked Dean Pelton, before he could make even one Dean pun or ab grab.

“Where’s what? There’s only so many it’s I’m intimately familiar with,” the Dean excused. But Jeff wasn’t letting that go further.

“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’m going to assume you didn’t forge my grades so I’d fail History 101,” Jeff announced. “I’ll even assume that Cornwallis didn’t forge them either.”

The phrase “We both know he’s done it before,” rang in back of Jeff’s brain. But he ignored it – and ignored all the times he’d ignored it before.

“Wait, you failed?” the Dean announced. “You mean you’re not….oh my, so many conflicting emotions….”

“Dean!” Jeff slammed Pelton’s desk to snap him out of it.

“Well, that hardly helped my emotions, did it? Come on Jeffrey, use your head! Gotta start sometime, right?” Dean Pelton tried to joke, but instantly knew he was way off.

“I need one more credit to get out of here. And I’m not spending 15 weeks in another history class to get it,” Jeff laid down. “You must have one credit I can get during winter break. You’re gonna tell me how I get it, right now.”

With nerves and other conflicting emotions, Dean Pelton started going through his records. “You know, it’s called a winter break for a reason,” the Dean prepared Jeff. “There’s not gonna be any month-long classes. Not for a whole credit, anyway.”

“Then find something else that’s a credit’s worth. You have to have one of those,” Jeff demanded.

“I’m telling you, I don’t see anything,” the Dean stammered. “Maybe one thing, but….”

“Okay, let’s go with the one thing,” Jeff hooked himself on. “How does that get me out of here?”

“You wouldn’t like it. No one would, so….” the Dean tried to scoff.

“Let’s not talk about what I wouldn’t like right now,” Jeff said. “I would like to go anywhere other than Greendale this January. If there’s something that’ll make that happen, you’ll tell me and I’ll love it. Trust me.”

“You’d have to go to Indiana!” Dean Pelton cried out, which shut Jeff up.

“Okay. Figures you’d be right about something now,” Jeff deadpanned, which gave the Dean time to explain better.

“Look, I’ve been trying to hook Greendale up with other cities. Offer our full services to towns across America. Send our students out there to be interns,” the Dean finally explained better. “But the only place interested was this small town in Indiana. Well, it was mostly this one City Council woman, really.”

Jeff bit back any possible comments about the Dean and a woman and kept listening. “Anyway, she’s letting us send two students to intern at her city government for the break. One slot filled up right away, but there’s still one open. And it’s technically worth one credit, so….”

“One full credit? And it’ll go on my record before next semester? And I don’t have to come back after that?” Jeff double checked.

“Well, if you want to put it that way,” Dean Pelton shrugged. “But come on, Jeffrey, that’s not you! You’re not a small town guy, no matter what my farm dreams tell me! If you couldn’t pass a History class in here, you’re not gonna work at a small town government in Indiana for a month? Right?”

Unfortunately, this was a rare Dean Pelton sentence that made complete sense. Jeff thought about it a little more – then when he thought even deeper, he made himself stop thinking again. There was only one thought and goal that truly mattered right now. No matter what.

“I’ll let you know in a month, and then I’m gone. Sign me up now, make it legally binding, just do it. Before I come to my senses,” Jeff pressed.

“Hold on, this is happening so fast. I know there’s at least one thing I forgot to tell you,” the Dean tried to remember.

“And while you’re thinking about that, my senses are coming back. Stop those bastards before they can breathe, now,” Jeff made final.

Dean Pelton got himself under control to find the necessary paperwork, then got Jeff to sign it. When the formalities were finished, Jeff was about to give a curt thank you, and head off to lament his lot in life in private. At least until Annie barged in.

“Jeff? We gave you some time to cool off. That gets us a few minutes of your time now, okay?” Annie offered, then she noticed Jeff, the Dean and their paperwork. “Damn it, I told Troy this would happen!”

“Oh, that’s it!” Dean Pelton suddenly remembered. “Annie! Turns out you’ll have a partner in Indiana after all! Jeffrey took the last spot!”

Both Jeff and Annie were left speechless, for multiple reasons. Annie broke the silence, as quietly as possible, by mumbling, “I didn’t tell him this….”

“Hold on. You’re going to Indiana?” Jeff let sunk in. “You were leaving for the holidays, and you didn’t tell us?”

“And how were you gonna tell us?” Annie shot back, but quickly backed off. “I mean….I just signed up a few days ago. I was gonna tell everyone after our grades came in….then yours came in and….”

“And now you’re both leaving for Pawnee, Indiana together, for a whole month. Great, there’s those conflicted emotions again,” the Dean huffed. “Unless any of you want to change your mind.”

Jeff had more than enough reasons to change his mind before Annie charged in. Now that he remembered them all and had some new ones, he honestly didn’t know what he’d say.

In contrast, Annie had no reasons to reconsider before a few minutes ago. Now she was at a loss for words too. Yet Jeff found his first.

“No, I don’t,” he answered. “If this gets me out of Greendale next month, I don’t care. I’m going.”

Jeff knew he would get lectured by Annie for saying that stuff, and for all the various things it implied. But after a few seconds, he noticed the lecture wasn’t coming. In fact, she wasn’t even giving him her disapproving Jeff stare. She looked too….worried, somehow.

In a few ways, that was a big ironic laugh. Not that it mattered.

“You know what, I don’t care, either,” Annie said. Although it could have been a swipe at Jeff, his lack of caring and his need to leave everything behind now, it didn’t sound that way. “If you want to go with me, you can go,” she told him, despite sounding off in the middle.

However, she and Jeff both stayed steady when they told the group afterwards. They had a field day questioning Jeff, mocking and lecturing him, and feeling hurt that he still wanted to leave early. But aside from Troy and Abed asking about house rules while Annie was gone – and their disappointment that they still couldn’t film in her room – her leaving didn’t get as much attention.

It made sense, since Jeff was the bigger story. It probably made more sense to them that Annie would go, just for one more futile credit to make the valedictorian race look closer.

She’d let them think that – she’d certainly made it easy for them already. But hopefully, she wouldn’t make it that easy for them anymore after she came back.

Unless Jeff ruined that too.

Of course, Shirley had to bring it up out loud when the rest of the group left the study room. “Annie? Are you sure you’re okay with….your traveling buddy?” Shirley asked her.

“Of course I am,” Annie answered too quickly. “A whole month with Jeff, in a nice small town, for a nice credit? How couldn’t I be okay?” she barely convinced her.

“Annie, you drooled over the Dean when he acted like Jeff. In front of me,” Shirley reminded. “You at least admitted you had a problem. That’s the only reason I didn’t blab to Jeff and make him stop your…..whatever you got once and for all. If you still can’t do more than admit your problem….then maybe this isn’t the healthiest thing for you.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Annie erupted. “You don’t know everything yet, you know!”

It didn’t take long to realize that was the opposite of what Annie wanted to do. Luckily, she spoke up in time before Shirley could speak back. “I’m sorry, Shirley. I didn’t want to mean that.”

“Well, I guess that sounds half-good,” Shirley conceded.

“I am sorry,” Annie repeated. “And you’re right. I didn’t want to think about him on this trip. I didn’t want to think about a lot of things….” she hinted. “But it doesn’t make a difference now, does it?”

“I can still blab to Jeff. After I say some other things so he’ll behave himself,” Shirley offered. “Trust me, he won’t think about taking his shirt off in that office when I’m done. You can apologize to the other ladies there later.”

“You don’t need to do that. But thanks,” Annie said, keeping her fluster under control. “I still need to do this. Now more than ever. I’ve….I’ve just got to put this whole semester behind me. This is the best way to do it, Jeff or not.”

“That’ll get you to be No. 1 again? Good luck,” Shirley tried to say playfully, yet with some warning attached.

“I hope it’ll make me a lot of things again,” Annie sighed. Before Shirley could question that further, Annie added, “You just enjoy being on top this Christmas, okay? It’s a really good feeling. You earned every bit of it, and I hope your family is really proud of you.”

“Yeah, both of them are,” Shirley assured, then hugged Annie to show she’d miss her – and even refrained from offering to send a pastor to Pawnee. Annie would have tuned it out anyway, since she was too proud of showing some growth again before she left Greendale.

It sustained her until about two days later, when she and Jeff bid the group goodbye at the airport. After that, it was just her and Jeff together – as it would be for the next month – as they waited for their plane to board. There were no direct flights to Pawnee, so they’d have to fly to the neighboring town of Eagleton and get driven to their new home.

But first, they had to wait around at the gate, which they did in complete silence. Each of them both wanted to talk and really didn’t want to talk, in equal measure – which made them relieved and sad.

Annie tried to get her mind off it first. To help her, she went into her purse and got something to reminded her why she was really here.

“Getting a head start on reading, eh?” Jeff asked before he could stop himself. “There’s no letter grade in this thing, you know. You think you’re training to get a credit plus?”

Jeff knew that was funny, but he knew he could have saved it after the ice thawed – or after he figured out why there was ice between them. Or why that was on his mind when he had other things to finally finish.

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?” Annie said, but it wasn’t in a sarcastic or angry way. It was in a sad resignation kind of way. As Jeff let it sink in and began to regret it, Annie decided to admit, “I’m not doing this because of a credit, Jeff. I’m doing this because of her.”

Jeff actually looked at what Annie was reading – a newspaper clipping with a picture of a short blonde woman taking an oath in some office. He vaguely connected the dots and guessed, “That’s the councilwoman, right?”

“Her name is Leslie Knope,” Annie educated him. “I knew about her long before this. When we were expelled, I read all kinds of news to keep my mind busy. Something had to, anyway. One day, I read about her.”

“I guess I should ask what’s newsworthy about her now,” Jeff figured.

“Everything,” Annie started to get lost in. “She was in a secret romance with her boss before she ran for City Council. But they broke up, then they got back together, and he gave up his job for her. Then when she lost her campaign managers, he and all her friends helped her take on this….dreamy dim bulb, and she won! It was like….”

“The Annie Edison special. Storybook romance and overachieving rolled into one,” Jeff guessed.

“It’s not just that,” Annie corrected. “She’s an overachiever, but she’s actually made a real difference. She works all the time, and she still has the love of her life. She’s pushy, but people would still go to the ends of the earth for her. And she had to choose between having love and a career….then she decided to have both. And she got both. And she figured out how to do it the right way.”

Before Annie got any deeper into that, she skipped to the next part. “So when I found out the Dean was sending interns to Pawnee, I begged him to let me go. And I begged to work for her. And I got it. So I’m doing this to work for….a real inspiration. If only for a little while.” She paused and dared to admit, “I really need to be inspired like that now.”

“Because you’re not No. 1 anymore?” Jeff guessed half-wrong – whether it was a relief or not.

“Because of a lot of things,” Annie hoped to close it then and there. Somehow, it worked.

“So I’m working for another you, then?” Jeff brought the attention back to himself.

“I’m not there yet. Besides, you’re not working for her, remember?” Annie said. “You were assigned to the Assistant City Manager. And his dumb rules kept Leslie and Ben apart, so you can’t slack off with him. It’d serve him right, but you can’t do it. And you can’t lean on me to carry you. Hell, it even stopped working in Greendale.”

Annie didn’t mean to hit that nerve. Jeff was nowhere near ready to joke about that yet, and wouldn’t be until he finally left Greendale. There was a time she could have needled and joked with him about anything – but that was further away from coming back now.

Yet while Jeff looked annoyed, he didn’t follow with snide remarks of his own. Instead, he sighed and admitted, “Point taken. But if I’m gonna survive this, there’s no point living in the past now. Especially the recent past.”

He sure knew how to hit close to home without realizing it. “You’re right, Jeff,” Annie admitted out loud.

“I guess bothering you won’t help either,” Jeff went on. “This’ll clearly be a lot more fun for you than me. But since someone should have fun here, I won’t make it harder for you. If you want to live it up with your new role model, I won’t get in your way.”

“Well, it’s not like you should stay totally out of my way,” Annie offered, but regretted it a little. She was supposed to resist the urge to open doors with him, before she got worse. Then again, this was the first time he was opening doors since the convention.

“Probably not. I still need one friend there to keep me sane,” Jeff confessed. “But I promise I’ll try not to drive you insane. I can’t say I’ll succeed, but I’ll try. You know how big that is for me.”

“You’re right, I do,” Annie credited him, while trying not to revel in him calling her a friend. Even getting that much again was comforting – but she wouldn’t let it be that comforting.

Nevertheless, she added, “But if you need real help, you know I’ll do what I can for you. Without carrying you or neglecting my duties for Miss Knope, I mean,” she set boundaries.

“It’s a deal, Miss Edison,” Jeff teased. While Annie tried not to get carried away, Jeff felt more carried away in a good way than he had in days. Maybe weeks, if he thought carefully.

But he got bailed out when they announced the flight to Eagleton was boarding. When their row was called, Jeff got up and said, “Well, there goes my last chance for a stay of execution. Might as well head for the guillotine.”

As Annie finished rolling her eyes, it made a familiar word leave Jeff’s mouth as he offered his hand. “Milady?”

It’d been so long since Jeff called her his lady. It’d been a while since Annie felt like any kind of lady, really. Yet she couldn’t help but feel this wouldn’t help her become a real lady again. So Annie took his hand and got up without showing any reaction.

Yet when she almost caught a flicker of concern on Jeff’s face, she instinctively said “Milord” at last. She wondered if she should have meant to do that. But when she saw that long dormant, yet familiar, flicker of relief and mirth in Jeff’s eyes, it didn’t matter as much.

But both of them only indulged in it for a few moments, for their various reasons. At the least, the subsequent silence wasn’t awkward as they got to the plane.

And when they took off, they could focus on their odyssey again – and their vastly different expectations.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie are welcomed to Pawnee by Leslie Knope and company

When Jeff and Annie touched down in Eagleton, they expected to land in a quaint small town like Pawnee. Yet Jeff, for one, was incredibly happy to be wrong for once.

The state of the art airport lobby, the lavish service, and the easy access to so many fine suits and hair products, made Jeff fall in love instantly for the first time. He didn’t even notice that Annie wasn’t so easily won over.

“Are you absolutely sure Pawnee isn’t Spanish for Eagleton?” Jeff asked, almost praying Annie would say no.

“I’m sure, Jeff,” Annie deadpanned. “We’re not staying here. At least we won’t if we find our drivers. They told us Miss Knope’s friends would be here.”

Jeff didn’t set out to look for them. However, when he looked at the entrance to the airport spa store, he found what he wasn’t looking for.

A scrawny Indian-looking man in….a halfway impressive suit, and a less matronly looking Shirley were in view. The woman was carrying a big sign – then when she noticed Jeff looking at her, she looked predictably impressed before taking out a small picture.

She then seemed to groan and snap at the Indian man for a moment, then she held up the sign to reveal that it said “Jannie.” Annie finally noticed and jumped up, guessing, “That must be them!”

Jeff followed her over, powered more by confusion than excitement. When they reached their supposed greeters, the woman asked with no nonsense, “You’re Winger and Edison, right?”

“Hey, I won the vote fair and square, we’re calling them Jannie!” the scrawny, semi-stylish man said. “I got my spa on a little long while we waited, but that doesn’t cancel my vote! Did Knope 2012 give you any love for democracy, Donna?”

Before Donna, Jeff or Annie could answer, or slack their jaws, the man took a closer look at the new arrivals. “No, I take it back, I got much better names now!” Pointing at Jeff, he argued, “You’re definitely a giant J-shot. And you got a real J in your name, so it’s bigger and better!” Then when he saw Annie, he declared, “And you sure as hell look like Rack-aty Annie.”

“Excuse me?” both Jeff and Annie said at once. But Donna laid down the law better by slapping his shoulder – and making him whine pretty good.

“Ow, okay okay, sorry! Leslie was gonna hog all the Ann-Annie stuff, I just wanted to be original!” the man winced.

“Ignore Tom. You’ll make it out of Pawnee without stabbing him that way,” Donna warned.

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Annie assured. After sharing a little look with Jeff – for that and for their little duet – she asked Donna, “So, is Miss Knope here?”

Annie wasn’t trying to be funny – which made her more confused when Tom and Donna busted out laughing. It literally took a half-minute before Tom could say, “Wait, you really don’t know why that’s so funny?” – then laughed himself silly even more.

“I hope the joke’s not on this place, it’s awesome,” Jeff chimed in, which made Tom and Donna stop laughing right away.

“Okay, I take it back. You’ll really make it out of Pawnee if you never say that to Leslie. I’m not kidding,” Donna said. “If you’re gonna do that, you might as well mess up my Benz on the drive outta here. At least then I’d mercy kill you first. Depending.”

“Don’t worry, none of us want to die. So we’re going to let you take us to Pawnee in peace. Right, Jeff?” Annie advised.

“Fine. Two hours in the spa store and I’ll be good,” Jeff bargained, but Annie and Tom both made him shut up and go, despite Jeff’s distinct height advantage on both.

Eventually, they got out of the airport, overcame the blistering sunlight and lack of clouds, and got into Donna’s Benz. “All right, just so you know. You scratch your nails on my Benz, leave crumbs in it, adjust the seats wrong, leave the windows scuffed up, or cough on it wrong, the killing won’t be merciful anymore.”

Instead of being scared, Annie couldn’t help but smirk at Jeff, since she’d heard worse when people were in his Lexus. Knowing that, Jeff ordered, “Not a word,” but she kept smiling as the Benz drove away.

Jeff started smiling again when they drove through the rest of Eagleton. Yet the setting, atmosphere and even the weather changed the minute they drove into Pawnee, Indiana. At that point, Jeff went blank while Annie was the one to ooh and aw at the sights, and laugh at all the pun-filled store names.

Finally, they were taken to Pawnee City Hall as planned. With Tom and Donna’s jobs done, Jeff and Annie let themselves in, despite not knowing what to do or where to go next.

Annie figured/hoped that Leslie would greet them soon enough, so they waited in place. Jeff tried to distract himself by looking around – but one look at the mural on the wall ruined that plan, and his appetite.

However, his stomach felt a little better when he saw an attractive brunette coming towards them. He gave his most discreet nod of approval, so the other attractive brunette wouldn’t assume anything. But Annie was just focused on the woman, and on trying to hide her disappointment that it wasn’t Leslie.

“Jeff Winger? Annie Edison?” the woman asked. “I’m Ann Perkins. Welcome to Pawnee.”

“We’ve had…..some welcome already, thanks,” Jeff noted.

Annie glared at him and shook Ann’s hand, then realized, “Wait, your name is….”

“Yeah, I know,” Ann jumped ahead. “Leslie figured it out a half second quicker. I even timed it. But I’m guessing you’re not the one who’ll keep talking about it all month.”

“I’ll try,” Annie promised. “So, is Miss Knope coming here?”

“No, she’s in a meeting,” Ann deflated Annie. “But I’m gonna take you to your office, then we’ll get Mr. Winger set up.”

“Feel free to take your time,” Jeff said, yet Annie was too excited to listen to him.

It took all of Jeff’s might to keep staring straight ahead during the walk. He barely avoided looking at the murals, a loud guy with a poorly tailored scruff, a creepy looking young girl next to him – and what he could have sworn were cameras following then. But that was way too horrifying to consider.

Yet Jeff made it through the walk with his sanity, and Annie made it through without combusting, as Ann had them stop in front of a closed door. She stepped back and gave Annie room to go over and open it.

However, instead of seeing a regular office, Annie saw nothing but balloons inside.

“Surprise!”

Annie and even Jeff stood back as they saw….something emerge from the mass of balloons. Eventually, they could make out a head with blonde hair, and then a body with a blue blazer on it. When the rest of the tiny figure – albeit one just as tall as Annie – emerged, it finally became clearer. If not saner.

“It’s you….” Annie addressed Leslie Knope at last.

“See, and you said Tom and Donna would spoil this early!” Leslie addressed Ann. “We’ll still use April and Ron next time, okay?” She then faced Annie and greeted, “So how do you like your new office, new Ann?”

Before Leslie got an answer – as if Annie could give one yet – she laughed and continued, “Just kidding this time. Hello, Annie Edison. I’m so happy to welcome you to Pawnee.”

“Hi,” Annie got out, then sounded a little steadier when she added, “It’s….such an honor to meet you, Miss Knope.”

“I wouldn’t know, I’m just Leslie,” Leslie corrected. Annie just answered by shaking her hand – until she saw what was on it.

“Oh my God, I am wrong. It’s Mrs….” Annie gasped as she saw Leslie’s engagement ring. “You and Ben – I mean Mr. Wyatt – I mean….wow!” Despite only knowing each other for a minute, Annie and Leslie easily let out a simultaneous squeal. When Annie could use her words again, she eagerly asked, “Is he hiding in there too?”

“Well, I sure feel hidden right now,” Jeff spoke up to remind them that he was still here.

“Oh, right!” Annie realized, now remembering she wasn’t alone. “This is my friend from Greendale, Jeff Winger,” she introduced to Leslie.

“Mrs. Knope,” Jeff teased, putting on the charm as he shook Leslie’s tiny hand.

“Wow, you’re a tall one. Did you explode out of the Rockies or something?” Leslie joked, although she seemed pretty immune to the Winger smirk and voice. Kind of odd, even for an engaged woman. “What, did Tom call you Giant J-Shot or something?”

“Sadly, it wasn’t something,” Jeff said.

“Oh,” Leslie answered, briefly smiling that she got it right. But then she asked, “Do I want to know what he called Annie?”

“I wasn’t there, but I dated him, so….hell no’s my best guess,” Ann answered.

“What? You and….” Jeff couldn’t believe. Somehow, that made things too surreal for him. “Where am I? If I’m really in an awesome Eagleton spa, don’t wake me up yet!”

“Jeff!” Annie warned, but it was too late. Jeff remembered Donna’s warning then, but it didn’t save him from a terrifying glare from Leslie. Hell, it was even more terrifying than Annie’s glares.

What was it with small women terrifying Jeff? At least this one only made him fear physical pain.

“Leslie Knope! Ann Perkins! Two incredibly striking strangers!” they all heard as the tension broke.

Jeff was relieved to look away from Leslie – at least until he saw the incredibly peppy, and kind of sort of incredibly fit man coming towards them.

What’s more, the man noticed Jeff, gasped, and then gave him a clap on the back that actually knocked Jeff off balance. “You’re Jeff Winger, the new intern from the fabulous Greendale Community College! What a coincidence! I’m Chris Traeger, your temporary boss!”

This. This was the Assistant City Manager? The universe had to be tired of destroying Jeff by now, right? Even it wouldn’t go this far!

“Good, he’s your problem, then,” Leslie spoke up. “I promise I’ll get you a better one next time, okay?”

“He literally looks like the best one in this continent. I don’t envy your promise keeping on this one,” Chris said. Well, maybe some of that didn’t sound so bad.

But when Chris took a look at Annie, he exclaimed, “I take it back. It seems you found the best one in this hemisphere after all.” He pointed his fingers at her and continued, “You’re….Annie Edison, right? That sounds almost like Ann Perkins!”

“I know, right? Two beautiful Ann wombats in one building. I don’t know how we’re not burning up right now!” Leslie declared, while Jeff and Ann shared a deadpan look – and Jeff nearly looked at those cameras he really didn’t want to see.

“Well, anyway, it’s a pleasure, Mr. Traeger,” Annie stated, looking far less won over than Jeff would have expected, all things considered. Not that it was a bad thing. Or anything at all.

“It is the pleasure of my life, Annie Edison,” Chris sickeningly declared, although Annie still wasn’t swooning. Before Jeff could feel nothing from it, Chris sadly turned his attention back to him. “But the joy of showing you your desk and giving you your first six-hour schedule may just top it! Let’s go find out!”

“Well, you don’t have to if you’re too busy,” Jeff tried vainly to get out of.

“Nonsense! I don’t run my 12 4 ½ minute miles for another hour, we’ve got lots of time! Follow your boss to your new work home, Jeff Winger!” Chris cheered, unable to notice Jeff’s squirms.

Jeff looked to Annie for help, but she could only shrug. She tried to look sympathetic but resigned, because she was – and part of her did want them both gone so she could have her time with Leslie. Eventually, Jeff sighed and turned around to go.

“Meh,” he heard a second later from Leslie. Jeff just knew whenever ladies were checking out his ass – but he never heard that as a reaction.

“Meh?” he turned his head. “Are you kidding?!” When it was clear Leslie wasn’t, Jeff looked at a real loss. “I repeat, where am I?” No one would answer him, so he had no choice but to keep walking away.

“Okay, that’s over,” Leslie announced, then instantly brightened up again. “Let’s go show you off to the others!” she offered to Annie.

“Really? Do we have time for that?” Annie checked, wanting to show she was professional. “You’re sure I shouldn’t get to work? Or at least clear out my office?”

“Oh, that’s what the 1 pm Balloon Dance Party is for. Right Annie?” Leslie actually asked Ann instead. “Whoops, sorry!”

“Got that out of your system?” Ann checked.

“For today, Ann. For today,” Leslie said seriously, then lit back up and got the Ann’s to follow her.

She led them to the offices of Parks and Recreation, where Tom and Donna were already back in. Annie also saw a goofy looking guy with a poor man’s Jeff Winger scruff, near the desk of a girl with a….blood curdling stare. That was the least terrifying way to put it.

Annie looked away to see an older man with a smile sitting nearby – then looked away even faster towards a nearby office. Inside, a man with a mustache seemed to be….whittling something? This was a government office, right?

“Everyone! Some of you already met my new intern. The rest of you, say hello to America’s future, Miss Annie Edison,” Leslie declared.

“We meet again….Ann 2.0. That’s too lame to get me in trouble, right?” Tom checked, as Donna and Leslie nodded their approval.

“Whoh, you’re America’s future?” the goofy guy spoke up. “I told you America would get a sex change in the future, April!” he announced to the icy girl next to him.

“Fine, it’ll be a tranny robot fish in the next century, then,” the girl said as blankly as possible.

“Hello, Annie. It’s a real pleasure to meet you,” the old guy started. “Any intern of Leslie’s is a friend of –“

“And we’re good, Jerry, thanks!” Leslie brushed aside and led Annie away, which slightly relieved her for some reason. But she paid for it when Leslie brought her to April’s desk next. “Now this….this is something right here. Take a good, long look at this, Annie.”

“Do we have to?” April groaned, but Leslie wasn’t deterred.

“She was my last intern, but just look at her now,” Leslie gestured to April with pride. “You play your cards right, Annie, and this’ll be your glorious future.”

Annie already had someone to model herself after in here – someone who clearly smiled a lot more than April. But before Annie could change the subject, Leslie changed it first. “Oh my God, yes! Annie, where are you staying at?”

“Didn’t you and the Dean set me and Jeff up in motel rooms?” Annie wondered.

“Oh, that boney assed snob can have those! I’ve got something much better for you!” Leslie announced, then asked the goofy man, “Andy, you and April need a new roommate after I took Ben from you. Why not put Annie up for a month? It might keep you from paying your own bills a while longer.”

“Wow, cool! We get that and stories about tranny America too? Can we, April, can we?” Andy pleaded, in a way that gave Annie some serious déjà vu about home – or more specifically, her apartment.

“We already have a pet at home. If she loses a leg too, then we can talk,” April stated.

“You have a pet?” Annie started to smile. She never lived with a pet before, so that made this a much better idea – even if April looked more grossed out the more Annie smiled.

But if this chilling girl had enough humanity to care for a pet, maybe she was blank but sweet deep down like Abed after all. And Andy already had the Troy resemblance down pat – personality wise, anyway.

Plus being next door to Jeff in a motel was….never the most 100% ideal setup. Or so Annie really needed to believe. Still, this would make it much easier.

“Well, if it’s okay with most of you…..sure, I’d love to,” Annie smiled. Leslie and Andy fist pumped, and since April was outvoted, she rolled her eyes and gave a “Whatever” stare in defeat. Leaving that aside, now Annie was starting to feel right at home.

Her joy was then interrupted, once she saw the whittling man with a mustache finally leave his office.

“So you’re Leslie’s new government drone,” the man said, even more deadpan than April. “Then I hope you enjoy these last few, precious moments of being an actual human being. Goodbye.” And with that, he returned to his office without even remotely looking back.

“Wow, Ron wished you’d enjoy something,” Ann noted. “That’s more than most of us got in four years. You made a real impression on him.”

“I knew she would,” Leslie said proudly. “Screw it, I’m putting in five extra minutes of balloon dancing. Dexhart can wait, he’s used to being stood up by women. Not as much as he should, but still.”

“Yeah, I love standing too!” Andy cheered, and April gave another blank stare – only this time at something that Annie could have sworn was a camera in the distance. But that wasn’t worth acknowledging right now.

This place seemed pretty….unstructured. But if Leslie Knope, who seemed to be a bigger workaholic than Annie, could work around it, she could too. She already got two new roommates, an office and a balloon party out of it, anyway.

Maybe this was a rare case where something Annie really wanted delivered for her.

Even if she knew that Jeff wouldn’t be so won over.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Annie busy with Leslie, Jeff struggles to put up with Pawnee and find a normal new friend.

Jeff tried to stand it. He really did. But his new boss made it downright impossible.

Whether it was the actual office work, his inability to get a good phone signal, or listening to so much chipperness, it was unbearable. And even when he got out of the office, he had to watch Chris on his runs and workouts that Jeff…..could have totally pulled off if he had nothing better to do.

Even finding out that Chris had a psychiatrist didn’t make him feel better. He was even mastering this Dr. Richard Nygar’s classes as well. Even when he was imperfect, he was still being perfect. At least by the perfection standards of insane people.

Hell, he was Goddamn Rich with a….debatable Jeff Winger-esq body. Only the devil could come up with a combo like that – so at least Jeff proved God was real.

There was indeed a Hell. And to think Greendale wasn’t it.

The only good thing was that those cameras were gone. Apparently he and Annie were staying in that mid-December to mid-January time period where they were on vacation, and they happened to arrive on their last day. So at least when Jeff wound up wiping that smile and those teeth off Chris’s face, there’d be no video evidence.

On the off chance that wouldn’t be a good thing, Jeff needed to be around real human beings before he exploded. Or he could just transfer to a community college in Eagleton to get that last credit. Even their colleges were probably heavenly and filled with spas.

He should have gone to Eagleton already, but it wasn’t worth Leslie finding out. The last thing Jeff needed was to have Annie’s boss and role model turning her against him. If only so Greendale would stay slightly more tolerable when they got back.

Maybe that made it a better idea to spend time with Annie now. Just in case.

Since Annie decided not to live in the same motel as him – which was perfectly understandable – and since she’d been working non-stop with Leslie, Jeff hadn’t had much time to see her. Perhaps if he saw her and vented to her, she could talk him out of injecting Chris with carbs for completely legitimate, not jealous reasons.

It’d been a while since he’d trusted her to do that. If he remembered correctly, she had a gift for it. Getting him to avoid his worst impulses. Britta did that when it came to his dad – somehow - but it wasn’t the same.

Annie wasn’t Britta. That was clearer when Jeff got to her balloon free office, and saw Annie pouring over documents while talking on the phone.

“I know how you file those. I’m just saying if we do it my way, you can get to them easier. Isn’t it my job to make things easier for you?” Annie asked. But the answer didn’t seem to be what he wanted, so she replied, “You know that’s not what I meant. I’m just telling you, I really think that’s how it needs to be organized. I have experience with this stuff, you know.”

However, Annie then gasped and got out, “Okay, maybe I never served in government before! But I almost won a class president election! And I almost got to meet the Vice President, so – “ But she didn’t get to finish, as the other line clearly went dead.

“Trouble in paradise?” Jeff finally got Annie’s attention.

“I just wanted to change one thing in her filing system, and she said no!” Annie vented. “Then I suggest a few more logical things, and she snaps at me! Like she’s the only one who knows how to organize! From what Ben told me about her old place, that’s a laugh! I swear she’s so….so….”

“Stubborn? Anal? An organizing savant? Needs to be right all the time? Won’t admit she’s wrong? Will freak out when someone tries to make her? If she’s your idol, shouldn’t you have known that going in?” Jeff theorized.

“Well, not like that!” Annie sighed. “You know what? I’ll just have to show her I know what I’m talking about. Excuse me, Jeff,” she asked before getting her files and marching past him.

If Leslie really was an older, more advanced Annie, this was not going to end well. In fact, Jeff actually considered Chris’s office a safe haven, while he waited for the two titans to burn this building to the ground.

In fact, when Leslie’s friends came over to warn Chris, Jeff stayed behind by doing busy work. Even that was better than getting his hair gouged out in the Annie-Leslie crossfire.

Somehow, Jeff sneaked out of the building before it collapsed, and hid out in his lame motel room for the night. Yet once again, Annie didn’t drop by, call him or ask for advice. This time, Jeff wondered if it might have been because Leslie cut her hands off.

But City Hall was still standing the next morning – and thanks to something called a “Waffle Summit” last night, it seemed Annie and Leslie had made peace. Apparently their excessive, type A means of organizing had room for compromise after all.

Jeff couldn’t even begin to wonder how Leslie did it in a day, when all of Greendale had failed for 3 ½ years. Nevertheless, it was like they never fought after that, as Annie was more closely glued to Leslie’s side than ever.

Needless to say, Jeff could hardly turn to Annie for sanity now. There had to be someone else remotely normal here.

“What up, Jazzy Jeff?” Jeff heard, snapping him out of his trance in the hallways one day. Soon enough, he saw Tom – hardly the most normal person, as his first impression proved. But at least he was one of the few men here to know the value of suits and facial care.

And if he somehow got Pawnee’s Ann to forget better judgment and date him, maybe he had something to offer.

“I hear you’re a man who knows how the club scene works,” Jeff recounted.

“Oh, took you long enough. Yeah, I’ve been known to use some baller moves from time to time,” Tom bragged.

“If that means you know cooler places than my motel room, I’ll take it,” Jeff admitted.

“Great! We’ll stop by my place first and get you styled up!” Tom cheered. “You’re too big for Rent-a-Swag stuff, but maybe some of my old prank duds can fit you. We’ll turn this Colorado 6 into a Pawnee 7 in no time!”

Jeff really was desperate for contact – and a night life – if he was letting Tom get away with that. But a guy who loved suits, club life and looking stylish was right up his alley. Granted, he deluded himself into thinking he was better at it than Jeff – but that’d make Jeff more of a breath of fresh air to these people.

Using deluded people to look better and feel superior – now Jeff felt right at home. At least part of him did. But without anyone available to tell him different, what did it matter?

However, even his superiority over Tom Haverford didn’t last long when Jeff entered his home.

It was like he had every Skymall item known to man in this one place. For good measure, he seemed to have every hair care product, shampoo, moisturizer, baby oil, blanket and pillow as well. “You have the money for this?” Jeff asked incredulously.

“Nope, but no one’s complained so far. And the Beyonce soundtrack on my answering machine drowns out the credit card companies every time,” Tom boasted. “Come on, I got some stylish giant prank suits that won’t get a laugh on you!”

Jeff sure didn’t feel like laughing now. He spent beyond his budget for his apartment and up to date products too – but not like this. This was girl heaven, without the girls. 

Hell, this was Chris all over again, except now Jeff was being…..challenged in his metrosexual trendiness and love of pointless stuff. That was even worse, especially from a guy like this. What could be –

Jeff stopped that train of thought when he heard a knock on the door. Grateful for the distraction, he opened up – only to find a white guy with a big afro-like hairstyle and body language that ‘passed’ for swagger.

“What up, J?” the rapidly annoying man sang. “Jean-Ralphio here. You, me, the double J’s gonna find some double D’s! Maybe Tom’ll let us have leftover double T’s when he’s done. And our sloppy thirds will welcome you to Pawnee in style, J-man!”

Jeff only needed to stare in disbelief for two seconds, before stating, “Nope” and heading right back to his rented car.

Perhaps he’d make up an excuse for Tom later, if he was that bored and annoyed at the office tomorrow. But for now, he was both relieved and aggravated to spend the rest of the night in a drab motel room.

That only got him through most of the next day. By the day after that – Christmas Eve Eve – Jeff was back to feeling less than fortunate. With Chris way into the Christmas spirit, and Annie too wrapped up in Leslie’s Christmas spirit and extravagant gift giving, Jeff needed a tether to sanity again.

Pawnee Ann looked promising and sane, but she was either unavailable because of nurse duties, or tagging along with Leslie. It seemed Leslie had a habit of hogging up attractive brunettes with A names. 

Annie’s roommates were out for annoying and soul-devouring reasons. And Donna….well, Jeff didn’t need to feel inferior with cars and sex too.

Jerry was a last resort if he wanted his head to collapse. At this point, that might not be the worst thing.

With no options and no escape, Jeff wandered the halls in exaggerated, childish woe. Maybe it was for the best that Annie was too busy in that moment. “Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for some scotch!” he was reduced to pleading to no one.

“Scotch, you say?” Jeff heard. But this latest voice to surprise him was more manly and detached. Jeff then saw it belonged to a burly mustached man. Well, it sure could have been worse.

“Yeah, the strongest possible stuff,” Jeff dared to reach out. “Anything to help me deal with these people. There’s only so much you can take before you want to be alone with booze.”

The man gave him a blank, impossible to read stare, which still seemed warmer than one of April’s stares. Finally, he grumbled like a bear and said, “Having a girlfriend really has made me too soft. But if you want to take advantage of my insanity….I may have the liquid courage you need.”

And that’s how Jeff actually got to drink with Ron Swanson in his office. 

If that wasn’t historic enough, he wasn’t kicked out after two minutes. In fact, the more they talked and the more scotch they drank, the more Jeff felt at home. He even stopped feeling the urge to throw up from Ron’s brand.

“It’s what I’ve always said!” Jeff called out. “Why can’t we just leave everyone alone? Let me live my life the way I wanna, why don’t ya? Don’t you and your big noses got better things to do than nag me?”

“Very few people here see that point. You must live in a more evolved town,” Ron complimented.

“Oh God, I wish. But even that’s a paradise compared to this,” Jeff declared. “No hip bars, the smiling, the puns. I get enough of that at school. But this whole town is one big Greendale college. What the hell, man?”

“If your college authority gets way too involved in people’s lives and won’t back off, I sympathize completely,” Ron offered.

“God, you have no idea how much it won’t back off,” Jeff shuddered. “But you….it seems like you get it. I thought there’s no one left who’d get it. Annie sure doesn’t get it.”

“It’s sad that Leslie’s brainwashing her to tax and spend the next generation to death. But it’s not my place to interfere or care,” Ron concluded.

“Well, you gotta care about her a little. Who couldn’t?” Jeff let get away from him. But fortunately for him, Ron didn’t care enough to inquire further. Relieved he could change the subject with his new friend, Jeff went on with, “Now all I need is to find real carb-free food instead of Chris’s crap, and I might be set here.”

At that, Ron stopped drinking and his mustache almost seemed to twitch. “You eat food without carbs?” he questioned ominously.

“Well, yeah. How else am I supposed to keep this up?” Jeff gestured to his body, thankful he could show it off without Chris around. “I love the occasional steak and bacon, of course, but you can’t have it for every meal. My abs deserve some healthy, low fat food.”

Ron had no answer, or at least didn’t look like he’d have a good one when he spoke again. He confirmed those fears by stating, “This is what I get for acknowledging other people’s existence. Perhaps we have too little in common after all.”

“What? No, that’s not true,” the semi-drunk Jeff answered. “Don’t send me back there with them. They worship a dead pony, for God’s sake! I can’t go back to that nonsense yet!”

Unfortunately, Jeff didn’t know he’d halfway signed his death warrant.

“You now have five seconds to leave before you lose the rights to your nose, eyes and lips,” Ron chilled Jeff. “And as of now, it’s down to two seconds.”

Even in his desperate, halfway drunk state, Jeff had enough sense to fear for his life right now. With a half-second to spare, he made his way out of Ron’s office – and soon found Annie, Andy and April standing nearby, having seen the spectacle.

“Wow, you have a death wish. You just got way cooler,” April praised while still looking blank. But Jeff didn’t focus on someone finally seeing he was cool in this town. His focus, despite not being pitch perfect, was on Annie.

“So now you see me. Right on time to hit rock bottom. Good for you,” Jeff said with full on drunk sarcasm.

“I was just about to head home. Do you want to join us?” Annie tried to save face.

“You know what, I don’t need your pity. I never needed anything from you. And I don’t need anything from this town, our town, Greendale or nothing,” Jeff announced. “You don’t need me, fine, I don’t need you! How do you and your bestie feel about that?”

“Okay, there’s no need for that,” Jerry stepped in. “Why don’t we sit down and –“

“Shut up, Jerry! You’re only the fourth worst, so don’t make me put you above Pierce! I do not need you to challenge Leonard, trust me!” Jeff complained.

“Jeff, please,” Annie tried to reason.

“No, it’s cool. Have the time of your life, ignore me. Hell of a time to start doing it now, Mrs. Winger,” Jeff thoughtlessly rubbed in. Luckily, he still had enough sense to leave before Annie could react.

“If I gave him three seconds to leave like usual, he wouldn’t have the tools to say that,” Ron commented. “I have gigantically failed you, Lil’ Sebastian,” he almost choked up before drinking right from one of the bottles.

Jeff was getting emotional himself, or was trying not to, as he headed for the exit. His trademark feelings of Annie-related guilt were taking over, like usual when he upset her. Usually he could drown that out before long, but he didn’t have his regular tools with him. As such, he had to channel his emotions and anger at other things, to hold off the Annie guilt as long as possible.

“Stupid Ron. Stupid town,” Jeff told himself. “It’s just a little horse, for God’s sake. So freaking what?” he said too out loud.

“What did you say?” Okay, the stupid town really had to stop coming from nowhere.

This time, it was in the form of another scrawny guy, albeit not as scrawny as Tom. He certainly wasn’t trying to look as snazzy as Tom, either. Normally that would annoy Jeff too, but what the hell?

“Fine, you got me, the horse is stupid. Take me to get my lips ripped off, whatever,” Jeff huffed.

“Sssh!” the man hissed. “You’re lucky no one else heard you. I’ve never had that luck, trust me,” he whispered. “But that’s what you really think of him?”

“What of it?” Jeff lost his patience. However, it soon got through to him that the man almost looked….happy. Like a normal human being.

“First of all, let’s get you clear from here, just in case,” he told Jeff. “And when we’re safe, maybe we can get you a regular drink. Maybe that won’t wash out Ron’s booze, but I’d say you’ve earned the chance to find out. All on me, of course.”

Jeff had already paid for having false hope today. Still, it wasn’t like he was more capable of better judgment right now. And if this could distract him from Pawnee, Chris, Ron’s terrifying eyes and Annie guilt, perhaps he could take a last leap of faith.

“Fine,” Jeff still said dismissively. But he figured he might as well be more civil, adding, “I’m Jeff Winger, by the way.”

“Annie Edison’s Jeff Winger?” the man blindsided Jeff.

“What? Where did you get that….” Jeff tried to scoff. However, it didn’t look like this guy was so easy fooled. But where would he get that idea, or even know Annie? He’d already met everyone that Leslie could have showed her off to.

Except…. “So you’re Leslie Knope’s Ben?”

And that was how Jeff got regular alcohol in his system, paid for by Ben Wyatt.

And once his system finally evened out, Jeff found something else he’d longed for – a regular person. Or at least someone else who knew how ridiculous it all was.

“I wish I was kidding, trust me,” Ben recounted as he and Jeff kept talking in the bar. “But that’s how many raccoon attacks we had this year. And that’s the lowest total in 20 years.”

“Of course the Dean forgot to tell us that. You’d think he’d want me to come back rabies free. But who knows what his fetishes are these days,” Jeff scoffed.

“And he is an actual Dean?” Ben asked yet again. “He sounds like Salacious Crumb and Princess Leia’s understudy in Jabba’s palace. Well, maybe just Leia.”

“Oh my God. You’re Abed, but with more awareness of the real world. I gave up hope of meeting you in my lifetime,” Jeff slightly slurred after his next drink.

“If this Abed hates how they ruined Faramir too, I’ll take it,” Ben toasted Jeff.

“You should, he’s great. So are the rest of them. Even the naggy and old ones sometimes,” Jeff alluded to. “If they made Greendale kinda bearable, imagine what they could have done in this place.”

“I guess crazy groups of new friends can do that,” Ben agreed.

“Since I don’t have that here, what else helps?” Jeff asked. “You seem like a guy with a normal brain. How did you stay normal here? What made a guy like you wanna stay at a place like this?”

“My wife,” Ben answered instantly, but then corrected himself. “Well, she’s not my wife yet. But I might as well get used to saying it,” he smiled.

“You mean Leslie,” Jeff figured out. “You kept your sanity here, thanks to the queen of….unique people?” he managed to correct. Ben hardly looked convinced, of course, but he went on anyway.

“I wasn’t planning on it. I just wanted to come here, do what I had to do, get out of here and stay in my bleak little world. Then this….unique person and all her unique friends turned me upside down,” Ben recalled. “I didn’t want to leave after that. And I didn’t want to leave her.”

“How long did it take you to accept that?” Jeff wondered.

“A couple of months,” Ben answered point blank. “I mean, telling myself I didn’t want her for longer than that….that just made no sense. I’d probably cut my head off with Isildur’s blade if I denied it longer than that. I mean, if that son of a bitch Frodo Gamgee didn’t outbid me.”

“You don’t say,” Jeff said.

“Thank God I didn’t have to do more than say it,” Ben sighed in relief. “The rules said I couldn’t be with her, then her campaign took its best shot. But I didn’t listen. Well, not to the rules, anyway. The campaign….yeah, that almost broke me. At first.”

“Well, from what I know, it makes sense,” Jeff played devil’s advocate. “There’s certain rules you can’t break. Otherwise you look like an evil, slimy jackass. That’s not you, of course, I’m sure you weren’t trying to be! But if that’s how it looks, and that’s what you’d taint her with, what else can you do? Hell, you lived without that stuff before, you could do it again.”

“Is that right?” Ben frowned. “I had to be a jerk to do the only job that gave my life meaning back then. Going back to that after having something real and losing it….yeah, I’m sure that’d have been peachy. If I hadn’t seen her in that tiny park, I’d be real peachy right now.”

“But she’s….so not like you. And so’s this town. You can just….be okay with that? And everyone else is too?” Jeff went on more dangerous ground. “Aren’t you just letting them change you?”

“Okay, so she smiles and reaches out to people more than me. And I can talk about the library without spitting fire,” Ben stated.

“She hates that too? Well….I’ve gotta give her that one,” Jeff credited. He almost wondered if Annie knew that yet, then shuddered at how angry that would make her – among other things.

“Anyway, so we’re opposites. But we’re exactly the same too. I just….show it in a more conventional way than she does,” Ben said. “Sure, she’s changed me, but she brought out what was in me all along. She doesn’t see me as a jackass anymore, and she doesn’t need me to be like her. She just loves me for….well, me. No one ever made me feel like that was enough before.”

“You don’t say again….” was all Jeff had.

“That’s why I didn’t care about the rules or what people thought. Not like she did,” Ben went on. “Deep down, I’m sure I wanted to quit my job, screw the past and just enjoy something that really made me happy from day one. I had to go through a lot until I finally did it, but I did. And it’s the best thing I ever did.”

“You got all that from a….short, passionate, bubbly, naïve woman?” Jeff double checked.

“Well, she’s also my best friend. And the sexiest woman in town, even if she still doesn’t believe it. And someone I can come to for just about anything. It’s better than what I had before, trust me,” Ben concluded.

As Jeff tried to get certain parts of that love spiel out of his head, Ben continued with, “Well, I’ve droned about Leslie as much as usual now. I suppose we can talk about non-Leslie stuff, if we must. What about you, Jeff? I got bits and pieces of your story from Annie, but let’s hear you tell it.”

That really wasn’t the best way Ben could have asked that right now. “You talked to Annie?” Jeff couldn’t stop himself.

“Once she stopped asking about my proposal, I got in some words with her,” Ben confirmed. “She….sure is something. Of course, she modeled herself after Leslie, so what else would she be?”

“She was like that long before she heard of her. Trust me, she made herself that great, not Leslie. And especially not me. Like I didn’t know that already,” Jeff let escape.

“Now you don’t say, then,” Ben quipped. “Anything else I should know about her? Or you?”

Jeff was close to being drunk enough to go into….greater detail than sober Jeff would. Than any version of Jeff should, really. But that was just his luck, wasn’t it?

Once again, a potential friend in this town was just someone who….had certain things figured out more thoroughly than he did. Someone who could get away with certain things and not be the biggest jackass on the planet.

But at least this one knew better than to worship some mini-pony. And this town hadn’t sucked away all his common sense. “Okay, I’ll take it,” Jeff said, more out loud than he meant to.

Ben gave him a deadpan look – one that was less frightening than April and Ron’s, but one that was less feminine than Ann’s. Nevertheless, Jeff didn’t feel comfortable telling him deeper things about him, or Annie, or vice versa. But that made him no different from everyone else, so hopefully he didn’t take it personally.

“You know, I don’t wanna spoil the mystery yet. Not without a good night’s sleep,” Jeff got up to retreat.

“Okay, I guess. You’re sure you can make it to bed for that? Not that those motel beds are that comfortable, I can tell you,” Ben said. Of course he did.

“I’ll manage. I can manage better than I could have an hour ago,” Jeff tried to compliment.

“Good to know,” Ben acknowledged, getting up with Jeff. “I look forward to solving the mystery, Jeff. Just tone down on the Eagleton love in public, and maybe the four of us can solve it together sometime.” After a pause, he added, “And don’t worry. You’ll stop wanting to inject Chris with carbs in another week. 10 days, tops.”

“I’ll start the countdown in bed, then. Good night to you. Ben Wyatt!” Jeff tried to joke, although he almost threw up in his mouth from that parody. Or maybe Ron’s whiskey was finally bubbling up. Either way, it was time to go.

Jeff waved at Ben and headed out, glad that he was leaving with at least one new, reasonable friend. No matter how many other things Ben was that he….didn’t need to think about.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie's first few weeks in Pawnee include organizational clashes with Leslie, getting paired up with Ann and adjusting to living with Andy and April.

Annie knew it was bad form to fawn over someone else’s fiancée – especially her new boss and idol’s fiancée. Especially in their new house. But after Leslie described Ben’s proposal, and all his other romantic moves before he got home, what else could she do?

Still, Annie only hugged him for two seconds when Leslie introduced him. And she merely said he was like some fairy tale before she reigned herself in. But given that Leslie used even more descriptive phrases – some sentimental and some….not – Annie figured she looked okay by comparison.

By the time the initial mania died down, Annie was able to enjoy her actual dinner with Leslie and Ben. After actually talking to Ben, she felt more relaxed around him – at least when she wasn’t wondering if he was more like Jeff or Abed.

But when Leslie kept pointing out Ben’s ass – discreetly or otherwise – Annie merely nodded in agreement. Truthfully, it was too low for her tastes, but she wouldn’t tell Leslie that.

She was less censored when Leslie showed her piles of books, binders and newspapers. “Whoh! What are these giant pools of paper?” Annie let out.

“You can take Leslie out of the hoarder’s nest, but….” Ben wisely left unfinished.

“But your office looks so organized. This is way different,” Annie settled, too busy trying not to twitch over the mess. She’d been better with Troy and Abed’s lack of organization, and Andy and April would be their own little challenge. But this was something out of an OCD person’s worst nightmare on crack.

“I’ve only been here a few weeks. A new system in a new house takes time,” Leslie dismissed.

“And cut to our bodies being eaten by cats. That’ll be the last shot when they’re done filming, you know,” Ben warned.

“Oh please, we got another 10 years, at least! The cats’ll be too lazy to eat us then!” Leslie checkmated Ben. But this made her too busy to see Annie braving her way towards the newspapers.

“Annie, wait! Don’t you want a last meal first?” Ben asked as seriously as possible, but Annie was lost in her usual zone. This was indeed a challenge, yet as she looked through everything, she could see what needed to be done.

“Here’s your problem. You should sort these into separate eras. The early days at Parks, the Lot 48 stuff, the Harvest Festival, each month of the campaign. You can make 10 easy piles instead of one big one,” Annie commented while getting to work. “Then we can put the three most important ones in here, put the next three upstairs, and leave the others in a dark room somewhere.”

“Well….if you want to hurt their feelings and walk more, you could do that,” Leslie said. “But then again-“

“And then we need to color code the most important lines!” Annie realized. “Let’s use purple to underline the big stuff. The stories with the most purple lines go on top, then the one with the most brown lines will go on the bottom. We’ll do the same to the binders, too. Ben, get my pens out of my purse, please.”

“Well, we do want to be good hosts, I guess,” Ben said, trying not to sound too much in awe for Leslie’s sake.

For her part, Leslie tried to interject her points and make a case for everything to stay. But unlike everyone else in Pawnee, Annie didn’t give Leslie room to steamroll her.

She somehow kept this up for the next two hours, as she restacked everything properly, put the piles in the proper rooms she designated, and blew past Leslie before she could take over. When Annie was finally done, Leslie was still speechless, as was Ben – albeit for different reasons.

This made Annie so proud that she’d done this right off the bat, thinking this was the best start possible. She headed home and ignored Andy and April’s messes much better that night.

The next day, Annie delivered Leslie’s coffee and candy bars to her office on time. Leslie didn’t have anything to say, which was weird. Maybe she was too busy with work today – and maybe Annie could make a difference there too.

Annie offered to look at Leslie’s files and her cabinet, and she took her silence as approval. It was all far more detailed and organized than her home – although anything else would be – but there were some clear ways to improve it. She spouted out a whole bunch of ideas while planning them out in her head, until Leslie finally spoke out “Okay, okay enough!”

As Annie was taken aback, Leslie found more room to continue. “I get how you want to charge in outta the gate. But a good way to do that is to respect how your boss does things. And my way has worked so far, whether there are purple underlines or not.”

“Well, the biggest stuff here would have red underlines,” Annie corrected quietly. “To make it different from your home piles.”

“They’re different already, thank you. I wasn’t ready for them to be that different, so let’s preserve one system that works, okay?” Leslie requested, but then laughed nervously. “I’ve got it from here, don’t worry. Just go back to your office and get your own crazy system in order, okay?”

Annie frowned, but didn’t want to go further on that with Leslie. So she left and tried to organize her own office – yet the ways she could have organized Leslie’s system still haunted her. Especially since they were objectively way better.

As such, she called and tried to make her case again. When that failed, she went back in person, but Leslie shut her suggestions down and wouldn’t let her get a word in. Once Annie went back to her office and cooled down, she tried on the phone one last time, but that failed even worse.

After she oddly hung up on her once she mentioned the Vice President, it pushed Annie over the edge. How could someone so brilliant not see reason? Or using the right color coded system that even worked in Greendale? No one could be that stubborn and inflexible, right?

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Annie vaguely recalled Jeff being there during her last phone call. And that there was some kind of paper ball battle in Leslie’s office. And that they may have tried to use Annie’s colored pens for things other than writing on paper.

But by the time Annie could get her head straight, she was storming out of City Hall. Once she stopped, she felt like she did after every other time she went too far – like the crazy person everyone probably thought she was.

And this time she got in a pen and paper war with Leslie Knope over it. Granted, the fact she was even more type A than Annie should have made it better. But it really didn’t.

Annie came here to stop regressing like that. To learn from someone who had it far more together than she did. Now both of those dreams had already crashed and burned.

She walked until she spotted the nearest diner – a place called J.J.’s something. Maybe if she got some food, she’d avoid crying in public.

Annie sat at a booth and sighed, vaguely looking over the menu. It was close to dinner time, yet she really didn’t feel like dinner food. The day started so well at breakfast time, so maybe some breakfast food would help her feel good again. It was a long shot and well off her usual schedule, but that made it all the more important.

“Excuse me?” Annie asked the nearest waitress. “I know this sounds weird. But are you still serving breakfast waffles?” She checked the menu again and asked, “Like this double decker syrup/waffle sandwich. That’s not dinner food, but what the hell? Could you see if they have that, please?”

“They have it,” Annie heard, from a voice too far away to be the waitress’s.

In fact, it came from another booth, where Leslie was sitting with what looked like a waffle sandwich in her hands. “What are you doing here?” Annie gasped.

“What are you doing here? That’s the far far weirder question, believe me,” Leslie commented. But she’d already heard the answer, and Annie was re-examining hers.

How in God’s name were they both here, ordering the same unusual thing after that fight?

Because they were incredibly similar. That’s what Annie wanted when she came to Pawnee. But the bad ways in which they were similar ruined today. Yet right now, she really wanted to care more about the good ways again.

If she had to swallow her pride and accept that papers with more red underlines should be stacked on top, it really was a small price to pay.

“I’m sorry,” Annie made herself say – but she also heard Leslie say it too.

“I am sorry, Leslie. I’m enough of an organizing freak at Greendale. I didn’t want to be that girl here, with you,” Annie admitted.

“No, I’m sorry. Once the old Knope steamroller rolls on by, there’s a big body count,” Leslie conceded. “But liking purple and separating binders from their sisters shouldn’t be a death sentence.”

Annie could only nod as Leslie came over to her booth. “Maybe if we ordered some more waffles and talked this out, other dumb things would sound smart too. If anyone’s smart enough to make dumb smart, I’m sure it’s you.”

“Thanks,” Annie said, both too relieved and confused to say any more.

“Amy, the lady and I will share a quadruple decker, please,” Leslie ordered. Somehow, this made the waitress and the entire restaurant pause in shock.

“But…that means she’ll eat it too. I mean, even Ben and Ann haven’t….” Amy stammered.

“Well, this is a Waffle Summit. We need different rules on this one. That’s the whole point, right?” Leslie reasoned, albeit with a nervous chuckle. Yet when her and Annie got a quadruple decker plate of waffles, and it was cut in half, Leslie kept her fidgeting in check as Annie took her share.

But when Annie had her first taste of a JJ’s waffle – and could open her mouth wide enough – all her remaining anxiety washed away. Leslie’s bliss matched her own, and soon their ideas matched as well. While they weren’t completely comfortable compromising their systems, the waffles and their company made it go down easier.

This was what Annie wanted all along – the chance to exchange ideas and learn from a like-minded Leslie Knope. Even if their like mindedness was the problem until tonight. But Annie vowed it wouldn’t be a problem anymore, at least not on her end. As long as she didn’t put the purple pen highlighted papers at the bottom in front of Annie, they’d be fine.

After that, it was if the fighting never happened. Annie returned to helping Leslie regularly, and Leslie let her watch and learn her craft. And in their spare time, she tried to pair Annie and Ann together, for far too obvious reasons.

Still, Ann was a good compromiser too. She allowed Annie to accompany her on a night shift at the hospital after work one night. And Leslie promised to text and ask about the Ann’s becoming best friends only four times.

But by the time Leslie finished her second call, Annie was pretty worn out. So many people came in with raccoon bites, bird bites and so many Sweetums headaches. It was dizzying just to watch it, let alone hold a patient’s jittery hand while Ann injected them with Sweetums’ headache shots – a second before they went back to eating Sweetums products.

“Is this what I missed out on?” Annie exclaimed. “Would it have been all candy headaches and rabid raccoons?”

“No, tax men come by every April when they find Ron’s cabin,” Ann added. “What do you mean, missed out on?”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of training to be in health care all my life. Administration, not nursing. But I gave it up for forensics, so….” Annie left hanging.

“So your name is Annie, and you wanted a career in health care,” Ann recounted. “You know we’re taking that to our grave while Leslie’s around, right?”

“It’s not like you hate her putting us together….right?” Annie got worried. “I mean, I have nothing against health care now. It just didn’t seem like a satisfying career anymore. Not that it isn’t for people like you!”

“No, I’m sure,” Ann agreed. “But we’re different that way, and that’s good. Just because we have the same three letters in our first name, we’re not clones. Especially in….some certain areas.”

Annie tried not to look down at two of those areas, in case that wasn’t what Ann meant. Ann continued with, “I don’t hate us being paired up, but it shouldn’t be forced. And she shouldn’t assume we’re the same. Me and Leslie weren’t forced together….well, she didn’t do more forcing than usual. And we’re the furthest thing from being similar. But we’re still best friends.”

“And I’m not gonna come between that, trust me. That’s not what Leslie’s doing. Not on purpose,” Annie jumped ahead, hoping to swat potential jealousy off the bat.

“I know. I’m just saying, there’s more to friendship than first names,” Ann explained. “They keep saying you’re just like Leslie, but no one’s like her. Not even Ben. And that’s what makes her special.”

“That’s why I’m hoping to be like her someday,” Annie admitted. “Is that bad now?”

“You’re already halfway there. At least on the scary parts, trust me,” Ann recalled. “But it’s no big deal if you’re not there.”

“Well….I don’t really like how I’m not like her. Not these days,” Annie opened up.

“If you have to force yourself to be like someone, it’s not worth it,” Ann answered. “It took years of acting like my boyfriends to figure that out. But maybe I don’t have to be like Chris or Andy or even Leslie to be okay. And even if you’re not Leslie Knope or Ann Perkins, Annie Edison seems pretty okay on her own. So far, anyway.”

Annie wished she was completely convinced about that. The more of her that Ann saw, the more she might think differently. Still, she might have been on to something about forcing things, since all her greatest friendships came when she didn’t plan them.

Then again, if something wasn’t worth it if it had to be forced….that might explain why certain relationships never happened. Or likely never would. But Ann had truly been through enough tonight without hearing that. So Annie answered with, “That sounds like a good start. Thank you.”

“Sure, Ann,” Ann tried to joke unconvincingly. When that fell flat, Ann changed the subject with, “And for the record, I know health care’s still cool, even if you rejected it. But I –“

Yet she got cut off when patients on sugar rushes blew by, in a race with patients infected by raccoon bites. As they made a mess, Ann sighed and corrected, “I take it back, you got out just in time.”

“This is just like an average Troy and Abed morning. I got this,” Annie vowed, then impressively restrained one of the sugar rush patients in time for Ann to give him a shot. But it left them too tired to deal with the others, nonetheless.

As they recovered, Ann said, “At some point, Leslie’ll probably make you, me, Andy and April dress up as the A-Team. Just to warn you.”

“Oh. Well, I guess I should call dibs on being Bradley Cooper,” Annie resigned. “April should have dibs on Liam Neeson for….well, ever.”

After a pause, Ann confirmed, “Yep, that sounds right. Sorry you know that the hard way too.”

It wasn’t the hard way all the time – uneasy and sometime aggravating, but not hard. Yet Annie could distract herself from Andy and April’s messes, as long as she had work and books. Even when they got too loud playing video games, other games and other….unsettling things, Annie willed herself not to snap at them.

It didn’t help when April kept saying she got “smiling germs” on everything. But for all her lack of warmth, and all of Andy’s misinformation, Annie balanced it out by spending a half hour a night with their three-legged dog, Champion.

Yet one night, April wasn’t too busy with video games to notice Annie playing with her dog. “What are you doing to him?” April asked.

“I was just petting him and giving him his toys. Wasn’t I, boy?” Annie asked Champion while petting his back.

“He should have scratched you for showing all those teeth. Obviously you did something to him,” April accused.

“Never. Enough’s been done to him already,” Annie insisted, hoping April realized she was just talking about the leg. “I wouldn’t let anything else happen to him, even if he had four legs. Or even two or five. You know that, right Champ?” she asked the dog again before scratching his ear.

“No nicknames. You’re gonna make his other legs fall out and run away from you,” April frowned.

“Not on my watch, they’re not,” Annie vowed. “I waited too long to live with a pet, so that’s not ruining it.”

“So you didn’t murder dozens of animals with your teeth? I don’t buy it,” April said.

“I wish you didn’t have to,” Annie sighed. “My parents wouldn’t give me anything other than school stuff. And when I…..moved out, my first new neighborhood was too dirty for pets. The one I’m in now….is too crazy.”

“What was the dirty one, a sex shop?” April focused on. It took everything Annie had not to react.

“The point was this is the first animal I’ve ever cared for. That’s the best thing to talk about,” Annie laid down. “Animals were way better than people to me, at least before I turned 19. At least they’re still great now.”

“Were better than people?” April questioned. “Well, if you got brainwashed and changed your mind, you can always get washed back, I guess.”

“Awww, that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me. Thanks,” Annie said sincerely, despite ruining the little moment. But she distracted herself by petting Champion and lifting him onto her lap. Once Champion licked her face, she just rubbed his head with one hand and quickly searched for a hankie with the other.

Once Annie wiped herself clean and let Champion rest on her lap, she looked to see April give her the same old blank stare. But this one didn’t seem as hard as the others. Somehow, this seemed like a seismic shift, yet Annie didn’t dare react and ruin it.

“April, it’s time!” Andy wrecked the moment for them. April headed right off like nothing happened, as Annie knew exactly what was coming.

Andy was training to be a policeman, and as part of it, he roleplayed with April every night as a character named Burt Maclin. She played a criminal named Janet Snakehole, and their games inevitably ended….graphically, from what Annie could sadly hear.

It was almost like an average Troy and Abed routine, save for the ending. The more she thought about it – which she had to do to block out the ending on most nights – Annie thought she had enough experience for something like that now.

Tonight was an off night, since Leslie was fine tuning her Christmas presents. And Annie knew enough clean material about Andy and April’s little universe by now – even if it was loosely plotted.

So she gave them a few minutes, waited until Janet escaped Burt’s clutches, then got into character and headed right for the living room.

“Agent Macklin?” Annie said in her improving British accent. “I understand you’re after a rather sticky wicket. Some special forces and Scotland Yard thought you needed help. Constable Geneva, at your service.”

“No way. Shrek sent you?” Andy got out of character.

“No way,” April said with no follow up. But Annie wasn’t going to give her room to kick her out.

“Snakehole, there you are!” Annie said as Geneva. “You thought I wouldn’t come to America for you? Some tosser you are!”

“That doesn’t exist, and you don’t either, get out of here,” April tried to order.

“Then take me out yourself, I dare you,” Annie/Geneva didn’t back down.

“Fine, I stole this laser from the Queen and now you’re dead, happy?” April pretended to blast her. But Annie had an ace up her sleeve.

“Ugh, that would work,” Annie stumbled around. “If I didn’t get laser healing technology from the Blorgons!” Annie pretended to scan herself, then stood upright. “That’s right. Even my arch enemies from outer space are helping me take you down!”

“Whoh! Janet, you know aliens?” Andy asked. “You didn’t tell me because you know I’d ace the alien ABI test, right?”

“Andy, come on, she’s ruining it. Make her go away,” April demanded.

“You’re asking an FBI agent to help you?” Annie stayed in character, then turned to Andy. “Why would she think you’d help her? Unless you’re a double agent! I’ll bet you two keep people up all night who are just trying to sleep, don’t you?”

“It’s all professional, I swear, Your Majesty!” Andy defended.

“I don’t believe you. You want to prove it, then beat me,” Annie challenged. “Any real police officer can defeat a British agent with alien technology. And you’re going to be – I mean, you are – a real officer. Right, governor?”

“Governor, eh?” Andy pretended to think, then put shades on his face. “He’s gonna bow to your corpse in an hour. Don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

As Annie struggled to understand him, Andy got out a toy gun and shot what appeared to be marsh mellows at her. Annie ducked a little late, briefly offended, but she could see that Andy was pretty committed to his part. Ironic for someone far less committed to cleaning and reading.

But his commitment still had nothing on Annie’s.

She made a humming noise and called out, “You almost got through my space shields, but not quite!” There weren’t any personal space shields on Inspector Spacetime, yet Andy and April probably didn’t know that. Andy/Burt’s little moves and maneuvers wouldn’t have beaten Geneva in a fair fight either – although he was surprisingly agile – but he didn’t need to know that either.

Once Annie brought herself to lose to Andy and give him confidence, their characters could team up against April. She still likely wasn’t happy about this – or that could have just been her normal look. But eventually, she sunk back into character as Janet Snakehole too.

For someone who showed no emotion, at least as far as Annie saw, she really threw herself into Snakehole. It was almost overwhelming and frightening, in a far different way than usual from April. But Annie had developed Geneva for too long – in far better ways than the TV show, if she said so herself – to not be overwhelming herself.

Soon enough, Andy just watched Geneva and Snakehole go at it, until Geneva somehow got Snakehole pinned down with her quantum photon pinner. “Now will you surrender the jewels to the Queen Mother?” Geneva demanded.

“Never! My mistress Beavers will avenge me!” Snakehole insisted.

“My inspector friend took her down a fortnight ago. And foiled every escape attempt, ninja invasion and monkey attack she had. She’s singing like a jolly roger right now, so the curtain’s dropping on you, lassie!” Geneva stated.

“Not while I have….no, I used that. But I’ve got….no wait, I’ve really got….” April was actually at a loss.

“Do you surrender, Snakehole?” Geneva asked formidably. “Tell me you did it, just tell me you did it!”

“Fine, I did it, whatever,” April finally conceded as herself. “You win and you ruined this too, happy now?”

“At least it’ll help me sleep better tonight,” Annie returned to say, as she backed away from April.

“That was awesome, Geneva!” Andy praised. “I felt like a real cop just by shooting those photon spammers at you!”

“That was the idea. But it’s time to listen to April’s again now,” Annie said, as the toll of the game was making her sleepy. “You go do that and tell Annie about it tomorrow. At least the PG-13 parts.”

“With one f-word and nip slip slipped in?” Andy wondered.

“Save that for the afternoon, if you can,” Annie compromised. “Okay then, night guys,” she said with a chipper smile and her American accent before turning away.

“K,” Annie could have sworn she heard April say. That was far more than she’d ever said when Annie said good night. At that moment, Annie felt like she’d truly been accepted – and for someone still unfamiliar with that feeling, it felt invigorating.

The good feeling lasted through the night, through Burt and Janet’s making up, and through the next day as well. Once work was over, Annie bounced into the Parks department to greet her roommates – but they were too busy watching Mr. Swanson’s office.

Annie joined them and found out why, as Jeff was drinking with Mr. Swanson and agreeing with his anti-government views very loudly. It was actually the first time Annie thought about Jeff in days, which was sad and satisfying.

But on the off chance Jeff wasn’t too drunk, Annie wanted to talk to him now. She wanted to share how much fun she was having, and use her happiness to uplift Jeff as well. She’d make up for forgetting about him, show him a good time and not get carried away doing it.

“They worship a dead pony, for God’s sake! I can’t go back to that nonsense yet!” she then heard Jeff say. But that was nothing compared to seeing Andy and even April gasp in terror. Annie was stunned, until she saw Mr. Swanson and totally got it.

Yet even that was preferable to what happened when Jeff came out.

By the time he finished belittling Annie and bringing back memories of “Mrs. Winger,” Annie’s good mood was totally erased.

The more she thought about how one drunk rant by Jeff could ruin days of happiness – and what it meant that he still had that power – the worse it got. The more she thought about Mrs. Winger and how she still hadn’t really done anything to destroy that mindset, the more Annie felt as sullen as April.

All she’d done is work a lot, indulge in fantasy and get sidetracked by Jeff, even if that took longer than usual. She could have done all that in Greendale – but Pawnee and Leslie were supposed to make her better than that. More well rounded than that.

But what if it was too late? What if she’d gone downhill so much before she got here, there was no plausible way to fix it now?

You could take Annie out of Greendale, but you couldn’t take Jeff-obsessed, work-crazy, childish Annie out of Annie. Not yet, if one Jeff rant and paranoid spiral outweighed days of joy.

If Pawnee and Leslie and Ben and Burt Macklin couldn’t fix that, maybe Annie Edison was a lost cause after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Day brings about heart to hearts for Annie and Leslie, and something more complicated for Annie and Jeff.

Christmas Eve was both easy and difficult for Jeff and Annie. Since Annie was helping Leslie get her last minute pre-holiday work in, she was too busy to run into Jeff. And since Jeff was the master of avoidance, he didn’t give himself room to run into Annie. It was like any other day since they got here, only both of them felt kind of rotten.

Of course, Jeff was ready to be the biggest grinch on Christmas Day. With no work, he could stay in the motel room and lock himself from Pawnee’s Christmas madness. And other things that might have already been seduced by it.

Just when he remembered past Christmas seductions and halfway wished he hadn’t, he heard a knock on the door before it got too….straining. He briefly thought it was Annie, and felt the weirdest combination of relief and annoyance when he was proven wrong.

“Merry Christmas Day, Jeff Winger!” Chris announced.

“So Santa tracked me down for my lumps of coal after all. You went all out this year, Nick,” Jeff admitted.

“I see you didn’t take a day off from being deliciously witty. Even during a holiday. You’re as dedicated as Leslie Knope!” Chris complimented.

“Yes, and as you can see, I’m very busy. So if you want me to be a good worker, you should….” Jeff gave him room to figure it out, as his Christmas present.

“Hold on, I’ll solve your riddle as soon as I give you your present,” Chris answered, then Jeff noticed his gift bag. Dean Pelton was the only one to make Jeff nervous about a gift bag until today.

“I know these gifts are rushed. I was originally going to give them out when we finished caroling. But Ben decided to go with me for the first time in years, so I had to give him your slot. I know these gifts barely make up for it, but-“ Chris said before being cut off.

“Hold on. Ben volunteered to take my spot?” Jeff asked.

“Literally four split seconds after I said I’d ask you,” Chris answered. “The one time I wished he wouldn’t get jealous and join in again, he does anyway. Funny, huh?”

“I’m sure that’s exactly what it was,” Jeff let Chris believe.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it after we carol. At least before we all go to the Snakehole tonight. You can try to work things out with him then,” Chris offered.

“Maybe I’ll do that,” Jeff stunned himself. That would ruin his plans to stay in his room. And if Ben was there, then Leslie would be there, and that meant….

But he didn’t have to talk to her if someone else distracted him. An Annie buffer, he might only say to himself. Plus Annie would probably follow Leslie around like always, so he’d be double protected. That was….good enough.

By the time Jeff finished working that out, Chris hugged him and headed off while humming to himself. Jeff narrowly remembered to get the gift bag before shutting the door, then looked through it and reluctantly gave Chris credit for getting the right hair gels.

He briefly thought only one other person would show that much attention to detail for his gifts. If Jeff was really going out tonight, he’d need to shut that out faster – and get ready to put this stuff to use soon.

As for that one other person, she had just finished taking her Christmas morning walk through Pawnee. By the time she got back, she was stunned to see Andy and April already up, before seeing the reason why.

“Good, you’re late too!” Leslie opened. “I should have been here at 5 am, but some things came in late. Did you have a four hour morning power walk too? I had to cut those down to Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays when I got elected.”

“It was only two hours,” Annie said in her puzzlement.

“Wow, that takes me way back. Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” Leslie assured. “I know you too well by now. That’s why I’m here.”

“Do tell, please,” Annie insisted.

“I know you felt left out when I gave everyone their Christmas gifts yesterday, except you,” Leslie figured.

“Yeah, you should have seen her holding that razor all night,” April lied.

“Oh God, I knew that four-minute nap could have made me too late!” Leslie gasped. “I’ll just give it to you now, then!”

Leslie quickly came up and put something in Annie’s hands. It looked like a binder, which was the most normal thing for Leslie to hold, even on Christmas morning. But this one had Annie’s name on it. What’s more, it had more Annie-related things when she opened it.

It was a vintage, overly detailed and information packed binder as only Leslie could make it. But this was all about Annie.

It had stuff like her high school report cards, some unflattering high school pictures, more flattering college pictures, pictures of her at various Greendale clubs and activities, and other mementos from Greendale. There were even pictures and mementos from her time at rehab.

“I know this isn’t a painting or a candy house or golden pens, but it was the best I could do. All I had time to do was call your Dean, your roommates, your old principals and your rehab councilor, and ask them to mail that stuff here. I kept getting answering machines from your parents, though. Must have missed them before they went on vacation,” Leslie reasoned.

“You did what?” Annie objected to the last part. But it wasn’t worth ruining this with the truth, so she answered, “I guess they’ll kick themselves when they get home.”

“Well, it took all of December 22’nd to talk to the rest. But once that Abed guy talked like President Carter, I couldn’t make myself stop him! You know what that’s like!” Leslie explained.

“I have an idea,” Annie semi-lied.

“Of course, then this stuff didn’t get here until last night, so I had to do both binders overnight. If I’m cranky, it’s only because I didn’t get my three hours of sleep. Two hours might just hold it back, though,” Leslie stated.

“But you did this for me….wait, two binders?” Annie caught up.

“Yeah, one for you, and one for me to remember you by. And if it’s worth enough euros or space dollars after you’re the third female President, I might put it up for an offer. But only an offer, that’s all I’ll promise them!” Leslie promised.

Annie merely nodded, too lost in looking through the story of her life. All the painful moments caught on camera and chronicled on paper from high school, all the hardships and triumphs of rehab, and all the triumphs of Greendale.

All sorted and retold as only Leslie could do – with even more care than Annie would have given it. “Why did you do this?” she finally asked.

“I needed to get you a present and get to know you better. I would have asked, but it would have spoiled the surprise,” Leslie figured. “Not that I was surprised you’re this great or brave. The rehab thing threw me off, and so did the whole ‘Annie Kim disgracing Model UN’ thing. The rest I saw coming!”

Annie looked back and forth between the binder and Leslie. Between the written, photographic case for her being a brilliant, fully formed woman, and the face of someone who fully believed in it. And in her.

The binder’s message and Leslie’s face should have made Annie feel like that woman. Especially since she hadn’t felt like it for the last 36 hours. And hadn’t felt like it for the last several days before coming to Pawnee. And hadn’t felt it for many spurts of time before that.

This should have been the final overwhelming proof that she was that woman. Yet even this wasn’t enough to make her fully believe it. It all combined to make Annie squeeze her eyes shut, which helped her keep the tears down.

“Wow, usually my candy houses bring out the happy tears,” she heard Leslie.

“It’s not that,” Annie blurted out. “It’s….I don’t know what it is. It’s probably stupid, anyway.”

“Anyone who represents Finland like you did can’t be that stupid,” Leslie said. “So what else is it?”

“You want to know? I mean, it’s Christmas and everything,” Annie began to backtrack. Of all things, she didn’t need Leslie to see just how….not put together she really was. Not now, if ever.

“Come on, Ben isn’t caroling with Chris for another hour, I got time. Even if I didn’t….” Leslie set up. “I know you must have tons of friends who Iisten to you in Greendale. But I can try to fill the gap for you.”

Fill the gap. Somehow, that sounded funny to Annie.

But when she thought it over and realized why that was, it got sad pretty quick. Not because of what she already knew she lacked, but some other stuff she realized she always lacked.

“I don’t have an Ann or a Ben in my life,” Annie admitted. “I have six amazing friends, but I can’t really get into my problems with them. Not like you offered to.” She had to close her eyes again as she accepted, “The closest person I’ve ever had to that is…..and he’s….” She didn’t dare finish and get sidetracked by him yet again.

Eventually, she sighed and wiped her eyes while finishing with, “I don’t have someone like you to share these things with. I never have. Between that and what I’m feeling now, I wouldn’t know where to begin. Now that’s stupid.”

It was better that Annie knocked herself off of Leslie’s pedestal sooner rather than later. At least then she could salvage the last few weeks of their working relationship. Once again, she couldn’t seem to get out of her own way, or seem to think she deserved to have someone seriously help her.

At least no one else could be as pitiful as that.

“You know, I didn’t always have an Ann,” Leslie broke the silence. “The closest thing I’d ever had left for….your friend’s favorite town. But it’s never too late to find a new, better Lindsay.”

She smiled and patted Annie’s hand before getting up. “I tell you what. You rest up, then you’ll meet all of us for Christmas drinks at the Snakehole. After that loosens you up, we’ll be loosey goosey enough to talk and set you straight. Then we’ll get just hammered enough that you don’t forget about it. Sound good?”

“It sounds like a bunch of things,” was all Annie could say.

“Bound to be a few good ones in there. Ride those to Christmas at the Snakehole! Sleighs aren’t passé yet, right?” Leslie encouraged, leaving Annie to think it over and then nod her head.

“So she’s gonna get drunk? Okay, that’s worth sappy stuff just this once,” April said.

“There we go, the ghosts of interns past and present unite! Christmas magic, you never fail!” Leslie celebrated. But Annie would save that for tonight, if she had reason to be.

Leslie eventually left to get her missed hour of sleep, and Annie went back to her room to get her mind straight. She felt it was just straight enough when she left for the Snakehole Longue, and felt a little lighter when Leslie and her fellow women welcomed her.

But before they could lead her onward, Annie noticed that Ben was already there – and was greeting a man much taller than he was. “Jeff?”

“Annie,” Jeff said in a weird tone, like he was shocked, hopeful and resigned all at once. Yet he seemed to settle on his usual indifference, as he said, “Merry Christmas for the next five hours, then.”

“You too,” Annie responded. Before she could give him a lingering look, she focused on Ben. “Merry Christmas, Ben. Can you still say it back?”

“Probably not in a few hours,” Ben said somewhat hoarsely, but non-musically.

“Then I guess I should get the musical dirt while I can,” Jeff declared. But he was tempted to offer to tell Annie the details if he couldn’t. Before he could give in, Leslie came over to take Annie away in time.

“Come on, the drinks and the sharing await,” Leslie said joyously, then her face went to stone when she noticed Jeff – astonishing for someone as rubber faced as her. “Mr. Winger,” she said blankly.

“Mrs. Knope,” Jeff could only say. Leslie gave her fiancée a little glare as well, but left them alone anyway and took Annie with her. With that, Jeff didn’t want to say anything more – not until he had the plausible deniability of being drunk.

For Leslie’s part, she wanted her friends to stop her from getting too drunk before she talked to Annie. Luckily, Ann knew her limit by heart. Annie’s limit wasn’t as familiar, but to be safe, she stopped after the fourth shot.

Yet it was more intoxicating to be around a whole group of women for a night out. Leslie, Ann, Donna and April were no Britta and Shirley – but after a while, she didn’t know if that worked for or against them. Yet as refreshing as it was to have a night out with female friends, there was one she needed to get serious with first.

Even amidst the loud music, drinking and Jeff 30 feet away, Annie and Leslie broke away to find their own booth. With her inhibitions slightly lowered and her mind still just clear enough, Annie brought herself to truly open up to her boss.

“Thanks again for the binder,” Annie opened. “It made me think for a second I was Leslie Knope. That’s all I really wanted.”

“You too,” Leslie hiccupped. But she shook it off and corrected, “Okay, that was a freebie. What’s that about wanting me?”

“Wanting to be you,” Annie emphasized. “I never had a real female role model. Or any role model. Maybe that’s why I keep acting like a child. I mean, you made me look so great, and I know I did all that stuff! I just….I haven’t felt that great lately. I haven’t felt like you.”

Annie cleared her mind while she could and continued, “I knew I wanted to be like you for months now. You don’t let being crazy over a guy define you. You don’t let yourself act like a kid to get your way. And people love you enough to do things like run your campaign for you. To never give up on you when you really, really need someone….I’m usually not that lucky.”

She was threatening to repeat herself, so Annie simplified with, “I just know I came here so I could figure out how to be you. Being that kind of woman is that important to me. Even when I don’t act like it.”

Annie started wondering if she was laying her admiration on too thick. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“That’s what you think about me?” she heard Leslie answer. But it wasn’t in a drunk way, or an excitable Leslie way. It sounded more….surprised than that.

“Of course I do. But I’m sure you get that all the time,” Annie said – yet it was her turn to be unknowingly wrong.

“Not really. Not from people who aren’t my best friend. Or people I don’t see naked on purpose,” Leslie admitted. “I mean, I try to inspire people all the time, but….no one’s ever told me they were that inspired. And you’re not even from here. I didn’t even know you. No one like you has….ever seen me that way before.”

“Well, now you know a bunch of new things for Christmas. But this really shouldn’t be new,” Annie repeated.

“You’re not the only one who’s not used to things, you know,” Leslie insisted. “I mean, you should have seen me when those cameras got here. You should have seen me before Ben got here. You think you’re an embarrassment?” she asked before downing another drink. “Trust me, you got nothing on old me.”

“That should make you more inspiring, right? You got out of it! I’m still trying and failing,” Annie argued.

“Come on, if you can’t believe I wasn’t great once, I can’t either,” Leslie said. “That pill nonsense was years ago, and you got totally clean. What’d you do that’s so bad lately?”

“I let a professor feel me up!” Annie felt pushed and loose enough to admit. Leslie had no answer for that.

When that felt like less of a good thing, Annie added, “It was just my foot, though, don’t worry. But I was so desperate and stupid to not be stupid, I let him rub my foot to get test answers. I wasn’t even that desperate in high school when I was on pills, and I let this happen last month! No one thought I was a slutty cheater, but….but….”

Annie began to access some hidden pain from that ordeal. “They didn’t think anything about it. They just let it go like it was nothing. It was a relief at first, but….it doesn’t feel like it now. It was like they didn’t care at all. Or they weren’t surprised, something rotten like that. Even the dean heard it and he didn’t do anything.”

Annie couldn’t let herself go on or she’d start crying – and/or trash her friends further. But Leslie didn’t say anything either, which gave Annie time to gather herself. However, when she was done, she saw that Leslie still wasn’t talking. She just had a blank look on her face, which was really foreign on her.

But when she moved her face and lips, she let out, “The fuck?!”

She was barely more eloquent as she stammered, “They didn’t…..and the Dean didn’t….no! No! There’s some things you tell people before you send them interns! Our school has low test scores, we look the other way when perverts touch women, we let them have friends who do it too! That’s just common courtesy!”

Leslie kept grumbling as she tried to pull out her cell phone. “I’m going to tell him that right now. Then I’ll make sure no one works with Greendale ever again! That’ll show ‘em!”

“No, it won’t!” Annie panicked. “Don’t make Greendale pay for that! I let him do it and I took the answers, not the school! It’s halfway my fault!”

“If the whole school let you think that, it should pay through the roof! You’re telling me no one told you that?!” Leslie demanded. But when Annie didn’t answer, Leslie’s fury became more manageable.

She softened up further as she slid right next to Annie. When Annie could look at her, she said, “Wow. I’m sorry no one told you that. Really, I….are you all right?”

It was the second part that floored Annie.

No one ever asked her that after her secret came out in song. None of the only friends she ever had asked her anything about it, or what she was going through. Not even Jeff. But this stranger who knew her for two weeks was showing so much more concern for her.

What did that say about Annie? Or her friends? Or anything else?

“No, I’m not,” Annie honestly and sadly answered. “I don’t know what I am. I’ve never known who I am.” This time she let a sob escape, then tried to take it back. “No, I don’t want to be a crybaby,” she muttered.

“Well, you’re not. There’s a bunch of c-words I hate, so you’re not getting away with using that one either. Okay?” Leslie insisted. 

Annie gave a watery smile, but now that she had permission, the water won out. All she did was sniffle and let out a few tears, yet it would have been worse if Leslie hadn’t slid over and hugged her.

This helped Annie take a breath, as she was soothed in the kind of female companionship and support she’d never experienced before. The kind she’d never really had, regardless of gender.

“Good, Ira and the Douche didn’t notice and make this look gross. Things are getting better already,” Leslie assured as she broke apart and Annie smiled a little bigger.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to risk that,” Annie kept apologizing. “I’m still embarrassed I told you. I mean, you’d never get involved in something like that. Even for important stuff.”

“I tried to pimp out my best friend for a bigger budget. And my future fiancée had to come in and stop me. So we’re even,” Leslie offered.

“Oh. Well, you didn’t let him touch you, so….” Annie willed herself not to continue.

“Before I met Ben, I wasted years mooning over a guy I had one magical night with. Well, it looked magical before I learned a few….things,” Leslie hinted at. “So I can be embarrassing too.”

“You just loved someone a lot more than they loved you,” Annie reasoned. “I thought we had that in common already. I mean, you love this town so much, and they still almost let Bobby Newport beat you. Maybe you love Pawnee more than it could ever love you too.”

“Hey, whoh, let’s not say stupid drunk things we can’t take back,” Leslie warned.

“Fine. But if they try to recall you or something, this town’s going down,” Annie got lighter for a minute. “Still, you’ve got at least eight people who love you to death. I know no one will ever love me as much as I love them.”

This triggered Annie’s leftover self-loathing as she continued, “I know I should know who I am too. I know I should know I’m that person from your binder. But I don’t feel like her. You know?”

“I still know you’re too hard on yourself,” Leslie said. “If you’re gonna be me, you can’t keep apologizing for being the best and loving people. You should be proud of that, like I am.”

“And I can’t keep being oblivious when I take it too far,” Annie answered back. “That’s why I keep forgetting there’s more to life than grades. That’s why the way I’ve been with Jeff….” she became reluctant to go on.

“Jeff? What did he do now?” Leslie frowned.

“It’s not what he did. Well, it’s not what he’s done lately,” Annie started. “But the things he did before should have made me know better. That’s why it’s so embarrassing.”

“Let me judge what’s embarrassing for a while,” Leslie volunteered. “Go on, what did you two do?”

Annie didn’t know whether to go on, and didn’t know if she could. “That’s one of those things I’ve never really….talked about with anyone. I mean, they all know what happened. I just couldn’t go into it with them.” Now it became bitterly funny as she chuckled, “That’s the most important relationship of my life. And I’ve never talked about it outside of a Dreamatorium.”

“That’s what I meant to ask Abed about. Stupid distracting Abed Clinton,” Leslie got sidetracked. “Anyway, keep the impressions out and I should focus. Tell me everything and I promise I won’t go anywhere.”

So Annie finally talked in depth with another person, outside of a dream simulation, about her and Jeff. Technically, she really only talked about the worst parts, since those were on her mind the most right now. But as she promised, Leslie didn’t go anywhere – until a few seconds after Annie finished talking.

In the meantime, Jeff was still at the bar and not as drunk as he expected. He felt proud of himself for not looking back at Annie, and not groaning much when Ben talked about caroling with Chris. 

He’d even held his own with Ben when they talked about Spider-Man and Iron Man. But Ben would probably have better arguments when he returned from the bathroom. Until then –

“Hey, Winger!”

Jeff turned to see Ben’s so-called better half. Then he saw a whole bunch of alcohol thrown into his face.

When he wiped his eyes, he saw Leslie grab another shot from a waitress’s tray. Then he briefly saw Annie nearby before Leslie threw her next round at him. “What the hell, Knope?” Jeff groaned as he rubbed his face.

“You thought you could get away with it, huh? Just because I didn’t know Annie when you ignored her, strung her along and made her look delusional, you think I’d let you get away with it? You really don’t know me at all!” Leslie bragged before throwing another shot.

“Hey! You’re making me wish I didn’t know you now!” Jeff lashed.

“If you didn’t know her, I wouldn’t have to know you, so it’s still your fault! And don’t think I don’t know what you told Ron! God, I should have deported you when I had the chance! I could have painted you blue to beat the whole “No deporting white people” law! Don’t think I can’t get the blue paint!” Leslie ranted.

“Leslie?” Ben asked as he returned. “Why are you talking about blue paint this time?”

“And you! You’re gonna have to bend over and shake it big time when we get home,” Leslie warned. “Your new ‘friend’ made my friend feel childish and miserable, because he’s an Eagleton loving, Lil’ Sebastian blaspheming ass! I...hold that thought,” she ordered before marching away.

Ben followed her, but all Jeff could see was Annie. She looked more nervous than upset, but that didn’t register. The wet face, the yelling, the alcohol Jeff actually drank, memories of the past and the miserable present in Pawnee made sure of that. As such, Jeff couldn’t register anything but pent up rage.

“What did you tell her?” Jeff demanded to know. “How did you wreck my life this time? How much lower do you think I can sink?”

Even after everything she relived and told Leslie, Annie still didn’t feel right about that payback. She wanted to apologize – but after seeing Jeff that angry at her, like it was entirely her fault, she couldn’t register anything but rage either.

After all, he tried to make everything all her fault once, and she didn’t fight back well. That wasn’t happening again.

“Don’t tell me about sinking. You made me sink too much already,” Annie challenged. “You’re lucky she didn’t punch you. Hell, you’re lucky I’ve only punched you once!”

“Oh, don’t you tell me about luck. You have no idea how lucky you are! I could have made you the unluckiest little girl in the world, but I didn’t! It’s about time you thanked me for that instead of sending your annoying clone after me!” Jeff demanded.

“Don’t you call her that. She’s more of a friend than you’ve ever been. She didn’t make me act like a stupid schoolgirl for three years!” Annie retorted.

“She didn’t make me stop being a man for four years! You don’t hear me whining about it, though!” Jeff mindlessly responded.

“I’ve listened to you whine too much, Jeff! I want a life that can’t get shattered by you anymore! I’m tired of you keeping it from me because you’re a selfish, stupid jackass! And I’m not gonna forget that anymore!” Annie heatedly said.

“Oh, like I wanted to ruin a nagging girl with a death wish? Who makes you think stupid things you’re too smart to think about? Get real, Jane Austin!” Jeff snipped.

“I will when you stop turning me into a baby! I’m more than your personal toy for ego boosting every few months, Jeff! I thought you thought I was more, but I guess I’m a kid for that too! Well, I’m done drooling and obsessing over you, old man!” Annie drove home.

For the briefest of seconds, Jeff looked like the most shaken man in the world, with Annie not far behind as the most shaken woman. But it was shattered when Jeff impulsively lashed out, “Then why the hell are you still yelling at me?”

“Why the hell did you start yelling at me?” Annie impulsively yelled back.

Slowly but surely, they stopped seeing red. Slowly but surely, they began to realize what they said. Slowly but surely, the anger faded – but it was still vivid enough to make them remember purple pens and clothes being thrown off, for some reason.

The mixture was almost too much to handle, and it was certainly too much to keep yelling. It was too much for them to handle a bunch of emotions right now. Even if they were emotions they’d already held back far too long.

But before they could begin to pick up the pieces, Jeff felt a now familiar sting of alcohol being poured on his head. This time, it was poured on top of his head from right behind him.

“Ha, check and mate for girl power! Tell your Eagleton mini-horse haters about that!” she heard Leslie cheer.

“Wow, best Snakehole stage show ever. Encore,” he heard April say next.

“Sorry April, it’s just a one-time show,” Jeff heard Ben reply. “Ann, you know the drill in getting a worked up Leslie home. Take Annie with you, and I’ll figure out the drill in getting Jeff home, all right?”

Ben shouldn’t have been able to lead Jeff off. Yet even with the distinct height and weight advantage, he let Ben take his arm and lead him away anyway. Ann needed more effort to take Leslie to the other side of the bar, but she seemed to be pulling it off.

When Leslie was far away from Jeff, Ann made Annie snap out of it and come with them too. However, her and Jeff were both still on autopilot.

Their eyes locked on each other once or twice before Jeff got outside. On the outside, they looked blank and emotionless, even when they saw the other.

But Ben saw just enough to figure everything out anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a talk with Jeff after his Christmas argument with Annie, while Annie has one with Leslie.

“So, how long?”

Jeff was in a slightly better condition to hear that than he was this morning. Even that was better than how he felt late last night. Because he drank too much. Obviously.

But he got better by the afternoon, and now Ben was in his motel room checking on him. That was a better alternative than other possible guests. Yet he was risking his lead with that weird question.

“How long what?” Jeff asked for clarification.

“How long have you been in love with Annie?”

Lead forfeited forever.

“Okay, I’m still drunk, I heard that wrong, right?” Jeff tried to scoff off.

“I lived with Andy Dwyer for months. I know when people are too drunk to hear right. You’re not even on April’s level,” Ben informed him. “So how long have you been in love with Annie Edison?”

Jeff had no real answer, because the question was stupid. He didn’t even ask it right.

For all that people assumed about him and Annie, and for all he thought about Annie – to figure out how to prove them wrong – no one ever said he loved her. His brain never even said it, since it was too wrong and weird.

Even if it was taking a while to feel wrong and weird now. But it’d get there. “Did Leslie or Annie make that up too?” Jeff asked quickly.

“I didn’t need their input. You gave it away last night,” Ben stated.

“When I yelled at her for letting your fiancée attack me?” Jeff tried to discredit.

“When you looked at her. When she hurt you with her insults. When you hated that all those insults were probably right. Or when you looked at her and wished you could say something to change her mind. It was somewhere between one of those parts,” Ben said.

“Where the hell did you….if you have mind reading powers, they’re pretty defective. Wouldn’t surprise me in this town,” Jeff joked. But Ben wasn’t laughing.

“Jeff, I’m a grumpy, cynical hard ass who didn’t believe in love three years ago. Now my fiancée is Leslie Knope. Come on, you really think you’re gonna fool me?” Ben questioned.

Jeff kept talking, if only to block his cold logic out. “Yeah, it seems pretty easy if you think that. Look at me, I’m –“

“Too smart to be in love. Especially with a crazy, naïve woman who doesn’t know the first thing about real life. Really?” Ben asked, unimpressed.

“Come on, you took the nuances outta that,” Jeff weakly argued. But he bounced back with, “Besides, does it look like I have time for that garbage? I have better things to do, like – “

“Becoming a lawyer again and getting back to the good life you crashed and burned. Or becoming a politician again to make up for crashing a whole town to the ground. You can’t let some smiling girl who actually likes caring about things mess that up. Even if she totally has and you don’t totally hate it. What else you got?” Ben challenged.

“Again, nuances,” Jeff excused. “I suppose you forgot she’s….well, she was, a teenager? You know how wrong that is?”

“More wrong than dating someone who technically works for you? Who gets approached for a City Council campaign? A campaign that’d have 1 percent approval if you ever got exposed? And then they’d threaten to like a rich idiot more than her?” Ben alluded, whether Jeff got the references or not.

“Yeah, it might take six months to get past that, with actual effort. But I guess dumb popular opinion can be more important than the best person you’ve ever met sometimes. I mean, for some people,” Ben stressed.

“Oh come on, I’m not running for office! I got humiliated with that crap already!” Jeff groaned. “And your best person isn’t a 22-year old who pretends to be your wife in hotels! Got you there!”

“You want to get into role playing with me? And her? You’ve run out of good ideas already?” Ben wondered.

“This whole argument is a bad idea. If you knew me, you’d know that,” Jeff reasoned. “I’m not lame boyfriend material. I’m-“

“A commitment phobe who’s too busy with work to have real relationships. And your parents had the worst marriage ever, so what’s the point of going through that nonsense? Plus you screwed yourself up years ago with the only girl who might have made you think different,” Ben became Abed levels of scary.

“So why would it be different in some crazy place you couldn’t wait to leave? With someone who gets the real you more than those other girls? Or anyone else, really?” Ben asked. “Like I said, some people think it’s worth it to find out and prove it’s not impossible. Especially when she’s totally worth it. Others go another way.”

He didn’t know what he was talking about. Jeff nearly said it out loud because he was too busy saying it in his head. Ultimately, he settled on, “You don’t know….”

“Try me. I’ll let you finish talking this time,” Ben offered.

“It’s evil,” Jeff admitted, faced with no better options than the truth. “It makes me evil, and it’ll turn her evil too. The minute I stop thinking about the consequences, we’re both ruined. You have to trust me on that.”

“What consequences? Like costing her her job and her election, and ruining a life you thought you wanted? A life that doesn’t even seem that great to you anymore? If it’s something like that, I get it,” Ben sympathized. “It may be possible to beat those odds. Even with an election in a town that worships Bobby Newport. But I can see how you think it wouldn’t.”

“You’re damn right you could!” Jeff chose to ignore Ben’s sarcasm. He pretty much had to. “I mean….you heard about the crap I’ve pulled. They must have screamed it in your ear all night.”

“Leslie did most of the yelling, but otherwise you got me there,” Ben now frowned. “And to be honest, once I got it all straight….yeah, those were kind of dick moves.”

“There you go,” Jeff became eager to agree.

“And yet I’m still in favor of you guys. Even if my fiancée isn’t,” Ben said. “At least you didn’t try to get Annie fired, destroy her department and ridicule everything she believes in.”

“Well, I did do the last thing,” Jeff objected ineffectively.

“That’s not to say you didn’t screw up. Or that Annie doesn’t deserve way better,” Ben warned. “I mean, she took on hoarder Leslie and lived! She really is one in a million.”

“Well, marry her then! That would solve everything!” Jeff impulsively shouted, which really didn’t help him out. One knowing glare from Ben confirmed that.

“Not really. You’d still be in love with someone who’ll always be too good for you. And you’ll think you have nothing to offer but screw ups, messed up priorities, and misery you deserve a lot more than she does,” Ben explained.

“You can’t even talk to anyone who might show you what you’re really missing. I know not everyone’s that lucky to get it. No one could be. But maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to come close. It can’t possibly be worse than it is now,” he proposed.

Real misery did seem a bit worse than hypothetical future misery, in hindsight. If it wasn’t 100 percent certain that it couldn’t happen….

No. Jeff was not that stupid. Ben wasn’t supposed to be either. There was only one real reason for that.

“You’re crazy,” Jeff realized. “I thought you were different, but you’re crazy. It’s this town. It can’t let one sane person live. You know what I mean with the horse, you can’t deny!”

“On the horse, yeah. And the Newports and Joan Callamezzo, certainly. But – “ Ben got cut off this time.

“But you’re not going to get me. I still have some common sense and decency left,” Jeff declared. Running on pure impulse, and other things he could analyze later, Jeff got up and started packing.

“If you’ll give me a nice head start, I’ll get away before Chris and Leslie find me,” Jeff reasoned. “Then I’ll just take my last semester at Greendale, like I should have done. I’ll focus on that, Annie will have better things to think about, and then it’s all over.”

“And what excuse will you have not to graduate then?” Ben stopped him in his tracks.

“Not graduate?” Jeff looked confused. “If you knew me, you’d know how dumb that sounds.”

“I do know you. And I know how you got here,” Ben said. “You were one credit away from graduating earlier. You put all that effort into leaving ahead of schedule, and then you fail the one course you needed to pass? Who does that?”

“I’m a lousy student, I accept that,” Jeff explained before he resumed packing.

“No one so desperate to get their old life back gets lousier after four years. No one regresses that much without a good reason. Not Annie, and not you,” Ben guaranteed.

“Here’s a reason, this place is crazy! I want to graduate and stay sane, I can’t do both here! You hate how crazy it is too, you get it,” Jeff reminded him.

“I don’t hate it, Jeff. This is my home,” Ben said very seriously. “It’s the only real home I’ve had in my adult life. It gave me Leslie, even after it almost took her away. You don’t know Pawnee, and you don’t have a right to call it crazy. So leave it alone.”

“If you’re brainwashed, that’s your problem,” Jeff stated.

“You know what? We’re mainstream compared to Greendale, and you know it!” Ben snapped. “We don’t have way too obvious pop culture parodies, talk about alternate timelines and Spanish teachers turned dictators here! If you survived four years of that, why is a few more weeks in Pawnee that unbearable for you? Especially when you can finally leave Greendale and end things with Annie, like you wanted all along?”

“You don’t….when you put it like that…..you’re!” Jeff stammered. First it was young girls who made him lose his gift for arguing, now it was nerdy accountants? What the hell did Pawnee….well, even if Pawnee was just half the reason, what the hell?

“I know a human disaster when I see one. Especially a desperate one too afraid to lose what he has. Even if the greatest things imaginable….things you gave up on wanting and needing a long time ago….are right there. Things too great for even you to ruin forever….especially when you really want to do more than that. For once in your disastrous life,” Ben sighed and turned to the door.

“I thought I was the only Pawnee citizen who understood you. If not the only person who’s in Pawnee right now. But if there’s no chance in hell I’m a little right….have a nice flight,” Ben concluded before leaving the room.

Ironically, he thought Leslie would be proud of his way with words back there. Of course, there was no way in Hell he was telling her he said those words. Not yet, anyway.

So when Ben got back home, he told Leslie he tried to talk to Jeff, and he didn’t know how he took it. Since Annie was still staying over, she heard it all too. But as she had for the last few hours, Annie stayed quiet while Leslie did all the talking and rambling.

“You tried your best. It’s not your fault some people won’t listen to reason. Just not in their genetics, I guess,” Leslie sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure he’ll back off for the rest of his time here,” Ben hinted. Annie looked concerned, so Ben added, “He didn’t say it in words. It’s just a feeling, that’s all,” in hopes she wouldn’t shoot the messenger later.

“We can’t take that chance. He’s enough of a loose cannon already,” Leslie declared. “How the hell could that school send someone like Annie, then send someone like him? Does their screening process only have competent people every other day?”

“I assume you’re gonna call later and find out,” Ben figured.

“Damn right. That Dean’s already got too much to answer for. And he made him look so good when he talked about him. Way too good. Should have tipped me off and creeped me out right there,” Leslie reflected. “But I’m not getting fooled by either of them again.”

“Leslie?” Annie asked quietly.

“Maybe I’ll tell Chris the hazing policy for interns just got approved! Then I’ll send April to supervise him so he doesn’t chicken out. He’ll beg for mercy by New Years,” Leslie figured.

“Leslie?” Annie asked a bit louder.

“Or maybe I’ll lure him to the Lil’ Sebastian memorial. Once he slips up like the heartless jackass he is, the mourners will teach him a lesson for us,” Leslie predicted. “Then again, if he could learn, he’d have graduated by now and we wouldn’t be –“

“Leslie, stop it!”

It certainly wasn’t Ben who yelled that. He could never sound as furious as Annie, especially right now. 

With that, Ben slipped his way to safety in the kitchen, since the two women in the house had no chance of noticing him.

“What? Do you think we need a better plan?” Leslie guessed.

“We do, actually. Stop trashing Jeff. That’s the first good idea I’ve heard since last night,” Annie proposed. “I’m on board, how about you?”

“But, but….you trashed him first! You had every reason to, you told me yourself!” Leslie reminded.

“Well, I was wrong! At least I didn’t give you the whole picture,” Annie corrected. “I’ve gone over and over last night, and there’s one thing I forgot to tell you. All the good things about Jeff that make me….care about him. If I remembered to do that….” she couldn’t finish.

“You said he ignored you for a whole summer after he kissed you. You told me he said you were ‘reading into things.’ You said you embarrassed yourself the last few months because you were still hung up on him! What balances that crap out?” Leslie needed to know.

“He’s the first person who’s ever made me feel special. Really special,” Annie admitted. “Not because I needed A’s to get his approval. Not because I did his work for him. And not because he craved young flesh – no matter what he said later! He just found….me special. Just little old Annie Adderall.”

“Well, come on, a blind person could do that,” Leslie reasoned.

“My parents didn’t. No one in high school did. Even my friends in Greendale don’t sometimes,” Annie admitted. “Okay, so he doesn’t sometimes either. But when he does….I don’t feel like I’m so alone. When he protects me, sticks up for me…..does things for me he’d never do for anyone else….I feel like I’m actually valued. And understood. Until him and you, no one ever gave that to me.”

“And when he doesn’t make you feel that way?” Leslie questioned.

“Then I embarrass myself, I know. But when we’re close, I’ve never felt more….empowered. That even if I fail, at least one person will still believe in me. No one’s ever made me feel that way….so I guess that’s why I get carried away with it. Even when we barely talk,” Annie admitted.

She then focused on Leslie and said, “But that’s my problem. Not yours. Maybe I did need to yell at him. And maybe I wouldn’t have without your….set up. But I know him well enough to have that right. You don’t. Because you don’t know him at all.”

“Hold on, I know – “ Leslie started but wasn’t allowed to finish.

“You just hate him because he praised Eagleton and didn’t worship Lil’ Sebastian. You made up your mind on him before I ever told you about us,” Annie said. “Maybe I made it worse last night, but I’m not doing that anymore.”

“You hate Eagleton and love Lil’ Sebastian too. Don’t tell me you don’t understand where I’m coming from,” Leslie insisted.

“Tom and Donna love going to Eagleton too. I don’t see you trashing them for it,” Annie pointed out. “And they took Ben there to cheer him up while you guys were broken up! I saw the Batman suit in his closet! Does that make him a bad guy too? Or the fact he didn’t love Lil’ Sebastian at first either?”

“Well, he….and they….but he came to his senses!” Leslie defended.

“And he still would have been the man you loved if he didn’t,” Annie played along. “And Jeff is still my….friend. Even if he hurts me or I’m too crazy about him, I still care about him. Too much to let you trash him and make this worse. He’s done too much good for me to let you do that.”

“But….” Leslie tried to regroup. “Isn’t that just putting him on a pedestal? Even if he’s not really that great?”

“You know what? That is a problem I have,” Annie admitted. “I have that with him sometimes. And maybe even with you.”

“But what now?” Leslie was surprised.

“You told me yourself. You were as embarrassing as I am once. Sometimes you still are. I talked to Ann while you were cooling down last night, and she confirmed it for me. She did quite a lot of confirming,” Annie revealed.

“Perkins! That beautiful, flawless rat!” Leslie cursed.

“You know, I make a spectacle of myself all the time. But if I did half the things you’ve done….” Annie admitted. “You’re about 15 years older than me! But you’re still allowed to act crazy and not get called a child for it! Not the way I am! It’s just dumb luck you’re let off the hook for it a lot better. At least better than we’ve let Jeff off the hook.”

“Well….what about them not loving me like I love them? Where did that go?” was the best Leslie had.

“Leslie, you’re still my idol. Hell, your crazy antics and mistakes make me feel better about mine,” Annie confessed. “But I won’t let you judge Jeff from his own mistakes. Not like people do with us. In the big picture….he’s a good man and I wouldn’t be close to being like you without him. He just makes me mad when he isn’t like that….as much as I’ve hoped he’d be.”

She steadied herself and finished, “But that’s something I’ll hopefully work out with him. All you did last night was steamroll right over him. Whether it was right or not, it wasn’t your place to do it.” Leslie didn’t answer, so Annie walked right up to her and showed how serious she was.

“I know you’re still my boss. But I have to order you on this one. Only one of us has a right to be angry at him. And sometimes forget how good he really is. And that’s not you. So leave Jeff Winger alone! All right?!”

Last night reminded Annie all too well that her temper could get the better of her. But it was one thing to lose it at Jeff, since it was overdue and kind of unfair. She never imagined exploding like this at Leslie, however.

Unfortunately, now she could all too easily imagine getting fired or worse, since she technically yelled at her boss.

Since she was in the right, Annie didn’t shrink down in fear right away, but just did it gradually. Yet when she sat back down, she noticed something resembling fear on Leslie’s face as well. Now that was truly weird on her.

“Am I that scary when I tear someone up? That’d be terrifyingly awesome,” she said. Annie still wasn’t sure if she was in the clear, but it seemed Leslie was done yelling back.

She sat back down next to her and talked civilly. “Okay, you got me on a few things. And maybe I should have waited for you to throw drinks first.”

“Maybe’s good,” Annie said, willing to cut her some slack now. “You don’t hate me for yelling at you?”

“No. I can’t hate anyone for yelling today, I guess. And I sure as hell can’t hate you. That’s the whole problem,” Leslie admitted. “I couldn’t stand that someone as amazing as you could get that screwed over. I just wanted someone to stand up for you like you deserve, you know?”

“Yeah. That’s how I felt when you trashed Jeff,” Annie noted. “But you didn’t just wanna trash him because of me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Leslie sighed. “Crazy Leslie acting like a crazy child again, huh? That must make you feel better too.”

“Not like that,” Annie said. “You do act more childish than I do. For the good of Pawnee, I know,” she quickly corrected. “But you always come through like an adult in the end. And people don’t keep holding your childish stuff against you. At least not without friends defending you to the death. I….haven’t gotten all that yet,” she confessed.

“You should have by now,” Leslie wished.

“I know, but that’s the breaks, apparently. And being mad at Jeff, when he barely did anything this time, isn’t going to help me,” Annie accepted.

“Okay, I’ll give you that. I’m sorry,” Leslie brought herself to say.

“There’s someone else we both have to apologize to more,” Annie reminded.

“All right. Let me practice in the mirror and I’ll come with you in….an hour. 40 minutes if I really push through,” Leslie offered.

“You can take your time. There’s no way he’s gonna talk to either of us today,” Annie accepted. “And other than saying I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to say to him. So I might as well wait until I figure it out. I’m sure I’ll have a lot of time.”

“Ah. Well, you’re the Winger expert,” Leslie conceded, then realized something else. “You know, I thought you only liked him because he’s ‘hot’ and ‘muscly’ and his butt is ‘high enough.’ But you just sounded like you like him for….deeper reasons. It didn’t sound like a one sided school girl crush to me.”

“And yet I’ve drooled over the Dean for acting like Jeff. And ignored all the signs he doesn’t really want me that way. Or won’t let himself do it,” Annie admitted. “I can’t daydream it’ll be different anymore. I thought coming here would get my priorities straight. But now I can’t do that unless I make things right with him. Whenever I get the chance.”

However, Annie still laid down the law with Leslie. “But you’re still apologizing to him. No matter when I get to it.” She remembered Ben was around and called out, “Ben, you’re gonna let me know if she gets to it, right?”

“I guess if Ann can get away with being a rat,” Ben answered from the kitchen.

“She has rat seniority, there’s a difference. Remember that!” Leslie called out.

Ben had remembered to do a few other things already. When he saw where the ladies’ debate was going, he remembered to text Jeff with the words “Answer the phone and keep quiet. You’re gonna want to hear this.” Then he remembered to call Jeff and make sure he could quietly hear everything from his phone.

The last thing he remembered now was to hang up and text Jeff, “I thought you’d like that. Now figure out what you want to do about it. That’s the last leg up you’re getting from me.”

Just before he headed back to the living room before the ladies got suspicious, he got a text back. “Got it. Just one more leg up and I’ll be good.”

When Ben found out what that leg up was, and eventually gave it to him, it took a few more hours until Jeff used it. But that night, as Ben and Leslie were watching the news, Leslie got a call on her cell.

Now that Jeff had Leslie’s number, the next step was talking to her without getting his head bit off, even from her house. But there was no way around the risk now. “Hello, Leslie?” Jeff tried to start politely.

“Damn it, I thought I’d have more time,” he heard quietly. Jeff wouldn’t give away that he heard her or knew exactly what he was talking about. He’d already thrown Ben under the bus just by calling her. “Hello, Jeffrey. This is Leslie Knope from City Council, formerly of the Parks Department.”

“So I figured when I called you,” Jeff said.

“Yes, of course. So what can I….nope. I gotta do this now before you make me take it back,” Leslie resolved. “It’s come to my attention that I….might have been slightly unfair to you last night.”

“When you came out of nowhere and threw drinks in my face? No,” Jeff instinctively went into sarcasm.

“It didn’t come out of nowhere, and you know it. Not after what….damn it, that’s what I get for letting you talk!” Leslie groaned. Jeff then figured he’d have to be the bigger man first, if he had any hope with the harder stuff.

“I get it. Some of it was a long time coming. I’ve known that for a while. I’ll apologize for that, but last night and only last night….that’s a grayer area,” Jeff admitted.

“Not if you admit you had it coming, right?” Leslie tried to reason. But after a pause, Jeff heard her sigh resignedly. “I know, I know. I was mad at you for other legitimate stuff too. That cancels it out just enough. Lucky for you.”

With that, Leslie bit the bullet and said, “I’m sorry I attacked you with delicious alcohol. And with a couple other things. Maybe you deserved to be yelled at, but….it’s Annie’s place to do that, not mine. She’s earned that more than me.”

She added, “I just hated hearing about you hurting her like that. I know I hated other things too, but that was the last straw. I couldn’t stand that someone made her feel hurt, alone and not like the prime minister she really is. So I went….further than I would have if I was thinking straight.”

“I know exactly how that feels. You don’t have to believe me, but I do,” Jeff confessed. “That’s why I’m going to make this right.”

“Well, she’s not here, if that’s why you’re calling,” Leslie informed.

“I know. But I need a few things from you before I see her again,” Jeff proposed, but went on before she could agree or disagree. “I’m sure you know her birthday’s in two days. I’m pretty sure you’ve got some big party or event planned already.”

“I got thrown off schedule today. But I should have the last 20 percent worked out by tomorrow,” Leslie promised.

“Well, I need you to push it back until that night. And I need you to give her that whole day off. Please,” Jeff added to sweeten the deal.

“The whole day?” Leslie gasped. “Your big plan is to push back parties and keep her from working?”

Jeff heard Leslie suck in her breath and mutter, “Couldn’t ease me into it, could you?” but she finally relented and said out loud, “Fine, I’ll do it. But it’d better be for something better than work and cake. If that’s even possible.”

“That’s the idea,” Jeff stated. “In fact, I think it’s something even you’d give me approval for.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff lets Annie take him on a tour of Pawnee for her birthday.

Annie couldn’t figure out how to approach Jeff on December 27. Luckily or not, Leslie had more than enough work for her on their first day back at City Hall. Jeff didn’t approach her either, so Annie figured he still needed to cool down.

In any case, December 28 was not the day to think about it. If there was ever an acceptable day to stop thinking about other people, it was her birthday.

Yet as Annie walked to City Hall, it got harder not to think of Leslie when she was standing at the front door. But she didn’t mind that quite yet.

“Starting the festivities already?” Annie asked with a smile.

“No, not yet. You’ve got a big day of work first,” Leslie promised. “I was gonna give you the day off, but I had a better idea.”

“Anything sounds better than a day off to you,” Annie reminded, choosing to be touched that she almost let her take off.

“Well, this is huge. Something’s been bugging me lately, but there’s a real chance to fix it. And I can’t think of anyone who could do it better than you. I know I can’t do it, so….” Leslie stopped.

Annie was confused for a number of reasons. But doing something that even Leslie couldn’t would make this a pretty big birthday. She could be overly competitive on her birthday, right?

“Okay, what is it? Am I gonna take down Jamm once for all? Do I have to go to Eagleton?” She then gasped and feared, “Am I your Trojan horse to take down the library? Um…..I might not be the right person for that job.”

“You think I’d let Tammy 2 within 1,000 feet of you? It should be illegal before New Years, don’t worry,” Leslie sighed. “Actually, this wasn’t all my idea. I’ll let the guy who figured it out take it from here.”

Leslie went to open the City Hall door – and who should appear but him. And Leslie wasn’t even slamming the door in his face.

“All right, you do whatever she says,” Leslie told Jeff. “I expect her back by 9, is that clear?”

“Consider her curfewed,” Jeff said with a straight face. Leslie even went back inside with no eye rolling. What the hell was going on?

Whatever the answer, Jeff was near Annie for the first time in 36 hours. Annie needed a few more to be prepared, but that wasn’t happening thanks to Leslie. Just how well did that apology go?

“I’m still alive, so it went well enough,” Jeff answered Annie’s brain. When Annie realized she also asked that with her mouth, she got herself straight. She’d have to say the main bullet points and go from there.

“Jeff, I’m sorry,” Annie said first and foremost. “I gave Leslie the wrong idea about….our history. Mainly by leaving some things out. We wouldn’t have said those awful things if I didn’t, so….I’ll take the heat on this one.”

There it was. Heartfelt while falling just short of rambling. She took the high road about Jeff being the first one to yell, so that had to appeal to him. He wasn’t yelling or frowning yet, so that bode well.

“You learned that from the best,” Jeff got her off guard. Was he talking about taking the heat, or something….more revealing?

“Need the ego boost even now, huh?” Annie surprised herself by joking. Yet when Jeff laughed, it felt kind of good – they hadn’t done that together since they got here. They hadn’t even had the chance.

“I really am sorry. You didn’t even do anything to set me off. Heck, we’ve barely talked for two weeks,” Annie realized.

“Luckily I have a way to set all that straight,” Jeff assured. “Call it a punishment and a birthday present wrapped in one.” He then gestured at the whole of Pawnee and said, “Pawnee. Wow me.”

“Are you talking to the town, Jeff?” Annie asked weirdly.

“I’m talking to its biggest fan,” Jeff gestured to Annie. “We haven’t talked because you’ve been head over flats for this place. I’ve been grouchy for weeks because I’m….less in love with it. So what better way to punish me, than to have you drag me around Pawnee all day?”

“I’m sure there are a few. Can’t think of any now,” Annie said, out of confusion more than a lack of ideas.

“It’s perfect. If you still think this is all your fault, listening to me whine should be good payback. Then again, a whole day of educating me about your new favorite town….that could be an okay birthday gift for you, right?” Jeff proposed.

“In some crazy theory….” Annie trailed off while thinking about it.

“If you managed to win me over, it’d be a big get for Pawnee. Leslie seems to think you can do it. You wouldn’t want to let her down, right?” Jeff drove home. “I even have my guide book.”

Annie now noticed Jeff was carrying something, which looked an awful lot like the book “Pawnee: The Greatest Town In America,” written by Leslie Knope. 

“I would have asked for your copy, but I’m sure there’s too many notes and markers on it,” Jeff said while pointing at Annie’s purse.

“Well, there’s still a few unmarked pages,” Annie shrugged off, patting the book in her purse. But she composed herself and added, “Did Leslie put you up to this? I told her to just apologize to you, nothing else.”

“I know. This was all me. I just needed her to give you the job,” Jeff revealed.

“The job of….” Annie took it all into account. “Jeff, you….you can’t want to spend the entire day with me. Not here.”

“It’s not my first choice for a day with you, but it’s the best I’ve got. You want me to be happier about it, be a good tour guide. Halfway great would work better, though,” Jeff warned.

“Haven’t you seen most of the sights already?” Annie nitpicked.

“I went out of my way not to. Even timing Chris’s runs seemed more fun. And nothing else that means anything,” Jeff stressed. “The places I did go to….I’ll bet they’re more tolerable the second time. At least with you hyping them.”

Annie wouldn’t know where to begin hyping. Or do anything else at the moment. At least anything that wouldn’t blow up in her face. She felt all kinds of pressure and a hint of guilt tripping from this, and that’s something she’d didn’t need for her birthday.

What was the best case scenario, anyway? Something that’d make her feel stupid and babyish later on for even wanting it?

The whole thing just made Annie too tired. She could overthink to her heart’s content, but for once, that didn’t seem appealing today. It’d be nice to actually relax.

Relax by spending the day exploring and revisiting a town she’d fallen in love with. Relax by teaching someone how great it was. Relax by spending the first real, quiet time to herself with Jeff in….maybe ever.

It suddenly sounded so good, she said, “Let’s just take a walk first. I’ll point out stuff along the way,” without a set plan or even a binder made up in her head.

Eventually, Annie brought some order back by taking out her copy of Leslie’s book. Thankfully, the first chapter “24 Hours In Pawnee” was the best possible guide.

Unfortunately, they missed a 6:30 a.m. breakfast at J.J’s hours ago, and it was too late and too far to get to the Battle of Indian Hill site by 9:30. And she knew Jeff wouldn’t be fond of visiting the Sweetums factory and all its calories – even if Annie could trust herself around the people that almost defeated Leslie.

So perhaps even a Leslie Knope guide had some flaws. But Annie could work around that.

Instead of touring Sweetums, Annie drove Jeff to the Kernston’s Rubber Nipple Factory. She knew it’d give Jeff way too much room to be immature, but at least it was an ice breaker. In any case, she paid him back for his worst jokes by taking him to J.J.’s, and insisting he at least try a sugary waffle.

With her connection to Leslie, the J.J’s staff had no problem helping Annie. But she mercifully let Jeff take just two bites inside, then ordered the rest to go so they could finish eating at Harvey James Park. After all, she wanted to show off the parks that launched Leslie’s career.

Since it was winter, Annie knew only the southern end was safe from the rule of raccoons. She kept her ears open, while Jeff tried miserably to hide that he liked waffles. When he actually finished a full one with a dab of whipped cream, Annie let him go on thinking she didn’t notice.

The two spent the rest of their lunch watching kids play in the park. Some of them even had parents with them. As always, Annie felt a tinge of envy – but unlike always, Jeff didn’t hide his quite as perfectly.

Annie willed herself not to bring it up, since this wasn’t the time for heart to hearts that wouldn’t work. It never was. Besides, she owed Jeff a way to work off those sinful waffle calories.

As such, she took him to the local bowling alley – naturally, the one where Ben punched an anti-Leslie voter who used an unpleasant b-word. Before she thought too much about a man doing that for his lady – especially in front of Jeff – Annie let her competitive edge take over for a while.

It was certainly happy when Annie started bowling underhand midway through the match. But when she got strikes on the last seven frames, and on the first five frames of the next match, she forced herself to give Jeff some slack before he punched someone. Technically, he should have been giving her breaks on her birthday, but she wanted Jeff to still like her – and Pawnee – at the end of the day.

The fact that she only beat Jeff by a little in the end may or may not have helped. Nevertheless, she calmed him down by taking him to Spa-nee.

Now that he wasn’t so inclined to hate Pawnee’s spas for not being Eagleton’s, he could relax, enjoy a full treatment and erase all evidence of his lunch binge. Annie then took him through the rest of Pawnee’s shopping monuments, and Jeff seemed to be even less disappointed by the end.

She got bold enough to take a chance and go to some historical sites, teaching Jeff about Pawnee’s unique history. By the sixth site of an Indian massacre and sacrifice to Zorp the Reasonabilist God, she stopped wanting to throw up.

In a greater precedent, Annie even stopped reading Leslie’s book to figure out where to go. She just drove Jeff through town, stopped at whatever struck her fancy, and kept going the more she realized Jeff wasn’t bored. At the least, he was hiding it better than she’d ever seen, so perhaps that was another birthday gift.

Content wise, it was boring when it wasn’t showing horrible history. But the more Jeff saw Annie talk about it – and the more she didn’t call him out on liking those ab-ruining waffles – the less he started to mind. The facials and the semi-trendy ties helped a bit too. Yet the rest didn’t make much sense.

It shouldn’t have been tolerable to lose at bowling, or learn about history – especially after the history class they’d suffered through. But the more he saw Annie get swept away by it, the less he wanted to burst her bubble.

It was like they were back at Greendale. Like it was when she made him do other things he didn’t want to do. Like make an effort, defend a friend, care about ethics and forget why certain things were off limits to him. All the things he wound up hating again hours later, like he was supposed to do – but forgot to do while she was near him.

He hadn’t felt like that in a while around her. He hadn’t really had the chance. That should have made Jeff feel relieved. But he certainly would have come to his senses in Greendale by now.

Yet this wasn’t Greendale. He felt the same way he did in these situations back at Greendale….but it was different around here. Less….judgy. Ironic for a town that hated Eagleton, health food and library books so much.

But as long as Jeff didn’t bring those things up, this place felt almost….accepting. No matter what sarcastic comments he made, rules he broke and fits he pitched after missing a 7-10 split. The people may have been annoyed, but they still went out of their way whenever he needed something.

Were they trying to impress Annie so she’d put in a good word with Leslie? Were they on the same pills the City Hall people were on to put up with Chris and Jerry?

If it was pills?

That unlikely thought kept Jeff quiet as Annie drove them to a bar and grill for dinner. The place was actually pretty packed for some kind of show, but a table finally opened up. They heard something about a woman passing out from too much excitement, yet Jeff didn’t want to nitpick their luck – and Annie wanted to at least make an effort to go drool free.

After the appetizers came in, they introduced the big act of the evening – a saxophone player named Duke Silver.

Annie didn’t squeal like others did when he came out and started playing. She was too busy trying to make out his hat-covered face, and how familiar it looked. “Is that…..that’s Mr. Swanson, isn’t it?” Annie realized.

“What? No way, you must be seeing things,” Jeff figured.

“No, I recognize that mustache. I know you do too. That’s….oh my God, wow,” Annie gasped incredulously.

“Annie, I do know that mustache. It was almost my gateway to sanity in Pawnee. And there’s no way that belongs to Ron Swanson,” Jeff remained convinced. “The idea of him doing that is too ridiculous. Not you, just the idea,” he corrected.

“I know it’s a stretch, but that looks so much like him,” Annie insisted.

“Well, trust me, it couldn’t be. You’re lucky I tanked history class and was here to set you straight,” Jeff concluded.

There was no real reason for Jeff to mention history class, let alone tanking it. But without thinking, he just said it out loud to Annie – the one person least likely to let it slide.

It was clear on Annie’s face that she wasn’t letting it slide. After all, she’d had no chance to question him about failing since he actually failed. This was her chance to finally ask how the hell Jeff screwed up, just like Ben did – only far worse.

Yet Annie fought every instinct she had not to. Today had been too peaceful to drag down with another argument. Despite two weeks worth of questions building up, Annie kept eating her bread so she wouldn’t talk to Jeff. But it wasn’t like she hid anything.

She was saying nothing and everything all at once – both in her obvious confusion over Jeff’s failure, and her obvious effort to not ruin the evening. Not that there would have been an evening if….

And then everything got really funny.

Since Annie was the only other guest not enraptured by Duke Silver, Jeff’s laughter didn’t have an audience. The audience of one was big enough, however. “What’s going on?” Annie asked as simply as she could muster.

“Just something funny,” Jeff got out. “My head comes up with funny things. I’ve spent four years making sure you knew that. But sometimes it takes the cake.”

Before he knew it, he elaborated, “Like this funny thought after I failed the class. This crazy idea that….I was happy I failed. That I wanted to stay at Greendale longer. That part of me tanked the whole class on purpose. But it was so not funny, I stormed to Pelton’s office then and there and took the first extra credit he had! Now I’m here laughing about it, with you, because of that!”

At that point, Jeff forced his laughter, if only to avoid realizing what he’d told her for a few more seconds. “Classic Winger, isn’t it? I mean, I screwed myself over, so that’s the definition of classic Winger! At least I can give Dad credit for that too!”

Now there was absolutely no reason to mention that. Especially since Jeff never even thought of it that way until now. Not that he knew of. But now that it was out there and it actually sank in, it wasn’t funny anymore.

When the laughter stopped, Jeff stopped making any other sounds. He didn’t want to hear anything, especially his own thoughts. So he distracted himself from thinking by watching Annie – irony of all ironies.

Yet again, she seemed to be struggling not to talk. Both of them knew she’d like nothing more than to get into this. But both of them also knew it was iffy Jeff would answer her.

No matter how open he’d been, they both knew he hadn’t been in his right mind. Now that he was gathering himself, they both knew he wouldn’t be eager to go further – especially after mentioning his dad. But if Annie tried anyway, they both knew Jeff would be likely to lash out, make her look stupid and naïve for trying, and the whole night – if not the rest of their time in Pawnee – would be ruined.

This whole day was meant to save that. Now just because Jeff couldn’t keep certain things in – or finally realize them when he was alone – it was on life support. But as certain truths kept hitting him – visibly at that – he knew Annie wouldn’t bite her tongue for long.

There was only one hail mary pass left. One so desperate, Jeff had never willingly tried it in his life.

But if he was going to try it in front of anyone….at least it was her.

So Jeff Winger made history. For the first time, he shared his deepest problems to someone not linked with psychiatry. Without even being nagged or asked first.

“It’s only been a month since I saw him,” Jeff tentatively opened. “Don’t get me wrong, I said everything I needed to say to him. But the thing I’ve thought about the most from Thanksgiving is….our dinner. At Greendale. That’s when I really let myself accept just how….valuable you all are to me.”

Then he went right for it and added, “And how it was all gonna go away a month later.”

When Annie did the math and got what he meant, she felt safe enough to speak. “Jeff, you weren’t going to lose us when you graduated. You know we’re too clingy to let that happen.”

“I would know, wouldn’t I?” Jeff admitted. “Even if that’s right, the life I had that gave me you guys would be gone. Then I’d just have an old life back that….never let me have you in the first place. So maybe, just maybe….some crazy part of me tried to put that off a while longer. By being extra douchy and lazy and all.”

“That would explain how lazy you were with our essay,” Annie accepted.

“And why I blew the final exam. It all makes such sick sense. Between finally seeing him and being on the brink of losing you….no wonder I was so messed up this whole month. Hell, why else would I go nuts enough to come here, over my break, to start with?” Jeff reasoned.

Annie didn’t have an answer. In fact, she didn’t even think before she responded. If she had, she might not have said it, or at least waited to say it at a better time.

Instead, she asked then and there, “Is that why you didn’t do anything? After my song?”

None of them needed further clarification. But Annie still added, “Even when you were mad at me or ignored me, you would have destroyed the professor for….what I let him do. But –“ As she got more uncomfortable finally talking about it, and with the timing of it, she backed off and said, “I’m sorry. This isn’t about me.”

She was apologizing for bringing up that she was touched by a pervert. Was that what it had come to? Was that what Jeff had let it come to?

He wanted to say that he wanted to destroy Cornwalls. He wanted to say that he was so outraged for what happened to Annie, he ignored it so he wouldn’t go crazy. He wanted to say he’d been blocking out what she sung about for a whole month, just so he wouldn’t be consumed by it.

But it wouldn’t be the truth. The truth was that he was too self-obsessed with his own problems to give it more than a second thought. That would be awful to say, though – even if Annie didn’t already know it.

“I don’t know why I didn’t touch him for touching you,” Jeff settled on. That wasn’t nearly enough, but that was the only explanation he had. Once there was no way around that, he muttered, “God damnit,” at himself and took a drink.

Instead of taking several more and tuning everything out, however, he asked, “Why didn’t you come to me? Before you got desperate enough to ‘talk’ to him about your grades? I could have….”

“In your state of mind, could you?” Annie asked, knowing now more than ever the answer was no.

“I could have tried,” Jeff tried to convince the both of them.

“I don’t know,” Annie backed up. “I mean, if you’d talked to me earlier about your problems…..I might not have been able to help you. I mean, with the grades, forensics, and….”

“Drooling over the Dean’s homage to me?” Jeff blurted out. He wasn’t supposed to give away that he knew that, but it almost didn’t surprise him by now.

As he expected, Annie gasped in fear, but then worked it out and figured, “Shirley said before we left that she never told you. Then…” She gasped again and groaned, “Wyatt!”

“For a boring numbers guy, he can be pretty reckless,” Jeff attempted to joke to save face.

“Forget him! You heard….” Annie trailed off and put her hands over her face. “Oh God. You must be so embarrassed.”

“About being so sexy that even doppledeaners of me drive women crazy? Does that sound like me?” Jeff vainly tried to get back on familiar territory. But it didn’t sound right, even before the unfortunate doppledeaner joke.

“About me being stupid about you!” Annie groaned. “I promise I’m trying to get better, that’s part of why I’m here. I know there’s….and you….” At that point, Annie just stopped talking to save her dignity.

Jeff had other reasons to keep quiet – although there was a lot he could say.

He could say he didn’t just hear about her school girl crush moments yesterday. He could say just how it felt to hear someone defend him the way she did to Leslie. He could say just how much more….memorable it was that this someone was Annie. That it made weeks, months – if not years – of anxiety and other conflicting emotions melt away, if only for a few moments.

She could finally know she wasn’t the crazy, lovesick, stupid one. Not compared to him. She could know just how much she did for him.

But instead, in true Jeff Winger form, he half-assed it.

Albeit in a much better way than usual.

“Did you feel like a school girl today?” he got the idea to ask. “If you’re that crazy over me, spending the whole day together….well, that must have made it worse. Is that what I did by making you drag me around today?”

“No, you didn’t do that,” Annie insisted. Then when she thought about it, she realized it was actually true. “You really didn’t. I felt….kind of normal.”

“Because we were spending real time together,” Jeff realized at the same time. “The only time you act swoony when we talk is in our ‘awkward’ moments. Or when I find a pre-lunch shirt that’s working. But when we talk like normal people….”

“And actually share things like normal people….we feel okay,” Annie finished. “I mean, maybe I feel okay. I can’t speak for you. I mean, maybe you were just being nice. A part of you must have been freaked out by what you heard.”

“Did I freak out when I heard about Mrs. Winger?” Jeff remembered.

“No. But that was weird enough on its own,” Annie thought.

Jeff had a feeling it wasn’t, while Annie insisted on telling herself it was. She preferred to focus on their earlier revelation – the one that made her look and feel normal. “Do you feel okay? Talking about these things with me? I know you’re not a huge fan of sharing,” she reminded.

“It’s not my favorite thing,” Jeff recalled. “Britta dragged me kicking and screaming into it with my dad. The rest of you do it on a daily basis. But….you didn’t do it just now.” As he thought on, he remembered, “It doesn’t feel like that when I open up to you.”

“And I don’t feel lovesick when I open up to you,” Annie repeated. “You don’t like opening up, and I don’t have anyone to open up to. Not like I did with Leslie. But it’s still the same.” She paused and reflected, “I almost told her the only person I’ve ever felt that safe with is you. And look at us.”

Annie muttered, “Look at us,” again once they were quiet long enough. At that iteration, she felt a Leslie Knope-esq desire to take charge. “Jeff, you haven’t tried to tank at work here, have you? Other than hating Chris?” she asked.

“I haven’t sabotaged myself in work,” Jeff meant, deciding not to count his running away plan outside of work yesterday.

“If you’re tempted, I want you to talk to me. I didn’t get to talk you down at Greendale. It can’t be any worse trying in Pawnee,” Annie figured.

“Well, you haven’t lectured me about tanking classes and throwing away grades yet. Maybe it won’t be so bad when you stop holding it in,” Jeff said.

“Jeff, I tried to get our Spanish grades thrown out so I wouldn’t lose everyone. And that was in our first year. Trust me, I have no place to lecture you,” Annie stated.

“Okay then, how did you do it? That should help me,” Jeff worked out. “How are you so calm about losing everyone now?”

“You think I’m that calm? Do you know me at all?” Annie semi-joked. “I’m just better at hiding it. And much less selfish. I don’t have to be because I know I won’t really lose you now. Or anything you guys taught me. At least not permanently,” she corrected. But she sighed and added, “It’s easier to remember that when I’m not in fantasy land.”

Jeff got the thinly veiled reference, and was tempted to correct it with proper context again. This time, Annie stopped him by going on, “I’m tired of fantasies. And living in fear. And wanting stuff I know I’m not gonna get. If I don’t feel that when we’re just….”

Annie barreled on after that little stumble. “I wanted a lot of things when I came here. I got a few of them already. But now what I really want is my bes-“ She caught herself from revealing and wanting more, then finished, “I want my friend back. I’ve kind of missed him lately.”

“Me too,” Jeff blurted out. He could have meant he missed a bunch of things. And he suspected he meant every single one.

But he certainly meant it when he said, “I’m sorry I bit your head off at the Snakehole. Even if you’re hogging the heat.”

Annie gave her first real chuckle and answered, “It means a lot to hear it anyway.”

Especially when there were still more serious, older things he never apologized for. Even if Annie didn’t remember, Jeff certainly did now. It might have made him keep the apologies going, had their dinner not finally arrived.

With the bell and the thankfully yummy food saving them, Jeff and Annie had no more apologizes or confessions. But even when they ate in silence, it felt almost comforting now. Their stomachs were getting fuller, but they weren’t also stuffed with knots anymore. And with Duke Silver’s sax playing in the background, it almost felt….intimate.

Of course, the mood was somewhat broken when the music stopped, and Annie insisted on getting a closer look at the star. But when Duke Silver walked by and Annie almost called him “Mr. Swanson,” Jeff stopped her and apologized, telling him she thought he was someone they knew.

From behind his hat, it almost looked like Duke gave a tiny nod to him. Yet Jeff just walked away and led Annie off before she pushed her insane theory further. Fortunately, Annie’s stubborn grumbling faded by the time she drove them back to April and Andy’s house.

With their time today almost over, Annie remembered one last piece of work as they parked. “So should I tell Leslie today was a success? Are you a fan of Pawnee now?” she asked.

“Tell her….I can put up with it a few more weeks. Without the running commentary,” Jeff offered as a compromise. “That’ll be my extended birthday and New Year’s gift to you. Not trashing your new favorite place.” Annie smiled at the semi-thoughtful gesture, until she thought over the last part.

“It’s still not Greendale, though,” Annie said. “Pawnee has Leslie Knope, but it doesn’t have my school. Or all my friends. Right now, it just has one of the only people who’d go all out to make my birthday special. Not all of them. As nice as Pawnee is, I can’t forget it’s not my home. No matter how much work piles up.”

“Home’s kind of overrated. There’s a case for that,” Jeff quickly claimed. When he fully saw what he was claiming, he forced himself to add out loud, “There’s things you can do here that….you wouldn’t have the guts to do at home. Not around people and places you know. Then you pull it off here and….”

“And what?” Annie asked, lighter than she would have normally wished.

“I haven’t had a day like this in a really long time. And it wasn’t supposed to be about me,” Jeff brought himself to tell Annie. “I did kind of hope….after Thanksgiving….I might have days like that. But….” He made himself come to his senses – his regular senses, anyway – and scoff, “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“I won’t tell anyone. Not even Leslie,” Annie offered with a smile. “I promise.”

Jeff had been overwhelmed multiple times today. But he knew this was something else entirely.

All day he’d been the complete pansy he’d mocked for over 25 years. He should have scolded himself for being that stupid and childish in public, and even in private right now.

But Annie didn’t make him feel that way. Like he was stupid to feel things his lousy childhood taught him not to feel. She didn’t mock him or use it against him – although she hadn’t had a chance to Disney eye him yet. But even then….

He almost dared to feel….safe. Accepted. Like no matter how messed up or screwed up he felt, it’d be okay. Like a word or a smile from her would make it okay – or at least a hell of a lot easier to live with. Even thinking something that lame and….not Jeff Winger wasn’t so awful, once he saw her with that supporting, understanding look in her eyes.

The level of understanding was multiplied tenfold for Annie as she looked at Jeff. There was no impulse to swoon or twirl her hair or daydream about Mr. Winger. All she felt was the unfamiliar sensation of being….on the same level with another person. With someone just as afraid, alone and living on as much false bravado as she was.

That’s hardly the stuff of school girl fantasy. He was deeper and more important than that. And Annie didn’t want him to forget it – like he wouldn’t have let her forget it a month ago if he had the chance. Somehow, that knowledge was the best gift he could have given her.

Annie at least owed him a hug for that, which she gave in full. “This was the best birthday I ever had. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Milady,” she barely heard Jeff answer. But the hug he gave back spoke louder words like, “I missed you too.”

If she let it go on for a few more seconds, she would have thought about kissing him. But she wanted to keep this birthday perfect – and ignore the misguided feeling that kissing would make it more perfect. Even for him too.

Thankfully she broke off and got out of the car before thinking that. Of course, she then remembered that she should have dropped Jeff of at the motel; especially since she was still his ride. But maybe a few minutes of rest first wouldn’t be so bad.

Then Annie opened the front door and heard a commotion. But not the usual Andy and April commotion.

“Surprise!” Leslie led the chant inside, along with all her friends. However, one lone “Finally!” could be heard from April.

Annie really had been too distracted to see this coming. Even Jeff forgot all about it, and he was in on it – despite getting her there 20 minutes late. Not counting their bonding time in the car.

In any case, Jeff came out of the car, watched Leslie hug Annie and bring her inside. She wasn’t even able to look back at Jeff, but she had better things to watch now. And Jeff had to find some kind of ride, apparently.

“You coming in?” Jeff suddenly heard, then noticed Leslie back outside. “Annie might need some help giving her report.”

“Really? That’s the excuse you’re going with?” Jeff questioned.

“Five more minutes of being late might have helped. But here we are,” Leslie shrugged. “Come on, Ron’s running late too, so you should be fine.”

Jeff looked inside, seeing Annie surrounded by Leslie’s people – people who didn’t make the best first impression on him. But this seemed to be a day for second impressions.

With that, Jeff finally felt fine enough to brave this particular Pawnee storm again. Provided he didn’t think harder about Ron being late.

Somehow, everyone was fine enough to go into work the next morning. Annie didn’t see Jeff on her way in, but they all probably needed time to recover. At least letting him recover from a night like that would be stress free.

She busied herself with some paperwork at her desk, until she got a text message. For the first time since she came here, she had gotten a text message from Jeff during work. “So how’s the post birthday girl?” he had written.

“Being 22 isn’t horrible so far, thanks,” she wrote back.

“Could have started better, though. Your last present came late, but it should be here now,” Jeff typed for some odd reason.

Annie frowned in thought until she heard a knock on her door. If it just was Leslie jumping out with another “Surprise!” at least she included Jeff this time.

But when she opened up, she actually was surprised. No one even needed to yell the word.

Well, Pierce still did. But Annie was too busy looking at him, Shirley, Dean Pelton, Britta, Troy and Abed to notice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the study group arrives in Pawnee.

Annie couldn’t ask questions right now. All she had the power to do was hug her long gone friends and tell them she missed them. But after her second hug three-way with Troy and Abed – and Dean Pelton beating Pierce in calling it that – she finally asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Okay, here’s the deal. Jeff may claim he asked us to come here. And Gilbert claimed he’d pay for our rooms here instead of me. And they’ll technically say we argued too long to catch our flight on your birthday. All lies! My monthly allowance paid for your best birthday gift ever, not his!” Pierce argued.

“Now a whole day of that, and spending New Years away from my other family, is gonna be worth it. But I know that’s a given,” Shirley said pointedly to Annie.

“Cleaning up after Pierce? Home sweet home indeed,” they heard Jeff say before seeing him too. Since this was Jeff, there were less bone crunching hugs and sentimental words in this reunion – from anyone but Dean Pelton, of course. But everyone else’s bones were okay with that after Annie’s hug attack.

When Troy, Abed and Shirley couldn’t block the way anymore, Jeff got into position so that the Dean only hugged his side. He blocked his arms over his abs and said, “Quite a welcome from someone who wasn’t….well, invited is the best word.”

“And if Miss Knope hadn’t brought me back to them instead, I might have thought the worst,” Dean Pelton said, patting his arms – whether they were his targets or not. “But if you did have home sick madness, it looks all better now.”

“It was,” Jeff said as he saw Leslie and Ben arrive. “Couldn’t let me off the hook that much, could you?”

“Couldn’t forget not everything’s about you forever, could you?” Leslie answered.

“I have a better memory, let me show you!” Annie broke in to get her post-birthday back on track. “Leslie, Ben, this is the rest of my study group. Britta, Shirley, Pierce, Troy and Abed.”

“The famous Abed, huh?” both Leslie and Ben said in unison.

“The President Carter fans, huh?” Troy and Abed said together right back.

“So you’re the big feminist in this town, eh?” Britta said by herself to Leslie. “I hope for Annie and her new sisters’ sake, it wasn’t a hollow victory.”

“Well, I hope your hope is rewarded,” Leslie replied, unusually uncomfortable around a fellow feminist.

“I must say, you’re good at giving hope back, trust me,” Dean Pelton said as he finally took a tiny step back from Jeff.

“I am when I need to go over our program with you. And review a few other things,” Leslie added.

“Oh God, Jeffrey’s shadow has a body count even in winter, doesn’t it? I knew I should have warned you, but letting him go was hard enough!” the Dean mourned.

“No no, he’s been….a little less deadly lately. And Annie’s a dream. But before I say Greendale’s a dream too, there’s some things we need to have a very….long….talk about,” Leslie said slowly and seriously.

As Annie got exactly what that meant, Leslie asked, “Do I need to talk to anyone else? They might need to hear this too, remember?”

Annie remembered, and part of her wanted them to remember it too. But lecturing her own birthday presents on not caring about Cornwallis’s hands, or Annie’s feet, sounded too ugly for a post-birthday party.

Still, if Leslie had to vent on Annie’s behalf at someone….technically the Dean was an unplanned bonus gift. “I think they can get the gist of it later. Let them have fun now,” she ruled. “Go and have your meeting with the Dean. But no drinks! It’s….too early for drinks.”

“Oh, all right. Don’t say that in front of Ron, though. He was weird enough around you last night,” Leslie stated. “All right, come on, Dean. Let’s go to my office and review a few….things we might have really missed.”

“You’re sure you don’t need a witness? Or someone to record it?” Jeff asked.

“I don’t think it’s that safe for you yet. Let’s leave it at that this time,” Leslie warned. Jeff sighed, but stayed behind while Leslie led the Dean to his own slaughter.

“Was anyone else confused? Where the hell is blonde Annie’s rack?” Pierce asked.

“Okay, let’s get you set up first. I know a guy named Jerry that would love to show you around. Let’s find him very, very quickly for you….well, that was probably historic,” Ben said before leading Pierce away and trying not to make any fists.

Jeff and Annie were left behind again, together with their study group for the first time in weeks. Annie was the first to snap out of it, stating, “All right! Let’s give you guys the full Pawnee experience!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Of course, since Annie and Jeff still had work, the fullest Pawnee experience they could give at the moment was a City Hall tour. After the third mural of a menstruating woman being attacked in the woods by bears, Britta went off on her own.

Then she wound up finding a copy of the town charter. It was easier because the man that supervised all women who read it was in the bathroom. But he didn’t come back by the time Britta stormed to Leslie’s office.

She passed Dean Pelton, who was sitting in the halls and virtually catatonic after Leslie ‘met’ with him. Britta was the polar opposite as she demanded to know, “What. The. Hell.”

“Oh God, you read the charter. Tell me Reggie didn’t give you paper towels for your ‘problem tunnel,” Leslie hoped.

“Problem? Shows what he knows! But I guess as long as they have a token ‘feminist’ in office, they can pretend they deserve ‘problem’ tunnels!” Britta spouted.

“Hey, I’ve been gunning for Reggie’s job since day one! It’s not my fault he finds extra sexist and extra soft two-plys! So other women say,” Leslie added.

“I should have known women couldn’t have any real power in government. Especially a sick one like this,” Britta accused.

“Have you tried to destroy 200 years of prejudice in one City Council term? It’s no picnic,” Leslie stated. “Maybe you should master feminism at home first. Start small, like speaking out against foot fetishists who touch your friends. Dean Pelton got it after a while, and he’s a man.”

“Only by penis standards! Wow, the machine really does make women think small. Especially one that hates them this much. No wonder we need to trash the whole thing. How come you didn’t know that?” Britta wondered.

Leslie thought hard – or at least bit her tongue hard – and then answered, “You know, you’re right, there’s no point getting through to me. You know who you really want to talk to? Ron Swanson. He’s a man, but I’m sure you guys have a lot in common.” She left out the things they decidedly didn’t have in common, but that could be a surprise.

“Fine. At least he has an excuse between his legs to love a government like this. It’s not a good one, but it’s better than yours,” Britta announced. Yep, that part erased all doubt that it should be a surprise.

How could someone who’s almost the complete package be that wrong on one big point? Well, Ron would be asking her that the rest of the day now.

As Britta went off, Andy came by and noticed a frozen Dean Pelton. “Oh my God. Moby finally got my letters! Thank you for playing with us, sir, Moby Mouse will not let you down! No wait, I mean The Three Moby-teers plus Andy! Yeah, that’s good!” After a pause, he corrected, “Aw, Moby-us Strip, duh!”

“Dude, that’s not Moby,” Troy came back and corrected. “Moby was our doppledeaner, but that’s the real Dean this time. I think. Dean, if you’re working for Chang again, say yes!” When the Dean kept quiet, Troy breathed a sigh of relief.

“Fake Moby’s a Dean? Aw, I would have got a check plus in all my classes if he taught them. Especially rock class! At least the one that’s not about earth rocks,” Andy lamented.

“That’s how those evil scientists get you, man,” Troy agreed. “Teacher Moby would make a great movie, though.”

“Or a great rock ballad,” Andy offered.

“Or a great rock ballad for a great movie,” Troy built on.

“Or a great rock ballad for a great trailer for a great theme park ride based on a great movie! Dude, this is getting all Inception on us!” Andy cheered.

“Oh God, this time I get the layers!” Troy exclaimed.

“You didn’t get them the first time too? Or the 12’th time Ben made you watch it?” Andy asked. “Is your brain wrinkling too?”

Troy could only widen his eyes and drop his jaw, which Andy took to mean, “Ooh, wide eyed starting contests! I never win these with April!” he said before copying Troy’s expression perfectly.

Eventually, the two perennial staring contest losers blinked and closed their mouths, then ran all around City Hall together. They wound up in the courtyard, where they found Abed and Ben sitting together, with April nearby.

“Abed! I’m not jealous of you making new friends anymore! I totally get how cool it is now!” Troy gestured.

“Ditto,” Abed declared – then he, Ben, Troy and Andy all jinxed themselves by saying “Ghost!”

“Oh God, it was bad enough when the nerds were multiplying! Why is the world too boring for me to watch something else? Haven’t I made enough ant sacrifices for you, world?” April groaned, but Andy was already gone with Troy.

“All right, least favorite female sci-fi hero. Mine is Minerva, hands down,” Abed told Ben.

“Who?” Ben wondered.

“Oh God, you actually blocked that season of Inspector Spacetime out. I’m sorry to shatter your blissful world,” Abed apologized.

“Inspector what now? I don’t know that one,” Ben revealed. “Do you mean that show with Luke Perry on NBC? That wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either.”

Abed’s face seemed to twitch by the millisecond, as April rejoiced, “Oh good, nerd robot shutdown. That’s better than anything else.”

Ben just looked confused as Abed twitched and started to get up. But then he stopped and said normally, “No. Anyone who can defend Kickpuncher 4.0 Part II like that deserves another chance. Time for some character development. I hope you’re ready for the same.”

“How do I do that?” Ben asked with a deadpan, yet still intrigued tone.

“Come with me if you want to see real Blorgons on my laptop,” Abed offered.

“Is that like Torgos? Those things were pretty freaky,” Ben said.

“Please don’t speak like that again until the end of Season Two. For both our sakes,” Abed warned, then headed off with Ben following him.

“Can’t even give me a nerd fight? Come on, angry ant God, get over yourself already!” April moaned to no one.

As Abed and Ben walked through the Parks department, everyone else there was focused on Pierce and Jerry – laughing and enjoying each other’s company. For everyone there who ever knew one of them, this was a sight they never expected in their lifetime.

“What kind of crazy ass old people are you breeding up in Greendale?” Donna asked Shirley.

“I could ask you the same about your town. If I wasn’t terrified of the answer,” Shirley replied.

“Two Jerrys. God, are my eyes too perfect that you had to ruin them like this? Couldn’t a simple gouging do?” Tom cried.

“Hold on, the day’s not over yet,” Ann needled, which was all she could do to distract herself.

“Pierce, I’m sure my wife and kids would love to meet you. Here’s their picture,” Jerry said as he got out his wallet. Once he showed him a picture of his ex-supermodel worthy wife Gail, Pierce gasped, but not for the reasons everyone else usually did.

“Didn’t I almost bang her in a Ferrari 30 years ago?” Pierce asked. Before Jerry could answer and Tom could try to gouge his eyes himself, Britta loudly stormed out of Ron’s office.

“Do you people know why someone so smart about government is so dense on everything else? Because I’m at a loss!” Britta declared as Ron came out next.

“There are much greater mysteries to life. Like how this Greendale churns out people that seem so enlightened, yet become so disappointing. Even the blonds make sense for a little while! At least the psychotic hero hating tall ones are discreet!” Ron said a bit too much.

“What’s that about Jeff? What did he see you do?” Britta asked eagerly. However, April chose that moment to come back inside.

“All right, you heard the man, he doesn’t want to be disturbed, let’s go,” April stated. She shared a tiny look with Ron before turning back to Britta.

“Wait, you don’t know what he is! I know part of him makes more sense than any man you’ve ever met! But the rest is bat crap! Another animal who shouldn’t have her corpse stuffed in your mustache!” Britta declared.

“Bat heads are delicious, everyone knows that,” April said back.

“No! They’re taught that by deranged libertarians and the rock-industrial complex! But it can be untaught! Especially to slightly younger people like you!” Britta realized. “Maybe the oppressed, brainwashed women here are a lost cause. But the youth, as always, can save the uterus’s of the future, can’t we?”

“Ew, I’ve already got a naturally blond old person for that. I don’t have time to break in another, so go away,” April headed out.

“Who taught you that? Whose brainwashing can I therapize out of you?” Britta then pulled out a Lil’ Sebastian picture and asked, “Show me on the cute mini-horse where you’re broken!” before following April out.

Ron closed his eyes in frustration, and a tiny bit of what passed for regret on his face, before Pierce interrupted, “So, back to the blond I almost banged on my getaway, right?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Annie and Shirley ultimately got Britta away from April, and got her away from the town’s more misogynist documents and paintings – although that took most of the day.

Yet when she was calm, and when Annie convinced her Leslie wasn’t a token sellout for not burning the charter and City Hall down – although that took most of the next day – the merger between Pawnee and Greendale went on seamlessly.

Dean Pelton ultimately spoke again and spent the next day finalizing Professor Cornwallis’s ‘retirement’ over the phone. Since this was belated justice for Annie and it kept the Dean’s arms away from him, Jeff was pretty pleased.

But otherwise, he hadn’t done much with Annie since the others got here.

Keeping the group from totally terrorizing Greendale was a full-time job – on top of actually putting in an effort to work for Chris. Nevertheless, Annie saw that Jeff wasn’t as free and easy with her as he was during their day together.

Their day together that wasn’t around people they knew. Or people that could judge him or make him feel guilty for acting….a certain way. Maybe now that the group was here, it’d be back to business as usual.

Maybe he brought them here for reasons other than Annie’s birthday. Maybe he got all his ‘creepy’ and ‘wrong’ bonding with Annie out of the way on her birthday, knowing the group would keep him ‘in line’ from now on. It would be so like him to think that would ‘solve’ everything.

Not that there was anything to solve. There was far more important things for a grown up woman like Annie to do, anyway. That’s what Pawnee and Leslie were here to remind her of – in a far nicer way than Greendale and Jeff usually did.

One good example would be New Years Eve, as Annie and Jeff would make their return to the Snakehole. But instead of getting in drunk fights with Jeff, she would have drunk verbal fights, at best, with all her new and old female friends.

Annie, Leslie, Ann, April, Donna, Britta and Shirley all found a big enough space two hours before midnight. Leslie already held her annual ‘Gals Year In Review’ tribute with the Pawnee women this afternoon, so tonight was all about fun. Or as much fun as they could have without binders and Dorothy Everton Smythe tributes, according to Leslie.

It was also about welcoming Shirley and Britta into the fold, although Shirley felt welcome enough after Donna helped ‘treat her’ at Eagleton. But Shirley had been warned not to do any Eagleton raving, for Leslie’s sake – and to keep Britta from seeing that Eagleton had a far better record with women. On snobby Eagleton crap paper, according to Leslie after her third shot.

Nevertheless, Britta was now surrounded by fellow women – and April forged her signature on the form all visiting women had to sign to buy alcohol, in return for her leaving her alone – so she was more loosey goosey. Plus since Jeff still wasn’t approaching Annie, and since Ben was on his fourth straight hour of Inspector Spacetime ramblings, the ladies were left to their own partying.

“Well, lookie here! My New Years wish came early this year!” came the voice of a far more annoying man. “Course, Leslie here isn’t Scarlett Johansson and none of you are making out. But there’s plenty of time left for some Jamming tonight,” bragged dentist/Councilman Jeremy Jamm.

“Councilman. I see you got around the issue of not being invited,” Leslie said as democratically as possible.

“And I see you and Meagle got around the issue of human cloning,” Jamm said, leering at Britta and Shirley. “I gotta admit, your blonde clone doesn’t have the oomph of your brunette clone, Knope. But this is still my Jamm.”

“Just when I thought this town had some respect for women,” Britta stated, and the rest of the women nodded – in agreement. “Oh, way to be sarcastic,” she interpreted, not used to positive reinforcement.

“Nope, you nailed – um, got that one accurate,” Annie tried to correct.

“Too late, you jammed up your own nailing. My favorite kind of porn! Game, set, jammed!” Jamm bragged. “Anyway, nails aside, I gotta get back to work.”

Jamm held up a bunch of flyers advertising Paunch Burger – the conglomerate trying to get a burger joint built on Lot 48, instead of Leslie’s dream park, Pawnee Commons. “Come on, even I know better than to work on New Years! Once every three years!” Leslie groaned.

“And that’s why your park’s gonna be jammed outta existence. You can bring in all kinds of hot clones who are just as naggy as you. But it’s gonna happen,” Jamm riled Leslie and the women up. Except for Annie, of all women.

“Jam-a-lam, right? That’s what you did there?” Annie asked.

“Huh? Ha, shows what you know, bigger cans Leslie! It’s -“ Jamm started.

“You built Jamm City on our parks corpse. Right?” Annie guessed. “Or maybe it’s ‘I’m off to build Jamm-a lot.’ You’ll probably throw in a ‘I’m gonna go get on the Kiss-Jamm now!’ if someone mentions sports. Then add in a ‘I spy some ladies who’ll show me their Jamms,’ a ‘Vote Paunch Burger for good old Uncle Jamm’ and of course, a ‘Wham bam, thank you Jamm.’ Then you’re halfway done, right?”

“I, um, well, not halfway,” the Councilman stammered as Annie got up.

“Yeah, you are. I know you too well by now. I’ve known people like you long before I knew you! At least one of them had the decency to get Changnesia! By the time Leslie’s finished with her park, you’ll beg for Jamm-nesia and it’ll be Jamm-tacular!” Annie bragged.

“Hey, I was gonna use those! For getting laid purposes!” Jamm stumbled.

“Sorry, this isn’t City Council. No one who matters has been Jamm-washed to want you here. So without that, or any more name puns, you’ve got no reason to be here,” Annie concluded. “Now please leave us and our perfect, cavity free teeth alone, all right?” she asked before baring her perfect teeth and rubbing Jamm’s defeat in further.

“Come on, you’re Jamming me….gah!” the Councilman groaned as Leslie and the others joined Annie in bearing their teeth. He finally gave up and left as everyone else in the area cheered for Annie.

“Wow, what a Dean-saster of a human being,” Dean Pelton commented.

“Woo, you gave your girl some teeth, Leslie,” Donna complimented.

“Nope, I didn’t teach her that. That’s all Kickass Annie right there,” Leslie toasted. “To a new year of Pawnee Commons and Kickass Annie!” she offered as everyone else hear-hear’ed – even April when Leslie checked on her.

“Does that mean I can wash those puns out of my mouth?” Annie asked. She promptly drank her glass down before they gave permission.

Annie kept herself from getting too tipsy after that. She was too high on the adrenaline of finally shutting Jamm up, and on having unconditional respect from women. All of that made her too distracted to see Jeff looking at her every few minutes.

But when everyone met with the men right before midnight, Jeff approached Annie with a minute to spare. “You’ll be glad to know Abed’s retired the phrase ‘That’s my jam’ now. Just so you know,” he joked.

“Oh, he’s fine. If he tries to ruin Leslie’s dream park, then we’ll need to talk,” Annie teased, thankful she was loose enough for that.

“I know I’ve kept my distance since they got here,” Jeff stunned her by being direct. “I was just….trying to plan something. I kind of had cold feet, but after seeing that, I’m gonna stop sitting around,” he alluded as the countdown went to 15.

“Well, you are standing up now, I’ll give you that,” Annie chuckled nervously. “What are you standing for?”

“For something. Finally,” Jeff cryptically answered, as the countdown went down to five.

At four, he took a step towards her.

At three, he put a hand on her neck.

At two, Annie gasped as Jeff’s face got closer.

At one, Annie instinctively went closer herself.

And at zero, before Annie could really take it in, Jeff connected his lips to hers. In front of both Pawnee and Greendale citizens alike.

Of course, most of them were distracted at the start. But by the time they finished hugging each other, they noticed when Annie got into kissing Jeff. Even Ben and Leslie broke apart in time to catch the tail end.

When it ended, Annie bit back an “Uh oh,” so Jeff wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Not that the right one was any clearer to her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jeff and Annie's New Years kiss.

Jeff didn’t kiss Annie again on New Years. In fact, Jeff didn’t even comment on it. After their post-kiss pause ended, Jeff just said, “Let’s do another toast,” and went to get champagne before Annie got the wrong idea. If it was wrong.

Jeff poured Annie a glass, toasted her and they celebrated the New Year with a drink this time. 2013 had such a confusing, wild and undeniably hot start, alcohol probably couldn’t do much more. God knows their friends tried afterwards.

But for all the questions, commentary, warnings, innuendos on Pierce, Donna and Tom’s part, attempted therapizing on Britta’s part, and applied lessons from Inspector Spacetime from Ben, Jeff and Annie didn’t respond. They stayed lost in their own thoughts, unwilling or unable to get into it with the others or each other.

Nonetheless, Jeff stayed until the end of the party, and only patted Annie’s hand instead of her head when he left. And as New Years Day went on, Annie stayed in her room, torn between debating herself in her own head, or getting annoyed by the noise Troy, Abed and Andy were making in the living room. It was a close contest.

Just then, April barged in without knocking and led Champion over to Annie’s bed. “You’ve got magic sunshine powers. Just this once, use them on Champion so I don’t make him bite your old roommates’ pinky fingers. Which Inspector Galaxy Quest didn’t do first!”

“It’s Spacetime! How do you keep getting it wrong?” Annie heard Troy yell. “Unless….oh God, she’s a Blorgon. No wonder she looks so much like a scarier lizard!”

“Lizard with boobs. That would be how they’d get us!” they heard Andy agree.

“Ben might say that’d make no sense. But he’s on his 6’th Season 5 binge back at his house and isn’t here, so scary lizard it is,” Abed said, then April got up and shut the door – while still in Annie’s room.

“Fine, give me the stupid sunshine powers too. Just leave enough of me left to like Neutral Milk Hotel, that’s an order,” April demanded.

“No, that’s okay. I’m still kind of drained anyway,” Annie said as she put Champion on her lap.

“Cause that Wingbird guy made out with you?” April guessed.

“It’s Winger, and no,” Annie lamely said. It was one thing to play along with April’s little name games. It’d be another to talk about this with the person least likely to help – other than Jeff himself.

“Good, he’s too lame anyway. Even for you,” April commented.

Before Annie could object, April actually continued talking. “You know, you guys hyped him up as some cool hipster who didn’t care about anything. That would have been awesome. But he keeps looking at you like Leslie and Ben look at each other, and it’s gross. Andy doesn’t look gross when he loves me, but your guy’s just sick.”

If anyone else said those exact words, it would sound like they were trying to help. From April, it was much more iffy. Then again, that made the words all the more shocking. To say nothing of linking them to Leslie and Ben’s own….long looks and stolen glances.

At that moment of hope, Annie got a text that read, “The Wonder Quartet bringing down the house?” from Jeff. Instead of feeling nervous, the fact he was actually reaching out to her made Annie laugh.

As such, instead of getting into their issues, she texted back, “More like a trio so far. That’s why the roof’s still standing,” with better grammar. As long as they joked around, things couldn’t be too awkward or revealing, or likely to shatter her.

It was cowardice, but it wasn’t like bravery got Annie far before. Besides, Jeff had been the brave one last night, and even he was back to avoiding the issue. At least this time it was with jokes like, “Tell April thanks on behalf of the roof.”

Annie laughed and almost thanked April for real, but April got up first. “Ugh, you look sick too. Forget it. At least my finger biting will be on your head, finger murderer,” she warned before leaving the room. Somehow, Annie brushed aside the first part and kept texting.

The two texted about Champion, the drunker parts of last night and Annie’s epic Jamm takedown, but not about the kiss. It stayed unexamined the next day when everyone went back to work, and Annie helped Leslie organize a going away party for Shirley. Since she had a family, she wouldn’t be staying for an extra week like everyone else.

Nevertheless, Leslie took every single thing she learned about Shirley from her friends – and a few things she found out with her own research powers – to give her the perfect sendoff. Of course, even J.J.’s couldn’t cook all of Shirley’s favorite foods, and the whole issue of a religious themed party on City Hall brought about a small Constitutional crisis.

Eventually, Leslie and Shirley forged a miracle by compromising, holding the party – Jesus stick figures and all – at the halfway point between City Hall and the nearby church. It was at a vacant lot that had just been freed from possums three months ago, but Leslie was hardly one to reject vacant lots.

Once the party was set up and the religious symbols were away from the side closest to City Hall, everyone could actually start partying. As Shirley basked in the small victory for Christian-dom – and the small matter of being honored by her friends and people she only knew for a week – Annie watched with a smile.

She wouldn’t do that alone for too long.

“Feeling better now that we’re not in Hell? Or in ACLU jail?” Jeff asked.

“I thought you didn’t believe in either one,” Annie responded.

“Well, sometimes it’s best to cover your bases. Especially since you’d be in eternal darkness if you’re wrong. And then it’s off to Hell too,” Jeff joked. Annie just rolled her eyes at that easy setup, then watched the party with Jeff in silence. Silence that got less comfortable over time.

“I know Shirley’s got to head back to her family. But I’m not going,” Jeff said.

“Of course not. Unless you found loopholes to graduate early here too,” Annie stated. “Wait, did you? Is there a magic marathon time you ran to earn it?”

“If there was, I would have run it after eating J’J’s food,” Jeff replied. “I mean I’m not….going,” he stressed, like that explained anything. “I’ve run away from stuff like this before. But this time….I’m still here. You noticed that by now, right?”

Not in those terms. Certainly not in the terms she dared to think about. Of course, even now he had to be a little cryptic.

Yet he went on with, “I hope that’s enough for you to notice. While I sort the rest out. Which I’m gonna do. While I keep talking to you in the meantime. Which I should really stop doing now.”

Annie couldn’t help but laugh, but started to try when she sensed Jeff’s embarrassment. Once she gave him enough time to pretend to be cool again, he simplified by asking, “Is that okay?”

It probably shouldn’t have been. All he was doing was keeping Annie on the hook, like he did through that whole summer. But Jeff wasn’t avoiding her like that summer.

He was going out of his way to do the opposite. No matter how awkward or unproductive it was, he was still showing her he cared more. And the fact that he was trying to figure it out instead of running away….

There was still so much Annie needed to figure out too – and what certain actions or thoughts said about her as a person. But as long as Jeff was doing the same, maybe Annie didn’t have to be in any hurry. That took some of the pressure and troubling questions off.

Therefore, Annie painted a smile and answered, “For now.”

Jeff’s visible relief before he tried to hide it did help. So did the way he nodded, smiled and stood with her in much more comfortable silence. Annie saw April make a grossed out face at them, but she brushed that aside fast enough.

When Jeff finally mingled with everyone else, Annie was met by Shirley. “You know, I kept my judgments and gossips to myself after that little….midnight madness. As a New Years and going away present to you. And I kept them from bringing it up to you too, even Britta and Leslie. I do not want to tell you how I bribed Donna.”

“Thanks for that too,” Annie said in relief.

“But googley eyes like that aren’t making it easier,” Shirley warned. “Now I’m extra glad I’m leaving early. But how glad are you and Jeffrey gonna be when you get back?”

“In what way?” Annie asked suspiciously. “Is there one way you’d prefer?”

“There used to be. Now after all these parties….I guess any way where you two are smiling would do. Even ways Satan might approve of too. At first, anyway,” Shirley conceded. “Is that gonna happen while I’m gone? Do you even want it to happen?”

It was something how Shirley was more direct than Jeff. Not that it was something 100 percent good. Yet Annie composed herself, at least in public, and answered, “I don’t know. But maybe I can tell you when I get back.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jeff wasn’t that clear cut when Shirley talked to him before she left. He just nodded along to the usual Hell references and hugged her when it was his cue. After that, he knew Britta or Leslie or Ben wouldn’t be bound to leave him alone anymore, so he hid in his motel room.

The next day, he was left to himself at Chris’s office, pretending to work hard. But now he did wish work excited him enough to keep him distracted. Anything would be better than thinking about the tight rope he was on.

Despite planning that big move on New Years, it took everything he had not to run away afterwards. It took the rest to actually text Annie the next day, talk to her at Shirley’s party, and not leave town in general. Nevertheless, he knew if he couldn’t figure out what to do next, he at least owed her something better than two years ago.

At the least, actually spending time with her after a game-changing kiss wasn’t that much torture. It helped that she wasn’t jumping down his throat with flights of fancy this time. Maybe she was evolving too. But that “for now” comment told Jeff he couldn’t buy time forever.

It’d be nicer if it told him what he should say when time ran out. Or shut up those two voices that said the answer was obvious – the good one and the evil one. Whatever they were.

For years, the evil one told him to just take her, while the good one said it was wrong and something that just wasn’t for him. Nowadays – especially after that kiss and what they did afterwards – he wasn’t sure which voice was which anymore.

If he ever really had been.

“Jeff Winger!” Chris’s perky voice from Hell said right on cue.

“Oh, right, right. Files are right here,” Jeff handed Chris from behind his desk.

“Excellent hand off, as always. But that’s not the main reason I’m here,” Chris started. “You’ve been off in your now trademark routine lately. You’ve even cut down on your black comedy one-liners. I hope nothing’s wrong.”

“Not a chance. Don’t worry about me, it’ll take years off your allegedly limitless life,” Jeff scrambled to joke.

“Nonsense. Even if I only live to 240, it’s worth it to help a new friend,” Chris sickened Jeff – though not 100 percent so. Still, the third or fourth worst person he wanted to share anything with was Chris.

“As someone who expected to see the 23’rd century himself, I can tell you the reality check isn’t worth it. Keep the dream alive for all of us while you can,” Jeff tried to send Chris away.

“Are you saying that so you can resume daydreaming over Annie Edison?” Chris surprisingly nailed.

“What? Come on, that’s….where do you get these ideas?” Jeff laughed badly.

“I could list all the smitten looks, stolen glances and heartwarming New Years kisses. But I don’t want to take up your entire day,” Chris listed. People in Pawnee really were more…..annoyingly observant than Greendale.

When part of him – the good or evil part – thought it might not be a bad thing, Jeff stopped before he got too crazy. “Aren’t you the guy who fires people for office romances? No need to make me resign in disgrace like Ben, right?” he attempted to shut the door. Yet Chris didn’t go anywhere.

“It is true. My job of enforcing the government’s rule against office romance has caused trouble. It drove Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt into a life of lies, painful break ups, and bribery of maintenance workers. No matter how many cleansing tears I shed when Ben resigned, the good tears just weren’t enough to outweigh the bad ones. They lost by two tears, but it might as well have been 200,” Chris insisted.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Jeff nodded along.

“But this is different. You and Annie are only interns here for another week. None of you are each other’s bosses. And even if Leslie had Annie seduce you just so you’d tamper with my budget recommendations, I literally have 20 backup copies! As historically brilliant as they are, even they couldn’t make you get them all. Not that they would! But they know I’d be ready,” Chris insisted.

“Yeah, they…..know a lot of things,” Jeff got more confused.

“Regardless, this time I know better than to deny true love. Especially when it’s on such a Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt scale,” Chris got choked up.

Jeff didn’t know if Chris’s words and efforts not to cry helped or hurt – another weird thing. When he was composed, however, Chris continued with, “Just be sure to be honest with her.”

“Did someone make you think I wouldn’t be?” Jeff asked, wondering how loose lipped Leslie had been when she hated him.

“Of course not, you’re too exceptional for that,” Chris said, which boosted Jeff’s ego until he realized how naïve that was. “Nevertheless, I hope you’ll stay exceptional. Leslie and Ben had to lie to me and each other for months, and it almost destroyed them. If not for their final act of defiance in getting back together, I might not have cried over one first draft of my best man’s speech! Let alone 20!”

Jeff gave Chris another moment to recover. But since this gave Jeff time to think of the serious, non-hilarious parts of his advice, he didn’t recover as well.

“You do realize you can’t be honest about everything, right? There’s some things too risky and painful to just blurt out,” Jeff opened up like he didn’t want to. “Especially when there’s so much that can still go wrong….even if it all goes right. So much that I – I mean, she, couldn’t live with.”

“How do you know unless you let her try?” Chris asked. “Annie Edison has become one of the most capable interns in this galaxy’s history. Right alongside yourself. If she can handle Leslie Knope’s round-the-clock schedule that exceptionally, she can handle anything.”

“She couldn’t handle….what I could do to her,” Jeff admitted.

“Leslie was convinced she couldn’t handle the truth coming out. So was Ben. But he handled unemployment wonderfully, guided two politicians to election victories in one year, and is now engaged. Leslie handled a one percent approval rating, came from behind to win, and is now engaged herself. I literally doubt they could have been that happy with more lies,” Chris said, using ‘literally’ seriously for once.

The impact got through to Jeff as well. Ben used virtually the same logic, but that just helped Jeff make up for a fight. Using it to justify….this was something else. Or maybe it really wasn’t.

As it hit him, Chris clapped his shoulder and encouraged, “Go to her, Jeff. And don’t just do it so I can use my rejected best man speeches for your wedding.” Now that was too much to listen to.

Once Jeff stopped scoffing and laughing, Chris gave a more effortless laugh and said, “There’s the delightful Jeff Winger I know! Go on, show that to Annie and win her heart.” As Jeff was coming up with an answer, Chris encouraged, “Go on! I’ll hold down the fort here, don’t worry about work! Seize the day!”

Well, at least thinking he was Professor Whitman was better than thinking he was Rich. Barely.

With that in mind, Jeff left the office – and was admittedly tempted to blow off the rest of the day at the bowling alley. Beating people that didn’t totally cheat by bowling underhanded sounded better than….how other things could turn out.

But maybe if it’d make Chris shut up and pre-emptively shut up Britta and Leslie, it was worth trying it the other way. Just for that reason.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Jeff asked Annie to lunch in the courtyard, Annie tried to brush aside how he’d never done that before, in Pawnee or Greendale. She even kept her head clear enough to enjoy eating with him at first. But it couldn’t stay that blissfully ignorant forever.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Jeff started less smoothly than usual. “We both know this whole thing is weird. I thought it’d be more weird if you knew that…..all the things you feel for me….I’m feeling too. And not just about me, which is weird enough. About you too. And for a really long time.” After a pause, he asked, “Well? Is it weird?”

It was a lot of things to Annie. It was stunning, then kind of funny, then it almost made her feel euphoric. As she felt herself smile, she went over all the words Jeff told her, committing this landmark moment for posterity. But one part near the end tripped her up and made her stop smiling.

“A really long time?” Annie asked out loud. “How long is really long here?” She caught the tail end of a smile from Jeff before it vanished too. 

“Consciously?” Jeff qualified, then frowned and worked out, “Maybe two years or so. Unconsciously? Probably as long as you. I mean, you weren’t into me as much before our kiss, but then….” he trailed off.

“Hold on,” Annie frowned. “During that whole summer after our kiss….you had those feelings too?”

“Not those feelings,” Jeff dismissed. “But….maybe there were a few moments when I….kind of wanted to call and see where it went. When I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Now sensing he wasn’t helping himself, Jeff corrected, “I mean, to me back then, it wasn’t thinking clearly! Now it looks a little different.”

“When’s the next time you weren’t thinking clearly?” Annie surprised herself by getting more inquisitive – and more angry.

“Off and on after the pen incident. The bathroom stuff. The Annie of it All stuff too. Maybe the stuff after that.” Jeff added.

“You knew you were lying back then? Even when you lied?” Annie asked. “I thought you were just figuring it out now. I told myself you never knowingly felt that way back then. I had to,” she stressed. “You’re telling me the whole time I’ve been school girl crushing you, you did it to me too? And you lied the entire time anyway?” she raised her voice.

“Not willingly!” Jeff winced at the end. 

“Jeff, I came to Pawnee to be an adult again,” Annie reminded. “One of the big reasons I wasn’t is because of you. Because I felt crazy things for you that you could never feel for me. Now you’re saying you felt it all along?”

And instead of swooning over that, as Jeff figured and semi-hoped, Annie became furious. “And you let me feel like a delusional little girl anyway? On purpose? For all three years?!”

“Not anymore! You weren’t delusional, now I’m willing to admit it,” Jeff covered. “It’s everything you wanted, right?”

It was. Back before she thought it made her like a child to think that way. Back before he made her think that way. Before Annie knew it, however, she realized she said that out loud.

Before she knew it, she realized she didn’t regret it.

She was still aware that Jeff coming clean at all should have made her happy. However, all the crap she’d been through before that – all the crap that tarnished her own image and self-worth – was making it quite hard.

And she was starting to think it was about time Jeff knew how hard. “Annie, what’s going on here? Do you know how huge it was for me to say that stuff? I get some credit for that, right?” Jeff insisted.

Yep, time to set him straight.

“You could have told me that summer. You could have told me anything,” Annie informed. “Even if you just said you did like me that much, but you wouldn’t act on it. I would have understood. I might have argued, but maybe we would have worked something out.” Annie vented.

“Annie, I wasn’t a big ‘feelings talker’ back then. I’m barely that right now. You figured that out by now, right?” Jeff asked.

“You talked about them before we kissed! We did it a lot together before we kissed! More than we did the last few years!” Annie pointed out. “We were both growing up so fast before that damn kiss. We could have talked through it like real adults back then.”

“And what good would that have done? I would have said it was wrong anyway, and it was wrong back then. Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have started some fairy tale romance with you, like you wanted,” Jeff noted.

“I know, okay? I know romance and feelings make you uncomfortable. I would have remembered if I hadn’t got so carried away!” Annie predicted. “I would have been willing to work with that. To work out our own pace. You think I’d have forced you to do stuff you weren’t ready for? I would never do that to you, Jeff!”

“Oh, you just killed your argument right there,” Jeff responded. Both of them wondered why the hell they were arguing for a second. Yet Annie’s misguided point was too big for Jeff to let slide.

“You and your Disney face never force me to do things I’m not ready for? You never forced me to give you an answer in the bathroom I wasn’t ready for? You never forced me to define an ‘Annie of it All’ I wasn’t ready to address, in front of the whole group? Let’s not kid ourselves here,” Jeff warned.

“You saw things way too simple and black and white to take really seriously back then. And that wasn’t just because I never talked to you. I liked to think you were more evolved now. Was I wrong?” Jeff let get away from him.

Annie took in all the ways he was right. And all the ways he was still wrong. The wrong still won out.

The more she finally let herself really understand why that was, the less she felt inclined to keep bottling up.

“You never gave me a chance to try,” Annie said. “Not in that horrible year. Not in the next two, either. And look what happened because of it. I sunk so low I had to go to another town to get my head straight.”

“Well, you were right all along, so there you go,” Jeff dismissed. “You were right, I was wrong, so there’s your vindication,” he said, trying one last time to get this on track while he still wanted to.

“There it is now! After all the crap I’ve been through! It’s too late to take that back!” Annie let out. “You really convinced me you never….liked me like I liked you. And that I was a crazy child for feeling anything anyway. Do you even….do you have any idea what that’s made me think about myself? Even now?”

“All that because I didn’t confess feelings for you one summer?” Jeff huffed.

“All that because you never did! At all!” Annie shot back. “You let me think it was all in my head. That I was a stupid girl who only wanted to change you, for my own ego. But you just kept opening the door and slamming it shut. Then you made it look like it was my fault for walking into it! And not just two years ago, but every year you never said anything!”

“Like anything I could have said back then would have satisfied you!” Jeff defended.

“Anything would have been better than what you made me feel!” Annie argued back.

“And what did I ‘make you feel’?” Jeff spouted in return.

“Alone,” Annie’s voice caught before she could yell it. That break in her voice brought Jeff down instantly. Yet Annie would only keep struggling to tap into her buried pain from here.

“Sometimes I feel closer to you than anyone I’ve ever met. That you see me, all of me, better than anyone. I’m not used to that from anyone. Ever. And the one person who made me feel that….connected and valued, spent three years making me think it was in my head. That even the person who did more for me than anyone I’ve ever met….even he thought I was unworthy in some way,” Annie admitted. 

“Do you have any idea what that can do to someone’s self-worth? Especially someone with my history?” she argued. “It makes them think you really have nothing to offer but grades. They can cling to it so much, they’ll even….compromise themselves with teachers. Just to keep that little bit of worth they have left.”

“That wasn’t my fault,” Jeff gasped out.

“No. Not that you had anything to say about it until we got here,” Annie reminded. “You just tuned it out because you had your own problems. Now it turns out that’s what you did with me for three years. And you did it on purpose.”

“That is not what I was doing!” Jeff defended.

“You just said you felt something for me, even when you ignored me that summer. If you just told me that then….I don’t care what would have happened, I would have never acted out like I did that second year. And we both know it! But I embarrassed myself in ways I still can’t get over! And it turns out I never should have had to!” Annie informed.

She went on with, “You felt something for me in that bathroom. One word about that then would have made me feel so much better. Even if I didn’t understand relationships were complicated! I sure understood getting rejected by two men in one night because of my age!”

Annie saw Jeff’s jealousy squirm over her allusion to Rich, but she didn’t care. “Even if you just took me aside when you said it was all in my head….just said one clear cut sentence that you saw me that way too. We didn’t have to be together after that. Like I was gonna reward you with that after what you said?” She gave her bitterest chuckle and Jeff tried to bite down one of his own.

“I thought for two years I wasn’t worth that much. That scraps of friendship and honesty was all I’d get. That every time I got carried away with deeper feelings, I was a stupid little girl for ever feeling that way! That I could never love someone the right way….not that anyone could be a real adult and have real feelings for me! You made that very clear!” Annie vented.

She got on her feet and actually towered over Jeff as she continued, “And now you’re telling me you do. You knew I wasn’t a child for liking you. And you chose to let me think I was anyway? Even with everything you knew it did to me?!”

“If I told you, I would have destroyed you. Eventually,” Jeff weakly said.

“Instead of almost destroying me now,” Annie responded. “But now it’s safe to open your mouth? After three years of stunting my growth? After three years of quietly letting me embarrass myself? After three years of letting me think I’m the crazy one?!”

Whether raising her voice like that made her look crazy or not, Annie was too far gone to care. 

“You could have stopped that at any time with one word. You could have let me work with you through your hang-ups. Which I already do better than anyone! But after three years of letting me believe the worst about myself….when you knew better all along…..you decided to let me stop, only when the damage was done, NOW?! Is THAT what you’re telling me?!?”

Annie stopped breathing loud enough to try and hear Jeff’s answer. Not that he had one to drown out her breath, or her tears. It took another few seconds before Jeff finally said – in a meeker tone than she’d ever heard from him – “I guess so.”

His look of hopelessness and shame didn’t register to Annie. Three years of pent-up shame that Jeff made her feel could do that. Now that some of it was out, there was still some rage to get through. So Annie balled up her fist and reached back to let the rest out.

But she couldn’t get her fist all the way to Jeff’s face. Even if his face wasn’t moving.

When that failed, Annie opened her hand and reached back to slap Jeff. But that froze up halfway as well.

If she couldn’t bring herself to punch or slap him, there was really nothing to do now. So she sat back down and made herself say, “Go.”

“Annie….” Jeff countered, sounding almost half as broken. But that was the last thing Annie needed to take in right now.

“Jeff, please! I need….I need time to think. I can’t do that with you….” When she felt more tears coming, Annie all but whispered, “Please.” But that sounded a bit too desperate – and she really shouldn’t be the desperate one at this table.

Annie wiped her eyes, tried to keep steady eye contact with Jeff, then repeated as forcefully as she could, “Go.”

Eventually, Jeff’s response was a less forceful, “Okay.”

She watched him get up and head back towards the parks department. She then noticed that most of that department had watched the show from the windows. Since they’d seen enough, Annie put her head down and tried to hide her remaining emotions while she could.

And hide the mix of guilt and righteous fury she felt now.

What Jeff said should have made Annie happy – ironically, for all the reasons she was mad. After all this time, she finally knew the truth. That her feelings and her actions didn’t make her a dumb girl, because he may have actually felt the same all along. That for the first time, a man cared about her as much as she cared about….well, anything.

She should have felt, for the first time ever, that she really wasn’t alone.

But if she knew that three, two, or even one year ago, she wouldn’t have felt so many worse things first. Or done so many of them. Or felt ashamed afterwards for just being herself, without having all the facts to relieve her shame – or to stop her from feeling more of it.

It made a sick kind of sense. Even when Annie knew she wasn’t alone, she still felt truly alone. No matter who bore all, none or half of the blame.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie has a few words with Jeff.

When Annie could bring herself to move, she stormed back inside and went past everyone in the parks department. She even locked the door to her office and turned off her phone, in no mood to be praised or bashed by anyone. After all the talking and yelling, she was in no mood to hear or say anything.

Yet after a half hour, she heard a knock on her door anyway. “Annie? It’s Ann,” the voice of Ann said. “I’ve got your therapist with me.”

“My what?” Annie said, before instantly figuring it out. “Oh God, Britta! How did you find out?”

“Hey, Donna was live tweeting YouTube cat videos, not me,” Britta’s voice emerged. “I was in too deep by the time she tweeted about you, so I’m a victim too.”

Annie groaned and asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be Jeff’s therapizer? Isn’t it a conflict of interest to see me?” she figured.

“Oh, I’ve got too much to tell him in one day!” Britta assured. “Besides, I kind of got the idea that you needed more help. I also got the idea that if I knew that a month ago….” she trailed off before finishing, “Anyway, I’m here to hear you now.”

Despite the circumstances and Donna’s lack of Twitter discretion, Annie felt moved. Before she nitpicked that feeling for the second time today, she unlocked the door and let Britta and Ann in. Ann wasn’t her ‘therapist’ but her career as the voice of reason after every Leslie Knope freak out made her more qualified.

“Thank you, Britta,” Annie stated, then risked making her uncomfortable anyway. “When you and Jeff had your….dirty secret time, did you sense he was….thinking about me? I mean, not during, but….anytime,” she blushed despite herself.

Britta rolled her eyes, but answered, “My mind wandered a lot during….that time. Sometimes when he really didn’t –“ but she very wisely stopped there. “Anyway, I have no idea.”

“Do you have any idea if I overreacted?” Annie followed up.

“Donna only typed a bunch of Team Edison hashtags, so I don’t have the full picture,” Britta admitted. “But it made you look kick ass, so….”

“I can think of 70 much crazier Leslie rants than yours. And they turned out just fine. Sometimes even without TV cameras,” Ann recalled. “You should be okay. I mean, if he really does like you, he’ll make it up to you soon.”

“I’ve been dumb enough to think that before,” Annie sighed. “But….I do know how hard it is for him to admit that stuff. And I get that he didn’t totally know what he was doing that summer.”

Yet just as she looked more forgiving, she frowned and continued, “That doesn’t excuse the next two, though. And what about this whole semester? I lose my mind, he’s too wrapped up to see it, and I’m supposed to forgive him? I’ve done that enough and look what it’s gotten me!”

“Sounds like it helped you get to Pawnee and meet Leslie. That’s something, right?” Ann offered before Annie could get Leslie-level scary.

“Not like he meant to do that. But I guess I get it,” Annie calmed down, then groaned. “Not like I get anything else. What’s the grown up move here?”

“What move do you want to do? Maybe the Annie move and the grown up move are one in the same,” Britta was helpful on purpose for once.

“Jeff let me think way different for three years. And I’m still considering….” Annie couldn’t finish that line of thought. “Maybe that says it all right there.”

“In what way?” Ann checked.

“I wish I knew. I wish I knew anything. And I hate feeling that way,” Annie lamented.

“Oh, I know. Two whole towns know, believe me,” Britta got less helpful.

“Maybe I need a tiebreaker. What did Leslie say?” Annie asked Ann. “Is she writing some 70-page anti-Jeff manifesto? Is that why she hasn’t called or come here?”

“She didn’t?” Ann actually looked shocked. “She would have run pages 30-40 by me if she was writing something. She didn’t even retweet Donna yet.”

“Seriously?” Annie gasped. “That doesn’t sound right at all.”

“Maybe she’s working and can’t do two things at once,” Britta offered. To that, Ann and Annie gave the “Oh, come on, Britta” faces to end all “Oh, come on Britta” faces. “Fine, give me your theories, then.”

All of their theories would have sounded insane, improbable and out of a fever dream, if they were about anyone but Leslie Knope. That’s why they didn’t think of the simplest ones.

Even if they turned out to be true this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jeff only had six words for Chris when he returned to the office. If he said anything other than “Gotta go, still seizing the day,” he probably would have ruined that ‘perfect’ face for his ‘bright advice.’ So before he had to improv and listen to any more of that smiling, he got out as quick as possible.

Before Jeff knew it, he drove away from City Hall and parked at the nearest vacant lot. They’d be looking for him at City Hall and in his hotel room, so if he stayed here and turned off his phone, it might buy time. Besides, it never took much to waste a day sleeping in a car, even if this rental wasn’t his Lexus.

But as much as he told himself otherwise, the lack of a Lexus wasn’t the only reason he couldn’t sleep.

He then told himself he was too mad. Both at Annie, and at himself for not knowing any better. For forgetting what happens when you’re dumb enough to tell the truth. And dumb enough to want things that are for deluded children. Whether they blame you for making them deluded or not.

Whether they’re completely 100 percent wrong or not.

Maybe sleeping on that wasn’t the best idea.

Jeff couldn’t even play on his phone, or else he’d have to see the flood of text messages. Still, an hour without playing Bejeweled was enough of a sacrifice. Jeweled like Annie’s angry, sad, long overdue furious eyes.

Maybe Words with Friends was a better time killer.

When Jeff finally turned on the phone, there was no flood of missed text messages and calls. Not a flood that he couldn’t erase without looking at, anyway. Yet one text slipped in right as he finished clearing his inbox.

One from Leslie Knope, no less.

Come to the parks department after work. We need to talk. Councilwoman Leslie Knope.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After two more hours of rare insomnia, and brief temptation to go to J.J’s for a last meal, Jeff made his way back to City Hall at sunset. By then, all the workers and interns were gone for the day, right on time. But no one would find it weird for Leslie to stay late – which gave her the perfect alibi right there.

Just in case, Jeff merely poked his giant head into the parks department. No one was there to notice it anyway – no one but Leslie.

Jeff let the rest of his body inside, as he saw Leslie’s inside her old parks office. Although she was a City Councilwoman now, it appeared this department could function without a deputy director after all. Thinking about that distracted Jeff as he made the death march to her office.

“Ron, April and Andy are long gone. Tom and Donna have their pre-club warmups, and Jerry broke his own neck for all I know. I figured we’d have all the privacy we needed here,” Leslie explained.

“So you’re gonna murder me in more familiar territory, then?” Jeff ripped the band aid.

“We’ll get to that if we have to,” Leslie stated calmly. “For the record, why do you think I’m gonna murder you?”

“Because I hurt Annie,” Jeff admitted. Saying that out loud really didn’t feel better than barely admitting it to himself. So he went to the other extreme to forget about it.

“God knows how,” he continued defensively. “I finally tell her what she wants to hear, and she cuts my head off. Does she have to punish the whole world like that for my alleged mistakes?” he bragged, but it wasn’t working like he hoped – on Leslie or on himself.

In one last gasp, he said, “She knows damn well I couldn’t have said….feelings stuff back then! I was an asshole pervert and she really was a child! We’re probably still those things! I spared her from being an evil, broken wreck by sparing her from me, and that’s how she thanks me? Ungrateful much? I mean, look at her now, she’s….”

And with that, Jeff’s attempt to forget Annie’s actual words officially failed.

“She thinks I stunted her growth for three years,” Jeff admitted. “She thinks she’s been a little girl all this time. Because I let her feel that way instead of telling her anything real. Because….I only thought about how I looked and how I didn’t want to feel. Not about her.” He paused and confessed, “Yep, I see how that’d be death sentence worthy to you.”

“You were a steamroller,” Leslie started, without any machetes in hand.

“That’s….not the most graphic word for it, I guess,” Jeff commented.

“It fits,” Leslie assured. “If I have it right, all you cared about is what you wanted. You didn’t think about what she was thinking, or how hard any of it was on her. You just assumed she’d be there, no matter how much you strung her along. But you were so oblivious and self-centered, you didn’t know how much you were killing her inside. Until she broke down and never wanted to see you again.”

For all of her cutting remarks, Leslie didn’t sound that mad. She even sounded a little sad. Jeff wasn’t prepared for that – but it was better than thinking about how dead on she really was. So he merely commented, “She didn’t say that last part.”

“Not yet. Or maybe she did and you didn’t listen. If she wants something that you don’t, why the hell would you?” Again, as angry as those words were on paper, the way she delivered them wasn’t angry at all.

But how could something that weird be so….accurate anyway?

“Where are you getting this from? Donna wasn’t that graphic on Twitter, for once,” Jeff inquired. Leslie just continued to unsettle him by staying stable. With a look that resembled that scary one whenever Annie was…..surprisingly understanding.

“Ben might have been wrong about you. And not in the way I figured,” Leslie got off topic – supposedly. “It’s obvious he thought you were just like him, even though the butt alone….” She scoffed, but continued, “But if all that stuff you did was true….”

Leslie now finally started to frown, and Jeff put his defenses back up. Yet instead of attacking him, she seemed to be struggling to say something. “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m gonna say this. I mean, you still like Eagleton spas more than Spa-nee, I know it! But….” she trailed off and groaned again.

But at last, she said, “You’re not like Ben! You’re….you’re like me.”

She was good. Making him too confused to see the death blow coming. She was scary good. But she made the mistake of thinking that could ever make sense.

Right?

“I steamroll over people I love all the time too,” Leslie admitted. The too in that sentence, and what it implied about Annie, made Jeff ready to interject. Or it would have if Leslie gave him any room to interrupt. “Especially when I break up with them. Like I did last year with Ben.”

Jeff could only listen as she explained, “All my life, all I wanted was higher office. That’s who I was supposed to be. Sleeping with my boss, and getting tarred and feathered in a City Council campaign for it....it just didn’t fit into that. Even when the Tar and Feather Act was repealed two months earlier! Can’t tell you how much the feather lobby tarred us for that one.”

Jeff shook off that latest Pawnee fun fact, and eventually, Leslie did too. “But as much as I liked sleeping with my boss, I never considered keeping him. I couldn’t break up with him myself, but I never thought about picking him over my campaign, or having them both. Not back then.”

“Because you’re…..” Jeff asked cautiously.

“Because that kind of woman who picked a man over a job was not Leslie Knope!” Leslie insisted. “I believed it for so long, the idea of being anything else was just….foreign and wrong to me. So I chose voters, strangers and campaign staffers over him….I mean, what else could I do?”

Jeff knew he wasn’t supposed to answer, so he let Leslie do it for him. “I let him do all the breaking up and live with the sad stuff. What did I care? I had an election to win and it couldn’t get sidetracked by love stuff – stuff I was never supposed to want or have! But I couldn’t cut him off either, even if he wanted to…..like that really mattered. So what else could I do?”

Leslie answered herself again with more emotion. “So I let him stay in limbo and pretended it was okay. And instead of letting him move on, I dragged him through abandoned lots, destroyed model UN’s and derailed small parks to keep him around. Who does that to someone they….were too scared to really love?”

“I’m guessing part of that answer’s me?” Jeff finally spoke.

“We’re getting to you, this is still about me!” Leslie interrupted, then sighed. “See, there I go again. You know, Annie looks up to me as this selfless hero! But I’m probably just as selfish and self-centered than you. I got so good at it, I almost lost Ben. I should have lost Ben. I was gonna let myself lose him, right up until he almost left the smallest park last year! Two more seconds of being scared and I would have….”

Leslie looked away from Jeff, willing herself not to cry and largely succeeding. Yet it didn’t make much difference. Jeff already knew everything she was feeling – which was probably the point.

To do it, she was showing a side to her not even Annie had seen. Maybe not even Ben sometimes. This wasn’t the goofy, super woman Leslie Knope he was used to Annie raving about. Like Annie, this was someone who’d survived harder challenges than her peppy exterior suggested – and had chosen to show that to Jeff, of all people.

It was a trust that Jeff found himself taking more and more seriously. And that included her words too.

When she was ready, she continued, “I wasted months not being as happy as I should have been. All because I thought being with him wasn’t that important, or was just too wrong. And it didn’t matter how right it felt to me. Not until I was seconds from losing him forever. When I think about how close I came to not being so….deeply, ridiculously happy now, I…..”

She held her sadness back again and finished, “If I had let him go, I wouldn’t have anything now. So I’ll be damned if I stand by and let someone else top my mistake. Even you. Especially when it comes to Annie. I think we both agree she’s had enough of that crap.”

Jeff could only nod, holding back his own sadness. But before he gave himself over to it, his usual defense mechanisms pointed out something Leslie missed.

“But Ben took you back. You made up for letting him go. I’m not that….” Jeff felt his own self-loathing coming on – which certainly fit better on him than Leslie. Which helped back up the larger point.

“Look, whether I’m you or not, I don’t know you that well. I didn’t care to when I got here, and you didn’t either. Frankly, it took me long enough to tolerate Annie’s sunshine-y look on life. Let alone yours,” Jeff got honest.

“That sounds about right for me too. I’d put in more….descriptive words than sunshine-y about you, though,” Leslie stated. But Jeff couldn’t let that get him off track.

“But you’re Annie’s role model. And you’re Ben’s fiancée. So you’re obviously a really good person,” Jeff truthfully complimented.

“Not always,” Leslie admitted despite smiling a bit.

But Jeff kept the truth coming by added, “Well, you’re still way better than me. You obviously deserved to get that good stuff back, break up or not. I’m….another matter. Today probably proved it. Like I needed more proof.”

“You’re right. You don’t deserve her,” Leslie unsurprisingly backed up. “Not on paper, anyway,” she got more surprising. “But if you watched me during my breakup, you’d think I didn’t deserve Ben either. Maybe the whole thing about deserving someone is overrated.”

“It has its place when it’s necessary,” Jeff interjected.

“It really doesn’t,” Leslie countered. “The best people don’t think they ‘deserve things.’ People who got hurt so bad when they were teenagers….they think that’s all they deserve. They think it so much, they can’t see just how special and wonderful they really are. Or how the crap they survived made them so much stronger and better. They just see what some know-nothing jerks think about them.”

“What if you are one of those know-nothing jerks?” Jeff asked.

“If I can smarten up, you can too,” Leslie answered. “The guy I saw on her birthday and New Year’s seemed to know some things.”

“That guy’s….not Jeff Winger,” Jeff confessed. “I spent all my life trying not to be that guy.”

“So did I,” Leslie said with little awareness. “But being him doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you so much better.”

“For people that have a death wish,” Jeff insisted.

“For anyone!” Leslie raised her voice. “And who says you have to be one guy or another? I’m still both! The Leslie Knope who loves her career and serving Pawnee? She isn’t gone just because I love a man more! It’s just that now I have someone who makes her better. Someone who isn’t scared off by how crazy, oblivious and passionate I am….someone who sees all that and loves me so much anyway.”

Leslie got emotional in a happy way this time. “I never really thought someone could love me like that. Not all of me. But by some miracle, I got it, and I got everything else I ever wanted too. I just finally had the guts to have it all because it was all worth it. I mean, did I want to evolve, or just settle for who I am? Who I thought I was?”

“What did you say?” Jeff broke in.

“Do you evolve, or do you just be who you are? I think that was it? Anyway, the right answer was both. And I can be both with Ben. I’m the best of both because I have Ben,” Leslie admitted. “Women and men like that are too special to keep passing up. Don’t you think?”

“Yes, they are,” Jeff said before he could stop himself. Before his consciousness really took in what Leslie was saying. But his unconsciousness had taken in too much to be overridden now – and had already felt ignored for far too long.

That was the best internal excuse Jeff had to ask, “Does that mean you want me to stop passing up Annie?” to Leslie.

“Oh, we’re not there yet,” Leslie became all business again. “There’s a lot more we need to go over first.” She sat straight up, looked Jeff dead in the eye and asked, “What are your intentions toward my intern? Toward my friend?”

“What are you, her mom too?” Jeff joked/squirmed.

“I should be so lucky,” Leslie responded. “It’s painfully clear no one’s ever cared enough about Annie to do this for her. So I’m going to be very thorough on this, and you’re gonna do the same. Okay?”

There was the fear Jeff expected from Leslie from the beginning. Only this was the kind of fear he felt from Shirley in Mom mode – and even Annie in her kind of Mom mode. There was no hiding the truth from them – and Leslie already showed he couldn’t hide anything from her either. Not anything she didn’t already know.

He was fully exposed, and they both knew it. The only obstacle left was to admit it all out loud. Starting by answering her first question; “Is all this because you want to sleep with her? Or do you want more? And not just more than one sex thing!”

Jeff smirked at the unnecessary clarification, but that only bought him so much time. He searched deep inside for the most honest answer he could give – despite having little experience at it. Maybe that was why he settled on his usual fallback, “I don’t know.”

But this time, he didn’t mean it like usual. As he saw Leslie huff, he moved to explain that better.

“I mean that I literally don’t know!” he said, not even caring who he sounded like. “I spent my whole life avoiding real relationships. I honestly don’t know what it feels like to want one. Or to do one!” That made him come down and admit, “That should disqualify me then and there, right?”

“I don’t have a rulebook for this. I could write two of them in an hour, but the fun stuff can wait now,” Leslie answered.

“Well, I’ve got a good rule No. 1. If someone has no idea how to have a real relationship, they have no right starting with Annie. Especially when….” Jeff steeled himself to be this open. “When all the rotten things he’s done to her….aren’t even close to what he can still do.”

With one last bit of bravery, he quietly finished, “Or what that would do to him.”

“All right, fine, you’re lousy at love, we get it. But what if you weren’t?” Leslie interrupted. “I don’t like focusing on bad stuff. The one time I did, I almost lost Ben. So we’re going positive from now on.”

“There’s no good reason to ignore –“ Jeff said while he could.

“Pretend! Don’t you do that all the time in Greendale?” Leslie asked. “Let’s just pretend, for a minute, you weren’t emotionally stunted and gave mini-horses real respect. If you were anyone other than big, bad Jeff Winger, what would you do in a relationship with Annie?”

This was a laugh in a few ways. She was trying to help Annie, yet making him forget he was Jeff Winger would do anything but. Then he’d forget he was the guy who destroyed every woman he touched – at least every woman who had a soul. Or every woman who had a soul and who wasn’t already Britta’d up.

These last three years were one long struggle not to forget who he was – and to protect Annie accordingly. Even in those off moments when he wondered who needed protecting. Who was really broken enough that one more blow like this would be the end of him – her?

Hell, Annie looked shattered enough this afternoon. All because of everything he did not to shatter her!

And look what she thought because of it. Look at all the wrong, stupid things….

“I’d never let her doubt she was a grown up again,” Jeff heard himself answer.

When his brain caught up, it wanted to backtrack and cover up those feelings. Yet it betrayed Jeff by remembering how miserable Annie looked today. And remembering how unfair that was. Especially when he could have done something first.

“I’d let her know she had nothing to be ashamed of. Not her feelings, not her fantasies, not her ‘little girl’ moments, not anything,” Jeff spouted. “None of it should make her feel like anything less than a….”

Now he backtracked, not out of fear – but because “princess” was an old term to use for Annie. Maybe an outdated one. Plus Leslie didn’t seem like someone fond of princess labels. So he modified it with something better.

“A queen. If I could, I’d clue her in that she’s a queen,” Jeff only cringed at his sappiness for one second. It would have been more, but something else dawned on him. “You and me….we’re the only ones who really know that. Aren’t we?” he asked Leslie.

Leslie’s disappointed frown was all he needed to hear on that. Yet he still said, “I get how you see it. I’ll never understand how I’m lucky enough to figure it out. Especially when she forgets it so much. For one jackass reason or another.” He sighed and admitted, “If I wasn’t me, I’d remind her and everyone else every single day.”

Jeff stewed from his own sentiment at first – then from remembering the cost of not being that sappy earlier. In front of someone other than Leslie. But Leslie still interrupted, “Go on. What else is imaginary Jeff doing?”

Jeff closed his eyes, still amazed his imagination was this gooey. But after years of using it for selfishness, ego and self-loathing, this one burst of brightness felt….intoxicating. Just like Annie was for Jeff in general. God, he was crazy.

“If I wasn’t me, she’d know she’s not the crazy one,” Jeff muttered, closing his eyes deeper as he lost himself. “She’d know someone can care for her more than she cares for him. She’d know someone didn’t care how messed up she used to be. That someone thinks she’s the strongest and toughest person in the world, not a walking, childish punch line!”

Jeff felt his mouth moving funny as he continued, “Once she knew that, she’d be honored for it. She wouldn’t have to pay for dates anymore, that’s for sure. She wouldn’t put up with people who held her past against her, and who were dumb enough to think it mattered. She’d be loved and cherished all the time for who she is now, not for who she used to be! God forbid someone do for her what she does all the time for me! Us!”

The lame cover up with the ‘us’ did no good, and Jeff knew it. He just kept his eyes closed and tried to feel somewhat like a man again. But those imaginary memories of Annie being properly loved, instead of crying over ignorant people, made it hard to want to be masculine.

“Not bad,” he thought he heard Leslie’s voice say. With a shaky tone, it almost sounded like. “I think we can skip to the last question. Let’s say the Reasonabilists are right someday and Zorp comes to destroy us all. Just pretend to be that deranged for a second. If the world really was gonna end, who would you wanna spend your last day with?”

It was obvious the answer was supposed to be Annie. Even a less than sincere Jeff could fake that answer.

But when Jeff actually got that deranged and imagined it for a second, then said “Annie,” he sounded more….sincere than he thought he was capable of.

Like if the world was going to end, it would be better with her cheering him up. Like a lot of things were.

Like maybe losing other important things – seemingly important things – wouldn’t be so bad if he still had her.

Like maybe getting to the end of the world without experiencing that made it worse. Even if he stayed away and never destroyed her. Just her.

Like maybe just getting to the end without destroying her wasn’t enough. That there were other things he could do. That there were other things he wanted to do – and that maybe he didn’t have to choose one thing or the other. Like Leslie finally didn’t.

If he knew that was an option three years ago…..then what the hell would he have done?

The answer couldn’t be more obvious. And then Jeff felt his mouth moving funny again.

It was moving funny because it was smiling. Really smiling, without a Winger smirk to be found. And he knew damn well why.

“Wow. So that’s why April’s been so grossed out,” he heard Leslie. “Yeah, I can picture that vomit now.”

That brand of sickness, and not the other kind, made Jeff snap out of it and open his eyes. He thought he saw Leslie wipe her own before he could focus. When he did, they were both still for a moment until Leslie got up.

He stayed in his seat as she walked to him, then proceeded to clap his shoulder. Chris did this too many times to count – leaving one or two non-existent marks – but the way Leslie did it felt more meaningful. Accepting.

“You’re okay, Jeff. Keep your dumber beliefs from gullible minds, and you might be on to something,” Leslie declared.

Jeff was never someone who needed approval -- no matter what psychotherapist lies Britta made up. He only needed people to see he was awesome so they could spread the truth, nothing more. Some peppy government woman calling him “okay” was not high on his list of goals.

But this wasn’t just approval from a peppy government woman. It almost felt like it was approval from Annie’s mother. Or a really older sister.

Whatever it was, someone really close to Annie Edison actually seemed to believe…..he was good enough for her. Just as he was, ugly past and all – but nothing else ugly – he was enough. From the lips of someone who even Jeff regarded as Annie’s clone.

But she wasn’t her clone. There was only one Annie Edison.

Unfortunately, Leslie was the only Annie who liked Jeff right now, believe it or not. When Jeff remembered to believe it, it brought him down right on cue.

“None of this matters. I had my chance, and my stupid past screwed it up. She doesn’t want to talk to me. What the hell would I even say?” Jeff lamented.

“Um, some of that stuff a minute ago was kind of good. I can write the whole transcript in eight minutes. Maybe seven, if I really need to stop typing every 40 seconds,” Leslie rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter, I can’t say that stuff to her!” Jeff complained. “I can say it to you cause you’re not her! And only barely! It’s….less risky to tell you,” he admitted. “When it comes to telling her real things….I don’t have the moves.”

Admitting he didn’t have moves should have been the last straw before the earth swallowed Jeff whole. At this moment, he didn’t know what the hell Earth was waiting for. If it was waiting for Leslie to say something, he really wished she would get moving.

Finally she lit up and said, “If you don’t have moves….then maybe you can borrow some of mine.”

The earth let Leslie run to her seat and dial her cell phone. Hopefully the earth knew something good that Jeff didn’t. But it didn’t sound like it once Leslie answered, “Hello, Annie?”

She quickly signaled Jeff to keep quiet – at least it looked like a quiet signal. Maybe he was too busy trying not to top Chris’s best marathon time to notice.

Whatever it was, he was still there when Leslie said, “This is Leslie Knope from City Council, coming to you live from the parks department. Something urgent just came up. I need you to meet with me right away.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie sets up Annie for a visit from Jeff

The smallest park. Originally built to be, well, the smallest park in history. But its real place in history would be the location where Ben and Leslie came to their senses, forever.

It was a story Leslie told Annie so many times since she came here. Annie lost count at about 55. As such, she wasn’t that amazed when Leslie asked for an urgent work meeting at the smallest park. Even if the timing wasn’t that perfect.

Every time she came here, imagining Leslie and Ben’s romantic reunion and all that followed lifted Annie’s heart. But today….really wasn’t a good day for thoughts like that. Therefore, she made herself hope Leslie would get here soon, share her work updates and let her go.

Despite her unease, Annie got there right on time. But when it was a minute later and Leslie still wasn’t there, she got worried. After 10 minutes, she was almost ready to call the cops – after all, Ben sure as hell wasn’t going to call them.

But before she reached for her phone, she saw a shadow coming towards her. Annie sighed in relief – yet all her relief vanished when she saw the shadow was much taller than Leslie. And had much more product in his hair.

“Where’s Leslie?” Annie instantly asked when she recognized Jeff. As long as she focused on Leslie, she wouldn’t have to think about anything else. “What did you do with her?” she overcompensated.

“Nothing. She chose not to put a listening device on me. I have no idea how I talked her out of it, but there you go,” Jeff explained less than clearly. But after rehearsing his lines with Leslie, and talking her out of spying on him to make sure he got it right, his brain could only ponder so much.

“She let you come here? To our business meeting?” Annie said, before realizing there’d be no ‘business’ tonight.

“Of course, it was her idea. Not that I didn’t want it to be her idea! Or that it wouldn’t have been my idea!” Jeff poorly backtracked. At least it reminded him what a bad idea it’d be to get off script. He stabilized with, “If she set you up to hear me out, that’s gotta say something about what I have to say. Right?” he hoped.

Annie wondered if it said anything good about Leslie, and that was truly troubling. So much so that she had to concede Jeff’s point – if only for that reason. “What do you have to say, then?” she asked while she was slightly prepared.

Jeff ran through everything he and Leslie reviewed one last time. He knew he couldn’t improvise anything 100 percent real to Annie – nothing he couldn’t resist denying later, anyway. Since this was his very last chance, Leslie gave him a break and let him borrow all her words from her reconciliation with Ben, at this very park.

Of course, since Annie heard the story so many times, some words had to be Jeff’s. So he brainstormed a few short paragraphs and incorporated them into his borrowed remarks. Which he would have to start saying now, without sounding too rehearsed.

“I never listened to what you wanted,” Jeff said, remembering Leslie’s words so far. “Or how you wanted us to be when things….went south between us,” he slightly tweaked from Leslie at the end. “I just decided what I wanted, and I got upset when you didn’t want the same thing. I know that’s not fair, and I’m very sorry.”

So far, so good. Now he had to add his own prepared words, before Annie realized where she heard those last ones before.

“I never let you have a choice,” Jeff admitted. “I never gave you a say in what happened between us. Or cared about what you wanted. I’m no better than your mom, or those jackass high school kids who rejected you without your permission.” That wasn’t the best case for him, but it was the most honest.

“Jeff, you….” Annie almost threw him off by interrupting.

“Annie, please let me finish while I still remember everything,” Jeff insisted, but sighed and corrected, “I mean, if that’s what you want.”

“Well….okay, I want that,” Annie said, a tinge of teasing in her voice. This brought a slight smile to both of them, but Jeff got back on track before he forgot any more words.

“I’d like to say I didn’t let you make your case because I knew you’d convince me. Because I knew I’d like it if you convinced me,” Jeff said. “But honestly, I just didn’t want to hear any of it. It was easier to let you believe that your thoughts and feelings were stupid. I….never want you to think that ever again. If that’s what you want,” he said again.

Given how late this was, a part of Annie still felt hollow and unsatisfied. Another part of her hated feeling that way, and another part felt too weary to believe Jeff was sincere this time. But for now, the rest of Annie was beginning to feel moved, in some way. “Thank you. I appreciate that,” she got out.

“Good. Because I want you to have a say in your own future from now on. Whether that includes me or not,” Jeff made himself say, getting back to Leslie’s words – and the very big risk they brought. “If you’ve had enough, and you don’t want any more contact with me after graduation….I finally understand.”

“I don’t want that,” Annie instantly said, filling Jeff with relief. She began to feel better too, continuing, “Of course I don’t want that. No matter how mad you make me…..I could never want you out of my life.”

Annie chose not to feel weak and co-dependent from that, as Jeff’s small smile made that easier. She wanted to cling to that smile a while longer, before she had to wipe it off. When she had all she could stand, she took the plunge and said, “But….”

“Oh, there’s the but,” Jeff noted, trying to sound level. He was expecting this – and in truth, it would set up his/Leslie’s counterpoint much better.

“But wanting anything else has hurt me too much,” Annie admitted. “Figuring myself out, figuring you out….it’s just too much. Heck, I can’t even do that right. And it’s made me something I shouldn’t be. Look how I attacked you today. You earned most of it, but….some of it was over the line.”

“It’d be much easier to believe that. For three years, anyway,” Jeff improved.

“Three years is enough to get the message,” Annie kept going. “I survived and gave up so much to get this far. To be the person I’ve always wanted to be. But I haven’t been that person when it comes to you and me. No matter whose fault it is. Maybe that’s the lesson here.”

“You’re usually good at those,” Jeff tried to get one joke in, before the harder stuff started.

“This one’s telling me I can’t be a real adult and still have feelings for you. Even if you have them too. It’s just done too much to me. You, my conscience, Greendale, the whole universe sometimes….everything keeps trying to tell me that….there’s no way to be with you and be grown up too. And I’m tired of arguing with it,” Annie sighed. “It’s cost me too much already.”

If Jeff trusted himself in any way to say the right thing, he’d argue that point to the death with her, and the universe. He knew he should have at least tried anyway.

Yet this was too important to leave to chance, improvising and his questionable choice of words around Annie. Better to stick to Leslie’s words once he had the chance.

“I don’t want to drool over you or fight with you anymore. Not when I love -- like doing everything else with you. If I’m not allowed to do anything else, at least I have that,” Annie confessed. “Maybe we could just get back to that. Then close the door on the rest once and for all. That’s probably the mature thing to do. For once, that’s what I want to do.”

Annie kept telling herself it was what she wanted – if not just what she needed to want. Or just what she was allowed to want. Meanwhile, Jeff kept telling himself in his head to stick with the plan, and nothing more for the next few moments. No matter what else was building up in his brain.

If he could trust his mouth and stomach to just repeat his brain word for word, it’d be different—but here he was. “I did say I’d let you have a say in things. It’d be dickish of me to take it back already. Even for me,” Jeff settled on saying.

“Oh,” Annie answered. Truthfully, she expected more of a fight from Jeff. Only expected it, not anything else. If he really had feelings for her all along, he should have fought. But since when did he do that? 

Maybe this afternoon was all one last giant lie – one last giant Jeff lie she’d gone crazy over. One last bit of humiliation because….

Because of something that didn’t matter anymore. Those last few seconds only made it clearer. If the only way to really grow up and be the best Annie Edison was to drop all this forever, it had to be done.

Thinking about anything else, what Jeff meant or not and what she meant or not….couldn’t possibly be worth it anyway.

“Okay then. Resolved,” Annie resolved to the both of them. It wasn’t worth analyzing Jeff’s face for hidden words that probably weren’t there. “Okay,” she repeated quietly and got on her feet.

She got about 10 feet away until she heard, “There is another option.”

Jeff congratulated himself for finally working that in. Now all he had to do was say “We could just say screw it, and do this thing for real,” just like Leslie did with Ben. Then he’d saying “I miss being close to you like crazy, I think about you all the time….I want to be with you. So let’s just say screw it.”

And at some point, he’d add, “I know how I feel, and I want to be with you. But I’m done steamrolling. This is how I feel, how do you feel?” Perhaps Annie would recognize those were Leslie’s words by then. But Jeff hoped she’d be too ready to kiss him to notice, just like Ben was after hearing those words.

By their example, it was all set up perfectly.

But when Annie turned around to face him, Jeff still froze up. Even when he knew exactly what to say, he still froze up when it came time to put up.

Yet this didn’t feel like his normal freezing up.

Usually, Annie didn’t say those cutting, depressing things before he got too cowardly to say anything. Usually, he didn’t feel this guilty. And usually, he’d jump at the chance of using the easy way out – in this case, using someone else’s words.

But they weren’t enough. He knew that the second Annie started talking, and he really knew it by looking at her now. Looking at her fighting that last bit of hope down, and succeeding when he wouldn’t say anything -- just like she figured.

Ben ran back to Leslie after her confession because he still loved her. Because they were both so ridiculously in love, all it took was one 30-second scene of truth to wash away months of hurt feelings. They were that inevitable together. Jeff and Annie weren’t.

But if they were, then Annie deserved so much more than someone else’s words. Something more than both Leslie Knope and Jeff Winger. Something that was true.

Normally, that would be Jeff’s cue to back away, pretend this meant nothing and leave for ‘her own protection.’ Yet as he just noted, it was time to be more than Jeff Winger.

“Screw it,” Jeff said as planned -- but he didn’t follow up with Leslie’s lines. “Leslie gave me a speech, but screw it. I’m not Leslie, you’re not Ben, and I need to be me around you. For once.”

“You’re not Leslie?” Annie asked curiously, suppressing everything else for the moment.

“Nope. Leslie and you are adults. I’m not,” Jeff simply said. He forgot his fear of improving and messing up, and just spoke the plain, honest truth. After all the effort he used to lie over the years, not having to use any tricks or deflections felt….easier. Simpler. Overdue.

“You think you can’t be a grown up with me. Well, I know I can’t be one without you,” Jeff confessed to the both of them.

“You’ve done some grown up things without me,” Annie noted.

“Barely. Yeah, I got through facing my dad without you. Then I did the aftermath without you too, and look how that turned out. That’s how I wound up here!” Jeff recalled. “If I ever get out of Greendale, I’m gonna need more than my job back to survive out there. I’m gonna need….someone else,” he kind of chickened out at the end. But he could live with that in small doses.

“So you need me just for you,” Annie misinterpreted, on purpose or not.

“No! Well, yes, in a way. But a better way than usual!” Jeff explained. “Being the person who cheers you up, reminds you who you really are, and helps show idiots you’re the greatest woman they’ll ever meet….that’s something to get a big ego over. Especially since I’d be the first guy smart enough to take that job full time. I’ll need that kind of resume boost soon anyway, so I might as well take it now.”

He was joking without being mean, and he told her the sweeter things he wanted to do for her. Still so far, so good. It fueled Jeff to inch further and add, “I’m tired of making you think that you’re not enough. You’ve always been enough. For anyone, if not always for me. But it’s always enough now. In every way.”

He dared to add, “Well, the grade-crazy stuff’s been iffy sometimes. But for someone who knows your value beyond grades, it’s nothing I can’t remind you of now and again.”

“How can I believe you?” Annie interrupted. The mixture of butterflies, nerves and overthinking was too much for her to keep quiet now.

“Annie, I should have been there for you before the foot rub. That’s on me, not your grade crazy. And the fact he isn’t on year one of his three-year coma right now is on me too. But when we get back –“ Jeff started.

“That’s not it! I mean I don’t believe the other stuff you said!” Annie jumped in. “You’ve either been putting me on a pedestal or making me feel like a kid for years! And you were lying half the time anyway!”

“About the kid stuff, obviously,” Jeff answered.

“You’ve lied so much, I have no way to really know,” Annie replied. “I’m so used to thinking I’m the crazy one who feels way too much. Now I don’t know what’s true or not anymore. Especially from you.”

“You want crazy honesty? Fine by me,” Jeff spurted out. This should have set off more red flags than ever, but Jeff just kept tuning them out. Again, to his surprise, it felt so much easier.

“I remember having at least three dreams about you during that first summer. The first time I dreamed far enough that we cuddled after sex, was after the class president mess. I willingly talked with Rich twice about being a fake better man, for you, until I reached my Rich limit. I thought we’d be sleeping together after Pierce left, and I stopped dreading it after the first week of summer. You’re the only human being I’ve ever seen when I looked in my heart, and you’ve been the only Mrs. Winger in my head too! Now who’s the schoolgirl that feels more, huh?!” Jeff finished on a roll.

When he came down from that roll, the old feelings of idiotcy, shame and regret started coming back. To say nothing of that old familiar fear.

“You don’t mean that….” Annie said, as quietly as Jeff had ever heard her. Seemed like the shame and regret had pretty good timing.

But if they were coming back, he might as well admit one or two more things before his window closed forever – both by himself and by Annie. His fate was probably already sealed anyway.

“Annie, I’ve said billions of things I don’t mean. At least 300 million of them were to you. Would I say stuff about my heart and being married to you, with a straight face, without throwing up, if I was just lying? Does that sound like me?” Jeff landed a big point. “I can’t pull off pretending to care about that stuff, you know that! So why would I say it unless I meant it? With you?”

While he had her there, Jeff kept having her with, “You don’t ever have to worry about feeling too much. I’ve done enough of that for the both of us.”

He swallowed thickly and added, “So if you’re worried about me committing? Let’s just say that if the trillion, billion things that’d have to happen before I ever considered marriage happened with you….I think I’d be okay with it. I still need a trillion, billion things first! But….getting that far would never be off the table. Not with you.”

Annie didn’t know what to do with that. Few women might – especially one who’d never heard anyone commit to her that much before. Even before they dated. Jeff kind of sensed he went too far too, but before he said so, Annie shakily said, “Please don’t say that to me.”

Jeff easily assumed the worst, but Annie didn’t notice. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want anything – not Jeff, her own heart, her own brain or her own screwed up soul – to distract her from talking. If she listened or saw any of them, she’d be too overwhelmed to ever speak again.

“Even if you’re the one who feels more, then I really can’t get carried away. If both of us have our heads in the clouds, this can’t work,” Annie theorized. But she was talking about them working now, so Jeff barely kept himself from cheering.

“I can’t let myself think we’d have some storybook romance anymore. Even if you do. You might treat me like a princess for a month, but inevitably, you’d screw up and make me mad at you again. And I’d do the same to you,” Annie said. “If I’m stuck in naive fairy tale land, I’d just let it all slide until you made the same mistakes next week. And I do that all the time already. So please….don’t promise things that’ll make it easier for me. Especially things like that….”

Now her screwed up brain and soul were too distracting. But after imagining romantic fantasies with Jeff for years, finally hearing he had them too – and fighting like hell not to get carried away by them – how could she be anything but too jumbled up?

“I can’t promise that,” Jeff said, making it worse.

“Jeff, I’m trying to be realistic here!” Annie insisted, hoping against hope to feel in control again.

“I don’t want realistic, I want Annie!” Jeff said almost like a child. “I wanted that to come out better,” he recovered to say, which made Annie bite back a tiny smile.

“I want the exact same Annie I’ve known and…..admired for four years. Romantic dreamer and all. Anything else just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I want you to get silly and romantic because of me, and I don’t want you to feel like a princess for just one or two months. I….” Jeff paused, not because he was scared, but because this next line really was too much. Even romantic dreamer Jeff had limits.

“I want to make you feel like a queen, for as long as you’ll let me,” he mumbled quickly anyway. Romantic dreamer Jeff had limits, starting now.

But all of Annie’s limits were being tested even harder. She willed herself not to melt, but thinking about her words made her wonder why. Yet she remembered all the sweet words and gestures of the past, and how they were erased by half-truths, thoughtlessness and condescension a week or two later.

If he was this open and thoughtful now, how much more crushing would it be when he went back to the old Jeff? If he did?

Of course he would eventually. Especially if he wanted to be together for…..that long. Was it mature or childish to want that? Like she had any idea.

“But all that future stuff can wait,” Jeff interrupted, knowing he’d gone overboard before seeing Annie’s uncertainty. “I don’t know how to give you that anyway. Not until I get the small steps right first. The best way to start….is by asking you out on a date. We don’t even have to go to J.J.’s.”

The J.J’s name dropping made Annie laugh, giving her a precious two seconds to think clearly. “You want to go on a date? Here? Tonight?” she tried to clarify.

“Tonight, tomorrow, anytime. We both had a rough day, so doing it tonight might cancel it out. Of course you don’t have to agree,” Jeff again avoided steamrolling. “But if you wanted to relax with a drink or dinner, at a place without marshmallow gun fights….I could escort you. I got nothing better to do. Even if I had anything at all to do.”

Jeff wondered if he tried too hard to lighten up. Perhaps one more sappy bit would have to do. “I’ve never had a date with sex off the table. Not without plans to put it on the table. Or anywhere….” he narrowly made himself stop right there.

When Annie just rolled her eyes, in the way that never failed to amuse him, he wanted to keep going on the right track.

“But I’d like it with you. And I’d like a date like that at Greendale too, if you liked it here. I’d like whatever pace you want. But before I do all the big things, the first thing I really want is…..and you’re gonna have to bare with my groans through this,” Jeff warned, then groaned and steeled himself for one final syrupy confession.

“I want my best friend back,” Jeff finally said through gritted teeth and an unsettled stomach – for at least two reasons. “So would she have dinner with me?” he let out in one last bit of word vomit. Now his stomach felt better – depending on Annie’s answer.

Annie wished she had new ways to figure out that answer. All she was doing in her head was having the same old debates, heartache, doubts and guilt she was….getting so tired of.

First she screwed up by being ignorant of how far her childishness went. Now she couldn’t make a decision without thinking it might not be grown up. Especially as Jeff kept insisting there was nothing childish about her all along – not when it came to Jeff, at least.

She was so tired of feeling paralyzed and guilty about being herself. Yet she was still too aware of all the mistakes she’d made as well. All she wanted this whole time was to make up for years of mishaps, be better and prove she was good enough. To make these four years of progress worth it and try her best never to relapse again.

To do….

…..exactly what Jeff was asking right now.

To do what she told him she wanted to do three years ago.

All she wanted back then was a chance to prove herself. Even if it meant going slower than she might have wanted. But she claimed she would have been sensitive to Jeff’s needs and lack of intimacy back then, if he would have just talked to her about it that summer.

It was exactly what Jeff was offering right this second. Only it was Annie’s new fear of intimacy and getting carried away that he offered to work around. Either way, he wanted the chance that he himself denied her three years ago.

Well, it would still be poetic justice if she turned him down too. Let him sink downhill and lose himself, and see how he likes it. See what he put her through all this time.

But maybe she’d already done that. Punishing him for old mistakes….mistakes he tried to make up for twice today. And all he’d gotten for it was a scolding and lots of indecision.

Was it really the grown up thing to keep punishing him for it? To keep bashing him for things he was….really trying to make up for? Like she’d been trying to do all this time?

Why put him through the same pain she went through? Both from him and from….

Annie didn’t like to think about her mother in the best of times. But thinking of her now, and the permanent rejection she gave Annie for her own past mistakes, was almost vomit inducing.

Fortunately, she held her stomach at bay. And the more she did, the more it began to stabilize. The more she began to stabilize.

Stability finally came with clarity. With clarity came a real vision of the adult Annie Edison wanted to be.

The same kind she’d been all along.

Jeff and so many others called her naïve for seeing good in everyone, especially when it came to Pierce. In Pierce’s case, that was misguided a few times that one year. But looking past faults, forgiving mistakes and giving people a second chance to be better….it wasn’t naïve.

It was Annie trying to be the person she was never lucky enough to meet before Greendale. The person she’d largely been this whole time.

To be that person now meant not being an adult like her mother, who never forgave Annie or let her prove she could be better. Not the right way.

It meant being an adult like Jeff, who could have cut her out for good so many times. Yet he looked past her mistakes and flaws and kept giving her another chance – no matter what the reason.

It meant being an adult like her friends, who could have had enough of her many times over. Yet every time she annoyed them or nagged them to death, they stood by her – whether they just needed her for the grades or not.

It meant being like Leslie and Ben, who could have let the mistakes of their breakup destroy them for good. But when they gave each other one more chance, they never looked back. And when Leslie gave Jeff another chance, she apparently inspired him to….ask Annie for one more chance too.

There was only one way to be a true grown up tonight, and be the Annie she’d fought so hard to be. And it wasn’t by being ashamed of who she was anymore, or by being bitter about the past. She hadn’t been any of those things for years anyway – not until she convinced herself she had to be.

Maybe she didn’t have to anymore. Or do the rest on her own.

But she wasn’t doing this blind either. Not like with Pierce and Jeff two years ago.

Jeff wanted more, but he said he’d settle for a chance first. Then that’s what he’d get.

After the longest minute of both their lives, Annie told Jeff out loud, “Just dinner? I think I know a place other than J.J.’s for that. I can lead the way.”

No matter how necessary and freeing it was, being completely open was exhausting for Jeff. After letting his face explode with joy for one second, he knew he’d waste too much energy if he went on further. And he needed to save some of it for their first date.

So he put back on the Jeff Winger poker face he made himself and others know so well. He just nodded and said, “Of course. Lead on,” which might have overdone it. Yet with the way he still felt over her acceptance, he knew some kind of twinkle in his eyes and mouth was shining through somewhere.

Annie saw it right away, but she decided not to indulge until after dinner. Besides, all this life-changing talk was starting to make her hungry.

The smallest park was where Leslie and Ben furiously hugged and made out after getting back together – and hadn’t really stopped for over a year. But there would be no hugging, kissing or vows to defy the law after this reconciliation.

All Jeff and Annie did was walk out together, without even touching each other. And yet they both felt as free from that as much as any kiss and hug. Waiting three years for such comfort could do that.

Halfway through their walk, Jeff pulled out his phone, but hesitated to start texting. “Leslie’s only sent 18 text messages in the last 10 minutes. I guess she kept her word not to spy on us. But if I tell her we’re having dinner, you know she’s gonna crash it.”

Annie thought and responded, “Don’t bother. I’ll just tell her about it tomorrow. I’ve got a lot of things to tell her tomorrow anyway.” She paused and added, “And we’re double dating with her and Ben before we leave. That’ll finish making it up to her.”

Annie realized she got ahead of herself before even starting their first date. But double dating with Leslie and Ben – like hell she wasn’t doing that, whether Jeff was her date or not. Another reason Jeff had better stay on his best behavior.

She didn’t have to worry about that now, since Jeff wasn’t sure if he could even touch her. He figured he’d finally be free to do that when he confessed, but he was in greater limbo than ever instead. Still, getting closer than he’d been in his past limbo might not turn out so bad.

As Jeff walked next to Annie, he gradually got closer. His left arm and her right arm were practically touching, as his hand tentatively reached for hers. But he could hold her hand at any time – hopefully. This called for something else.

Once Annie noticed how close their arms were, Jeff slowly held out his arm – like he did to her before the pep rally four years ago. The first time they really had an intimate, touchy moment together. When Annie recognized the callback, she indulged in the emotion and looped her arm around his.

They were arm-in-arm for the rest of the walk. By the time they arrived at the restaurant, Annie had even let her head rest on Jeff’s forearm. When it was time for them to part, Jeff held the door open for her without being told.

By the time he asked for a table for him and “my date,” Annie thought if nothing else, she could pencil him as her double date with Leslie and Ben after all.

And when he paid at the end, he was purple penned in.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie's time in Pawnee comes to an end.

Annie thought a double date with Leslie and Ben would be a dream come true. Once again, she was paying for not knowing better.

It wasn’t that they behaved badly, or that Leslie wasn’t welcoming of her and Jeff. Or that the J.J.’s food wasn’t sickeningly perfect for once. Or that they didn’t go all out for them, since this was their last night before they left Pawnee tomorrow.

It was just that – and Annie couldn’t believe she was even close to thinking this – did they have to be so perfect together?

They just kept laughing at each other’s jokes. And Ben just kept being so interested about Leslie’s day, and vice versa. And when they had that one dispute over how Leslie should handle this year’s budget, they just had to make up so well. Even when Ben suggested libraries could get at least 50 cents.

They really were like Annie’s most girly romantic fantasies, only with real life dialogue and jobs. But this time, she had to see it while she and Jeff were on their second date. While they had enough to sort through without the bar being set even higher.

Maybe they should have had another date before this, to get a few more kinks straightened out. But Annie made another call.

It wasn’t that their first date was awful. It was as perfect as possible, especially after all the pre-date drama. However, Annie knew if it got more perfect, she wouldn’t focus on anything else – and maybe Jeff wouldn’t either.

Yet they both had more to focus on first – like enjoying their last days in Pawnee and Jeff graduating, At the time, Annie was proud for telling him once they got through all that, she could give them the full focus they deserved.

When Jeff agreed – and almost pouted after they stopped their good night kiss – Annie felt even more satisfied. She carried that when she answered Leslie’s 147 questions the next day, and when she navigated her final week at City Hall.

But the more she saw Leslie and Ben act tonight – and be so unattainably in sync and happy – the less secure she felt. Still, it’s not like she could say it and ruin her final night here. Ruin the last night she might ever see these wonderful, perfect, infuriating, freaking soul mates.

“You know, you were right. Dinner waffles do make sense,” Jeff broke Annie’s thoughts in shocking fashion. “I might need that stress relief when I get a real job again. Leslie, you know how they’re made better than anyone on Earth. Would you mind taking me over to show me?”

Annie had no shortage of comments and jokes. But all they’d do was keep Jeff and Leslie in this booth. “Great idea. Ben can keep me company while you tutor him,” she pointed out.

“Okay then. I’ll keep her right here, mi’dear,” Ben rhymed. He was too embarrassed, and Leslie was too amused, to see Jeff and Annie’s jaws drop.

Nevertheless, Leslie giddily led Jeff away, leaving Annie alone with Ben. She forgot her original reason for wanting to be alone with him, and asked, “Did Leslie ever mention the word ‘milady’ to you?”

“I don’t think so. Not even in her sleep,” Ben answered.

Over near the kitchen, Jeff asked Leslie, “You’ve never heard the word ‘milord’ before, right?”

“Nope. That won’t help you master J.J.’s recipe either. Then again, to get that close to Godliness, you’d have to be Diaphena’s mother herself. And not to nitpick, but….”

“No need, I don’t want to know. Not if I want to stay under 400 pounds. I just needed to get you here alone,” Jeff admitted.

Leslie paused, then frowned, “Okay, now I have non-penis reasons to nitpick you. As usual.”

“Well, it’s not like I could have asked you to the wizz palace, right?” Jeff needled, remembering that phrase from one of Annie’s many Leslie stories.

Leslie paused again, this time saying, “Touche, Winger. Begrudging touche.”

“Good. Now can you please begrudge toning it down with Ben?” Jeff asked. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Tone it down?” Ben replied to Annie in their booth. “Did you really ask that?”

“It’s a hoot, I know,” Annie rolled her eyes. “But could you please stop being so adorable? In front of us? For 10 minutes?”

“I wish that was the first time someone asked me that,” Ben commented.

“No you don’t. That makes it more adorable,” Annie sighed. “That’s the kind of adorable….I can’t afford to hope for yet. But you’re making it too hard to remember.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Unbelievable,” Leslie groaned to Jeff. “I let you rip me off at the smallest park, and this is the thanks I get?”

“Technically, I only ripped you off in the first half,” Jeff pointed out.

“And this is the thanks I get?” Leslie repeated. “If my relationship threatens you-“

“Actually, it does!” Jeff interrupted. “Loving crap like that made me sickened by relationships in the first place! Now it’s even more sickening because….” he stopped himself from going further.

“Because it’s too sickening to do that with Annie?” Leslie frowned deeper.

“Because it isn’t,” Jeff gritted out. “It’s more….depressing than anything,” he reached his limit.

Leslie’s frown lightened up, then she grew a little smirk. “Are you telling me you’re jealous of us?” she said with a light brag.

Jeff sighed, answering, “Normally, I’d hide in bathrooms and bring psychopaths in the group by now. The fact I’m not doing that now….well….” he settled on an answer.

“Good thing this is a no Jamm or Tammy or Orin zone,” Leslie mentioned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“It’s not just jealousy. I’ve dealt with that since I knew Leslie existed,” Annie told Ben. “I want what you two have, but I know I won’t get it. Even if me and Jeff work out. That’s okay with me as long as you don’t rub it in.”

“You know Jeff would give you that in an instant. As soon as he could,” Ben defended.

“I can’t push him, though. But I know how pushy I can be. I don’t need to be tempted,” Annie admitted. “I can’t afford to get this wrong. Not after all this. If I wish we’d be like you, or I make him do things he’s not ready for….or maybe I’m not ready for….that’d get it pretty wrong.”

“Well, who says we have the right way?” Ben wondered.

“Anyone who looks at you for two seconds,” Annie said. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I can’t say I’m not flattered,” Leslie informed Jeff.

“Then say something else. Anything that’ll make me stop being sickened by you. And wishing I was you,” Jeff confessed.

“Who says you have to be us?” Leslie asked. “You clearly couldn’t do it last week. No matter how much we rehearsed. And maybe that’s not what Annie wants anyway. Did you even bother to ask her?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I told him I didn’t need that stuff. But you know he never listens to me right away,” Annie told Ben.

“For someone who’s a so-called commitment-phobe, he commits pretty big to something he wants,” Ben reminded. “Now that he’s admitted he wants you, I figure he’ll get it right eventually.”

“What if he does?” Annie asked quietly. “What if we both get it right and then….”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“What if I figure out what she does want? It’ll just make it harder when I screw up anyway!” Jeff blurted out to Leslie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Then you screw up anyway? Like you think you always do?” Ben finished for Annie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I always do,” Jeff further admitted when Leslie didn’t say anything. “Seems like the only way not to screw this up is to be….saps like you two. If I don’t have that in me, even for something this important….”

Jeff didn’t let Leslie butt in for once, continuing, “Is that why she wants to take it so slow? So I can’t screw up right away?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Is that why I’m taking it so slow? So I don’t screw up right away?” Annie questioned Ben.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Annie retreated inside her own head and expected to stay there a while. At least until Ben’s voice barged right in.

“I wish I could say it goes away. That you stop thinking it’s all gonna come crashing down, just because it did when you were a teenager. But after you lose everything, and the only home you’ve ever had…..that kind of screws up your thinking. Even after almost 20 years,” Ben shared. “Of course, some people have it all figured out after four.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be freaking out now, would I?” Annie nitpicked. “At least you were a mayor before teenage you screwed up. And you weren’t on anything when you built Ice Town. But I guess that makes it worse.”

“I stopped guessing a long time ago,” Ben said. “And I stopped thinking I deserved happiness and love, and other things teenage me threw away. You know when that changed?”

“I’ve been glued to the reason why all month. What do you think?” Annie answered.

“Then there you go. You find someone that believes you’re much more than a screw up. Even if you threaten everything they stand for. Or they keep choosing something else over you for a while. But eventually, they believe in you so much, you start believing it too just to shut them up. Then you might even believe it for real,” Ben stated.

“To tell you the truth, I’m almost jealous of how much Jeff believes in you. I think that makes us equal.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Ben said that, Leslie was halfway through telling Jeff all her humiliating, awful breakups. She didn’t even get to the one about being dumped in the shower, or a guy getting on one knee to beg her never to call again, or being dumped by skywriting. But Jeff didn’t want to hear any more.

“Okay, all men other than Ben are pigs, I get it. What’s that got to do with me?” Jeff asked almost piggishly.

“You’re no good at relationships. Get in line,” Leslie ordered. “You don’t have the track record to get one right? Big f’ing deal. You can screw up a billion of them, but you only need to master one. And you found it already, so what’s the problem?”

Before Jeff could contest this, Leslie steamrolled on by. “You found someone who would never do to you what everyone else did. Someone who wouldn’t be cruel and thoughtless just to get you out of their life. You might have given this person every reason to, but it never happened. Eventually, you figure out it never will. Kinda makes you less afraid of getting hurt, right?”

Jeff wished he could agree, but said instead, “She doesn’t need to dump me after I shatter my kneecap. She just has to dump me. After I give her a good reason.”

“People don’t need a real reason to dump you. They just do it. Because they never really liked you,” Leslie theorized. “Love comes and goes. But someone who likes you so much that they’d never ruin you, even at the end? Someone you know would make sure you were okay, and who’d never let you think it was all your fault, even if it was? Now that’s the keeper.”

She finally smiled and added, “And that’s what we both have for some reason. I think that makes us pretty equal.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Jeff hasn’t always believed in me,” Annie shyly said to Ben.

“But he’s done it enough. More than anyone else, I’ll bet,” Ben believed. “Maybe he hasn’t always seen the person behind the screw-ups. Maybe he just saw the little girl, or the mean, fascist hard ass. But he’s seen much more than that. And it helped you see it too, didn’t it?”

Annie’s tiny blush was all Ben needed. “There you go. So even if you’re still a kid or a hard ass sometimes, he won’t care. He’ll still see the person you really are, and he’ll inspire you to show everyone else too. Even if it turns out you’re a nerdy, numbers robot who really doesn’t like chopping budgets with machetes. He’ll like it anyway.”

Annie laughed at Ben’s poor attempt to make this about her. “I guess he might,” she conceded.

“Right. Because he loves you and he likes you.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Even at my worst, I’d never do to Annie what your….rogue’s gallery of ex’s did,” Jeff admitted.

“And that’s why she’ll never do that to you too,” Leslie encouraged. “So quit being afraid that you’ll make her. If you could have, you would have already.”

“I told myself she was too naïve to do it back then,” Jeff stated.

“Nope. She just loves you and likes you.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“It’s a little early for that,” Annie said after she stopped coughing and took a drink of water. “He wouldn’t….I can’t….there’s still way too much to sort out.”

“Then do that. And keep doing what you’re already good at, too. Being there for each other,” Ben offered. “You’re starting a relationship with your best friend. That’s great enough on its own. It doesn’t matter if other couples are better off so far. Or if they have a more…..conventional pace than you do. The rest will come in no time. You might not even resign in disgrace first.”

On that point, Annie laughed – at least after Ben cracked a smile first and made it safe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jeff didn’t even have any words when Leslie said the L word. He barely had a nervous stammer.

“Fine, cling to your denial a little longer, get that out of your system,” Leslie conceded. “You didn’t deny she’s your best friend, though. Annie clued me in on that!”

“Of course she did,” Jeff flatly said.

“Well, there you go. If you can’t trust yourself with your best friend, who can you trust?” Leslie cheered.

“This is my first one, so I wouldn’t know,” Jeff pointed out. “You have two, so you might be too qualified.”

“Oh, yeah,” Leslie remembered. Jeff wanted to make some dirty joke that compared Leslie and Ann’s best friendship to Leslie and Ben’s. But he held back for the sake of generosity and not getting back on Leslie’s warpath. If not for the sake of comedy and fantasy.

“No dirty jokes about me and Ann? I guess you are getting better,” Leslie scarily said.

“Shock of the century, huh?” Jeff responded, while inwardly hoping Annie’s Jeff-mind reading powers hadn’t synced up with Leslie’s. And another dirty joke opportunity passed by.

“Not really,” Leslie surprised him. “Maybe I didn’t see much of the Jeff Annie’s told me about. But I heard enough about him. Heck, I even met him twice. That guy…..he’s been through too much with Annie not to trust her and be safe with her. No matter how slow she’s going, or how fast other lucky people are. That guy really knows what he’s doing.”

Leslie paused and finished, “That guy….he’s the only person I’d consider worthy enough to be Annie’s boyfriend.”

Jeff let all possible comic opportunities pass him by. All he could say, in a serious and semi-touched tone, was, “I hope that’s true.”

“I know. Even after this,” Leslie said cryptically. She then headed back towards the booth, and Jeff realized they had been gone long enough.

When he got back, Leslie suddenly attacked, “I knew you couldn’t be trusted with J’J’s powers! I kept us back there all that time to prove myself wrong, and that’s what I get?! For shame!” Jeff was momentarily offended, but he had no better excuse for their absence, so he sat down and took it.

“Jeff!” Annie scolded. However, she went back and said, “I guess I’ll have to teach you myself when we get home.”

“Well, you’re welcome to him!” Leslie continued to act.

“I am,” Annie said in more ways than one. Jeff wasn’t quite sure that’s how she meant it, but it was comforting to think that.

He gave her a small but appreciative nod, which made Annie bask and do the same for him. Somehow, that erased the last bits of anxiety Leslie and Ben didn’t destroy. Those two gave each other a nod as well, but each of them shortened it so Jeff and Annie wouldn’t get jealous again.

They were content to let Jeff and Annie take over for the rest of dinner, as they talked about going back to Greendale and their last work days in Pawnee. By the time Jeff mentioned Chris’s crying jumping jacks when he left the office for the last time, he and Annie were in their own little world as well.

But Ben and Leslie were still their ride back, as they insisted before going out. However, Leslie suddenly announced she had a big new project idea - which she absolutely had to type up in her office now instead of waiting until tomorrow, or going home like a normal person.

So she drove them all back to City Hall, parked in the dark parking lot and ran off, with Ben following and promising they’d leave by midnight. Jeff grumbled, but knew this was his own damn fault for not planning ahead. Annie grumbled, but only because this was the first project she couldn’t help Leslie with in a month – sadly, the first of millions.

When they finally looked at each other, they didn’t think as much about Leslie. Yet they then heard one of her favorite words since their visit.

“Surprise!”

At that point, the parking lot lights were turned on. Once Annie and Jeff adjusted, Jeff commented, “She’s doing this again?!”

But that was before he actually looked and saw other people near the car. In fact, he saw the entire study group and all of Leslie’s Parks friends. Then he saw party decorations, tables with cake, party favors and games, and a few “Bon Voyage, Jeff and Annie!” banners all around.

“What the hell?” Jeff asked.

“What the hell?” Annie repeated, but with much more of a smile at the end. She got out to greet her old and new friends, as Leslie and Ben came back into view.

“You really thought you’d just get a double date on your last night here?” Leslie laughed.

“Yeah, probably was wishful thinking – I mean, stupid of us,” Jeff barely corrected. He then turned to the study group and asked, “How’d you get roped into this? Shouldn’t you have to suffer through parties in your honor too?”

“We’re getting that in the parks office after midnight,” Abed informed. 

“And did she make you decorate that party too?” Jeff questioned.

“We couldn’t help it! The smiles and the talking and the blondness….she’s like the original Disney puppet mistress!” Troy declared.

“Hey, how come he can out Geppetto and I can’t?” Pierce complained.

“Can we move it along? I wanna get to the party that might not kill me with rats! Or unflattering light!” Tom complained.

“Leslie had us do this here so we could yell ‘Surprise!” one more time. Since we did that, we could just carry all this stuff upstairs and party there,” Ann helpfully pointed out.

“You mean more work? Are you trying to kill us?” April asked. “I told you she was a serial killer from day one. Feed her to the rat king!”

“Who taught you that ‘rats’ needed kings?” Britta asked, getting her groaned out by both groups.

“Okay, so we’re clearly done with work today. You coming to party with us or not?” Donna asked Jeff and Annie.

Jeff sighed, relenting before he even saw Annie’s pleading face. But after seeing it anyway, he got out of the car and asked, “Lead on, mi’dear.” He cringed as soon as he said it, and so did everyone else in Greendale – although Dean Pelton and Chris mixed some poorly concealed cries in.

Annie just paused, then said, “Milord,” sounding more like them.

As per Greendale and Pawnee routine, the two groups got to work partying and getting crazy – even in a parking lot. Jeff and Annie were hailed for their service to Pawnee, and the group kept their questions about their date to a minimum – without Leslie needing to make them back off, unlike last time.

Of course, when they finally went upstairs for the study group’s goodbye party, they were actually surprised by seeing Jerry in the parks office – since no one remembered he wasn’t downstairs, and no one told him there was a parking lot party first. After they cleaned up his mess, they were still able to party until 2:30 a.m.

Somehow, they avoided being too drunk to call a cab home. Naturally, Leslie and Ben got their customary three hours of sleep in, while the parks department got some more z’s in at the office. Jeff and Annie didn’t have work, so they slept in – which for Annie meant only waking up at 8:30 a.m.

It’d be another four hours before her Greendale friends got up, but they didn’t have to go to the airport until 4 p.m. By then, their Pawnee friends would be sober and rested enough to send them off.

With the internships actually over, and with Leslie and Chris having signed off on Jeff and Annie’s college credit, there was no more official need for the Greendale 7 plus 1 to be here.

It was time for them to say goodbye to Pawnee.

Which would be harder in some cases than in others.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Annie kept it together as Leslie and Ben drove her and Jeff to the airport. She even kept it together when the rest of the group and parks department got there too. But when the rest of the group started saying their goodbyes to Leslie and company, she let her eyes and mind wander every so often.

The parts she paid attention to included Pierce saying goodbye to Jerry [and ignoring Jerry’s squirming], Troy and Abed doing their new handshakes with Andy, Britta grumbling through a goodbye with Ron, and Dean Pelton having words with Tom about Rent-a-Swag. But when they were all finished, it was time for Jeff and Annie to say their goodbyes.

Annie steeled herself before she and Jeff got started, in the order they agreed upon. First, they went to Donna, as she and Jeff had one more mini-debate about his Lexus and her Benz. Yet he promised to send her some top notch Lexus pictures when he got back.

When it was Annie’s turn, she wasn’t sure whether to shake Donna’s hand or hug her. But Donna solved it by giving her a hug – and she imagined the sight of her hugging tiny little Annie looked hilarious to everyone. Even if it didn’t feel that way.

She heard Jeff taking a picture behind her, but she could question him in the lobby. Once Annie was released and had her head on straight, she went to Jerry after Jeff finished a dismissive goodbye.

On some level she was kind of ashamed of, she completely got why Jerry was such a punching bag. Yet unlike in other places, this was a place where the punching bag still had a fulfilling life, a beautiful family and an upcoming retirement, so it was still magical. If not so illogical that it almost crippled Annie’s brain – that’s how insane it was.

To preserve her brain, she just gave Jerry a hug, wished him a happy retirement, and kissed him on the cheek. “Ew, she got Jerry germs!” Tom complained next to him. “Now I don’t even want her to kiss me, Jerry! That’s how germy you are!”

To tease him and get some revenge on Jerry’s behalf, Annie leaned over to kiss Tom, but Tom crouched to his knees in fear. “Ah, great, Jerry’s gonna Outbreak us!” Tom whimpered. Annie just rolled her eyes and tapped him on the shoulder, which he still winced at.

“No more wanting kisses with Jerry germs for you,” Jeff said, letting the last of his jealousy surge out.

“Fine, fine!” Tom conceded. “But if Rent-a-Swag gets to Colorado, you gotta save me and Jean-Ralphio seats at L Street, K? We’re gonna stop at this Red Door place first, but after that, we are there!”

“I’ll make sure he lets them know,” Britta jumped in, smirking over his preference. Annie ignored it and went to her next three targets – her two now former roommates and their dog.

Annie knew she wasn’t getting a sincere goodbye from April, so she went to Andy. She gave him a salute and stated, “Officer Dwyer.”

In a rare twist, Andy was on the same page and saluted back by saying, “Inspector Geneva.”

“Oh, and tell Andy I said bye, too,” Annie said quickly, before Abed could correct him promoting Geneva.

“He should have been here himself. But I’ll tell the son of a bitch anyway,” Andy promised. Before Annie tried to make sense of that, Andy hugged her and lifted her up, which made her instinctively giggle.

After Annie tried to hug back and Andy put her down, he went to Jeff and hugged him before he could object. He also tried to pick Jeff up before he could object, but he just threw his back out instead. Although everyone cringed, Andy let Jeff go and shook it off, yet he was still hunched over.

Annie turned to April, hoping that would open her up for a nice goodbye, or at least a shared deadpan look. But it didn’t work, so she bent down to hug Champion instead. “That’s a good boy. Don’t let them stay out in the yard and bark too loud, okay?”

Champion licked her face and Annie giggled again. Jeff tried to bite down a smile – then he noticed it almost looked like April was smiling too. Almost, since that couldn’t be it.

She looked normal again as Annie got up, so Jeff shook it off. April then said, “Fine, go. You’re just as annoying as Leslie, so go annoy them for a while.” But since Leslie was one of April’s rare soft spots, Annie took it as the weird compliment it was.

“I will,” she promised, then repaid April by not trying to hug or touch her. Jeff swore he imagined April’s lips moving up again, but shook it off to see the much less unsettling sight of Ron.

Annie stood up straight in front of Ron and stated, “Mr. Swanson. I look forward to crushing your horrible, misguided beliefs in the years to come. In an honorable way.”

“As do I,” Ron replied, before the two shared a hearty handshake. Jeff was amazed that Annie didn’t flinch at his grip, but then she backed off to leave him and Ron alone.

“What could have been, huh?” Jeff joked, not knowing how this might go.

“You are hereby forgiven for your trespass against common decency,” Ron announced. “But when the forces of miniature horse heaven get their revenge in the next life, I cannot promise I’ll speak on your behalf.”

“Um…..thanks, that’ll help me prepare,” Jeff said, humoring him.

“You would think it would,” Ron grumbled, so Jeff eagerly moved on – until he saw the next one in line was Chris.

“Well, this is it. Time to send you back into the real world, Jeff Winger,” Chris said, holding back a tear.

“Guess so,” Jeff replied, at a loss. “You’ll have to run 10 miles a day, do crunches, smile and maintain your hair without me. But I know you can do it. I sure know I can.”

“Your faith in me is literally the greatest affirmation of my life. I’ll cherish it throughout the centuries. I promise,” Chris squeaked out, then hugged Jeff and almost made him think he could pick him up. Fortunately, he merely brought Annie over and hugged them both at once.

“Our two interns, heading off together in love,” Chris declared. “Perfectly legal love,” he finished, before Ann mercifully nudged him to let go. He headed off to recover while Jeff and Annie caught their breath.

“If that’s all, then good bye, Ann,” Ann told Annie. When that sunk in for Annie, Ann corrected, “Sorry, couldn’t resist. Really wish I could have. But that’s what happens when you’re best friends with Leslie.” After a pause, she added, “I’m glad you got to find that out.”

“Me too,” Annie got out, finally needing to hold back tears. Before she heard too much of Leslie holding them back, she asked Ann, “You keep health care humming along without me, okay?” and hugged her when she nodded her agreement.

When the two Anns broke and Jeff said goodbye – without kissing her hand or cheek, he hoped Annie noticed – there were just two people left to say farewell to.

Jeff and Annie took the easy part on first, as Annie went to face Ben and Jeff went over to Leslie.

“I guess Pawnee survived my poisonous views after all,” Jeff broke the ice with Leslie.

“I should have known it was too strong for the likes of you,” Leslie noted, after wiping her eyes. “A lot of things are too strong for even you to break. Just keep that in mind and make sure they stay strong, okay?”

“You have my word, Councilwoman,” Jeff promised.

“Good to know, Counselor,” Leslie approved.

Meanwhile, Annie told Ben, “Don’t say cal-cu-later, okay? Wrong demographic.”

“I knew that from the purple cardigan, don’t worry,” Ben noted. “But you’re no numbers robot, anyway. The world needs you and more Annie Edisons like you for more than that. Almost as much as it needs more Leslie Knopes.”

“Almost?” Annie questioned.

“You know how big it is for me to put you that high. Executive Khaleesi,” Ben got all Game of Thrones on her, which moved Annie to her core.

“I sure do,” Annie smiled, wishing she knew anything about Game of Thrones for the first time in her life. But she settled for just hugging Ben as a thank you.

However, she still had to whisper, “If I hear you hurt Leslie….I’ll remove your spine with my teeth, shove it back in you through your nose and mouth, and pull it back out through your brain. At least 10 times.”

“You make her cry, and your decapitated head will be crying its nose, lips, eyes, tongue, skin and brain off for a long, long time. Okay?” Leslie whispered cheerily to Jeff as she finished hugging him.

After Jeff and Ben were released, they went to each other and didn’t need to say a word – they got what happened right away. When the shock value wore off and they took in what the other’s girlfriend said – and what their significant others probably said – it made them both creeped out and almost proud.

It was a weird, but almost exhilarating feeling the two of them knew all too well. As they related to that with a look, they began to chuckle over it. And as they realized again that they wouldn’t have it any other way with these women, they shook hands and silently congratulated the other for their good fortune. It covered as a blanket thank you for their own connection too.

Now there was only one goodbye left. The big one.

And of course, neither Annie nor Leslie wanted to be the one to start it.

Annie tried to think of the good times instead of the sad goodbye, although that was likely to make it worse. In fact, it made it worse enough for her to realize, “I didn’t do enough.”

“What’s that? Feel free to explain. Doesn’t matter if it takes two minutes or four hours, really,” Leslie tried to say nonchalantly.

“You….you did so much for me. You went above and beyond for me. And I barely did any of that for you,” Annie got out. “It’s usually the other way around with me. At least most of the time,” she remembered to remember, giving Jeff a look.

“It wasn’t like that this time?” Leslie made sure. When Annie nodded, she replied, “Then I got more than enough.” She steadied herself and added, “I know you don’t have a quote-unquote ‘real’ family. But I’d like you to think you have two now.”

Annie had both a thousand things to say and nothing to say. Even Jeff felt somewhat funny at Leslie’s last statement. Yet once Annie’s tears welled up, she settled on saying nothing.

However, when she went over to hug Leslie, and she immediately embraced her back, Annie let out a small, “Thank you.”

Although they could both give bone crunching hugs – moreso than anyone else with their small height – and although they were crushing each other right now, they didn’t feel it. They canceled each other out, as the physical pain was at least barely noticeable.

“You text me the second you get home,” Leslie demanded. “Text before you get on the plane, too. Hell, call and take the $2.95 a minute hit if you have to!”

Annie just nodded, despite how Leslie couldn’t see her do it. She reveled in her friend and former boss’s affections and care one last time, in case it was the last time.

Once upon a time, Annie dreamed that when she went off to an Ivy League school, both her parents would hug her, barely be able to let go, and send her off into the world with immense pride.

After years of broken dreams, it finally felt like she was getting that right now. Like someone who’d actually helped her make sense of the world and herself was actually letting her go, to let her put all she learned into practice. And with full confidence she’d be a good learner.

This left aside how Annie didn’t know if Leslie was the mom or big sister here. And how Leslie had only known Annie for a month, not 18 years. Otherwise, this feeling and metaphor was too wonderful to spoil with logic.

Sadly, it only really worked if Annie actually left. Leslie and Pawnee may have been a second family and home – but the first ones still needed her.

Annie tried to inch out of the hug, but Leslie still held on tight. She even tried to back up towards the airport door, but she and Leslie were still clutched together. Finally, Ben and Ann came over and got Leslie’s attention, which made her let Annie go.

Leslie looked pretty embarrassed, but Annie understood too well to make her apologize. She merely nodded, then began to head for the door. When Jeff and the group joined her, they took their last look at Pawnee, it’s Sweetums’ factory altered smog, and the people who were immune to it after breathing it in for years.

Troy, Abed, Dean Pelton, Britta and Pierce went inside, then Jeff followed after an awkward wave goodbye. Annie stayed a second longer, yet when Leslie made herself smile and gestured her head towards the airport, she knew it was time to go.

When Annie got inside the airport and turned her back, Jeff came up to her and asked, “You okay?”

Annie stored away her last memories of the Parks and Recreation department, and its former leader, and decided, “I’m getting there,” taking his hand in thanks.

“Good, now can we please gossip about you two bearding it up now? Naturally blonde Britta’s voodoo powers can’t get us in here, right?” Pierce asked.

“Why take chances with voodoo, right Pierce?” Jeff needled.

“Good point. You are teaching us your voodoo fighting secrets before you graduate, that’s an order!” Pierce demanded.

Oh, right. There was still that little matter to deal with. And no way around it anymore now that Jeff had that one pesky credit – which Chris signed away with one last oh-so perfect signature.

Even when Pierce wasn’t trying to torment Jeff, he did it anyway.

At least some things wouldn’t change for sure after next week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie return to Greendale in time for Jeff's graduation, which Jeff once again threatens to sabotage - until Annie comes up with a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the final chapter, yet it went on so long, I decided to save the last bit after this section for a separate epilogue. This now next-to-last chapter is completely Community based and reenacts the S4 finale "Advanced Introduction To Finality" but with a few of my own wrinkles to it.

When Jeff returned with Annie and Britta’s drinks, Britta asked the one question on both their minds. 

“All right, so why are we both here at the….I mean….that street place?” she barely got out. But Britta only promised she’d try to call the Red Door L Street to honor Jeff’s graduation’s tomorrow – not that she’d succeed.

“First off, somehow Annie found free time from planning my graduation. That doesn’t bode well for quality, though,” Jeff warned.

“That’s right, say that now. Even if the Dean’s probably ruining the alter – stage! – without me,” Annie tried to sound confident before taking a sip of scotch. She endured the burning, remembering she was saving her apple-tini for her second drink, for Jeff’s sake.

“Well, if you want us to play some strip apple-tini game, forget it. LS is as far as we’re gonna go for you tonight!” Britta declared, to everyone’s regret.

“And yet I wouldn’t have made it through this final year without you. That says enough to make me increase my tab,” Jeff stated.

“But not enough to make you hung over, right? There are some special arrangements some people shouldn’t clean vomit from tomorrow,” Annie hinted.

“And yet you found time to get me through this year too. Even vomit free, apple-tinis be dammed,” Jeff commented.

“Is this going someplace constructive?” Britta checked.

“Just about,” Jeff informed. “I know I have to thank the whole group at my party. But….I wouldn’t have got through these last four months without you two, specifically. So, we’re cheering to that tonight,” he offered.

Annie awwed and Britta gave her aww equivalent as the three clinked their glasses. “Yep, it’s on you that I made it to graduation. Even if the party is really too big.”

“Oh, there we go. You’re getting cold feet about graduating,” Britta figured out.

Annie grit her teeth, knowing this wouldn’t be the first time. But Jeff still claimed he’d been looking forward to this since freshman registration, bragging about that new big time job – the one he hadn’t bragged about to her once.

“Everyone loves you, Jeff. Some in vastly different degrees,” Britta slipped in. “But we all want you to graduate.”

“What about Abed?” Jeff asked. “I mean, the stress of my leaving might send him spiraling.”

That wasn’t the first card Annie thought Jeff would play. But while she was reflecting on that, Britta actually answered the question and defended Abed – via her therapizing, of course. Yet when she mentioned Abed’s dark timeline, Annie realized she made a huge mistake in letting Britta talk.

“You’re right, Britta,” Jeff said in that all too familiar scheming tone. “I’ve just gotta give Abed a chance.” Before Annie could object, Jeff thought ahead and said, “Well, I think you’ve suffered long enough. I’ll get….your other drink now.”

Annie was flattered for just a half-second, which gave Jeff time to get up and escape an interrogation. So Annie gave one to Britta instead.

“You know Jeff’s gonna use Abed to get out of graduating, right?” Annie asked. “I don’t know how he’ll make sense of that dark timeline to do it. But he’s gonna try.”

“Oh come on, he’s not gonna go that crazy,” Britta dismissed. “I just gave more credit to Jeff’s sanity than you did. If there’s a dark timeline, we’re in it already, so…..”

“He tanked History class! On purpose!” Annie whispered harshly. “At least he thinks he did. Now he’s gonna make Abed go crazy and tank graduating again. Even after I bought the right veil for the human being!”

“And after I cured Jeff and Abed?! No way, my two success stories aren’t killing each other! Not until I get my PhD and get scandal proof!” Britta declared. “You’re his girlfriend now, go Disney eye him and I’ll get the rope!”

“The….no, leave it,” Annie dismissed for her own good. “This goes beyond Disney eyes. He’s so afraid he’s gonna lose everything, even now. It’s like part of him wants to be in a dark timeline. And you just gave him a reason to make one, you…..” she lost patience with Britta, until getting a spark and finishing…. “you genius!”

“Well, we skipped the unpleasant steps to that part, so thanks?” Britta wondered.

“Talking to him won’t do any good here. So we’ll have to do things more like you,” Annie told Britta. “And Abed too. And everyone!”

“If we’re doing things like me, shouldn’t I know what’s going on?” Britta pointed out.

“Not now, he finally said apple-tini!” Annie noted, seeing Jeff grimace as he spoke to the bartender. “I’ll need to think the rest out while you two keep talking. If I get a plan out of this, can I count on your help?”

“I thought you were his big hero now,” Britta said. “Not that it’s the best job. It kind of grows on you, though. As sickening as that is.”

“I know, I know. But he told you himself. He couldn’t have got this far without both of us. Hell, without all of us!” Annie admitted. “I know I’ll have to bail him out most of the time. If all goes well. But right now, I need you.”

Britta took her time to respond, but came up with, “It should offend me that we’re finally teaming up, just to bail out Jeff. Or any man.” Before Annie could protest, she added, “I mean, it should.”

That was as strong an endorsement Britta could give before Jeff returned, grimacing until he handed over Annie’s apple-tini. Yet Jeff looked okay afterwards, if too suspiciously so. Annie figured he was planning out a big scheme in his head while they talked too, just like she was.

But after they parted ways, Annie figured she had the edge. For one thing, she actually had her whole scheme planned and double checked by then. For another, she actually turned to someone else to review it with – i.e. Britta. For a third, she also reviewed it with Abed, Troy, Shirley and Pierce before the night was out.

Annie sacrificed her triple and quadruple checks over Jeff’s graduation ceremony to get this done, so he hoped he appreciated this when it was over. Then again, that might not be their biggest issue in a few hours.

However, after triple and quadruple checking the plan with the group at the study table the next morning, Annie conceded she’d done all she could. Jeff wasn’t there yet, as expected, so Annie decided to kill time – and her own nerves – by debating what class the six of them should take next.

Of course, saying the six of them didn’t make things easier at first. But Annie held back her emotions – getting practice for when she’d have to do it later.

When they ultimately decided on Astronomy class, Jeff finally arrived, setting everything into motion.

Annie didn’t know how Jeff was going to offer rolling a die. Offering to help Annie with party planning by getting soda was a nice touch, though. He probably thought it would flatter her enough so she wouldn’t suspect anything.

But when Jeff took out his die and offered to roll it to see who’d get the soda, he fell right into their own trap.

Abed’s eyes widened, as Jeff probably figured they would. Yet instead of spiraling into a darkest timeline inspired mental breakdown, as Jeff planned, Abed did something else – just as he, Annie and the group agreed.

“Hold on, Jeff. I think we can go without soda for a while,” Abed offered, right on script without giving the slightest clue that it was a script.

“Abed, we need that soda for the party now! Do you even want this wed-uation to be perfect?” Annie pretended to protest, for Jeff’s behalf – despite the real risk this brought to the party.

“It will be perfect, because we’re already in the brightest timeline,” Abed stated. “We could have gone dark so many times before this grand, but not as grand as MASH yet finale. But we’re all here and all together instead. It makes you wonder what could have been.”

“Why, yes it does, doesn’t it?” Jeff furthered, still thinking this was going to plan and he’d be needed to save the day soon enough – for today and beyond.

“But we’re better equipped to face that darkness and win now. That’s why I think we should honor that by playing a game,” Abed said, as Annie instructed. “We do what we did when we played Dungeons and Dragons, and when I got therapized for Christmas. I say we use our imaginations to imagine and act out life in the darkest timeline, and see how good prevails.”

Before Jeff could properly figure out how this screwed over his plan, Abed turned to him and said, “And I think you should be darkest timeline master, Jeff. Since this is your big day and all.”

“What?” Annie acted out her objection before Jeff could make a real one. “Abed, Jeff doesn’t want to do that today. Besides, you haven’t brought up the darkest timeline in months, right Britta? Is there something wrong with this?”

“In my therapist’s opinion….no,” Britta declared on cue. “In fact, a psych major only dreams of a breakthrough like this! It’d just be a dick move to stand in his way.”

“So I guess we’re in the dark timeline already. And you did it without the master’s permission. Guess that breaks the rules and ends the game then,” Jeff weaseled out, now that it was clear Abed wasn’t going to break down for him. Now came the hard part of making Jeff play anyway.

“No, the rules are simpler than that,” Abed pretended to just figure out now. “As game master, you’ll not only play evil Jeff, but evil everyone else too. You act out how your worst self would treat us, and how our worst selves would follow suit, and we’ll play the good versions who aim to ultimately triumph. Of course, you’ll also play a good Jeff as well.”

“And what, pray tell, does he do?” Jeff scoffed.

“Whatever you think he can do. The game and everything that comes out of it is up to you. And we’ll just play along for the ride, wherever it takes us,” Abed said.

“Well….if we’re all playing, it might not be a waste of time,” Annie pretended to come around. “Heck, it might be fun to face our evil selves.”

“For you, maybe,” Jeff muttered. “Look, this sounds insane, and not the good insane I was going for today. So I’ll go get the soda and –“

“Jeffrey, this is the last thing we’re all gonna do together as Greendale students. You’re not gonna take that away from us today, are you?” Shirley mommy guilted him at full force.

“If I don’t occupy my stomach with something other than soda burps, you’ll all be sorry! You want that on your nose, Jeff?” Troy laid down.

“Come on, play the stupid game I’m barely in, already!” Pierce nearly said too much. But by then, Jeff was too cornered.

Annie knew Jeff wasn’t too happy with this. And she knew letting him indulge in his worst fantasies about an evil future – and probably his worst fantasies about them – might be painful for both of them. Hell, there wasn’t any doubt they would be, knowing his divided brain.

But airing this all out now, instead of running from change and hiding behind fear and other people’s breakdowns, was a better alternative for Jeff. And doing it in the guise of a Christmas/Dungeons and Dragons like game, where everyone could help him face his demons, would make it easier.

Annie told herself that made it okay for the last 12 hours. After one more review, she was ready to go. And with no way out, Jeff sighed and seemed ready as possible too. “Fine. If this is what you want, let’s do it to get to the sodas,” Jeff resigned.

“Good. Now everyone close their eyes,” Abed stated, and everyone did so. “I’ll start off to wean Jeff in. We are now in a world where he tosses the die, and it doesn’t land on a number. Abed is somewhat unnerved, but is composed enough to get the soda before someone drinks it.”

“Must I bear this cross forever?! Says Troy?!” Troy said.

“I was hoping for more,” Jeff commented with his eyes closed.

“But as the rest of the group heads off, it does. The darkest timeline is now ready to invade. Jeff, take it from there,” Abed declared.

Annie kept her eyes closed, resisting the urge to look at Jeff. She tried to immerse herself in this game, like they did twice within two months just two years ago. It was better than having second thoughts about creating this “game” to begin with – and about possibly giving Jeff the same mental breakdown he wanted to give Abed.

Not that he actually told Annie this was his plan. Not that anyone did – although the die was a dead giveaway. But Annie didn’t know that when she made this up.

Was she making up a crisis just to be Jeff’s big hero and be needed, like he wanted to do? But she didn’t want to do it to avoid moving forward! Or was she trying to avoid growing up and moving forward in her own way – like a child again?

But before she went down that road, she heard Jeff say. “Fine. We’ll start in the Dean’s office. He’s singing ‘Dean, Dean Dean Dean, Dean Dean,’ which he said in his best Dean voice. “But he’s so distracted, he doesn’t see a naked God of a man appearing behind him. Except this man has one teeny tiny flaw behind all that muscled greatness. Only one chiseled arm.”

Annie smiled to herself, and tried to contain any other reactions, as she imagined the sight of one-armed, naked, evil Jeff popping up in the Dean’s office. When she stopped blushing – which thankfully no one else could see – she kept her imagination focused as Jeff kept narrating evil Jeff’s arrival.

And then he got to evil Annie’s arrival.

Annie assured herself that at least evil Annie sounded sexy – intentionally so, for once in an Annie’s life. Of course, the words Jeff said in evil Annie’s voice weren’t sexy – not just because he had a very inaccurate Annie voice.

She told herself Jeff was being deliberately overboard, in having evil Annie love being talked down like a child. She told herself that he designed it to be so over the top, real Annie wouldn’t see anything strange or revealing. Of course, they probably both knew that wouldn’t happen.

Yet as Jeff indulged in this dark, probably years in the making fantasy, it was easy for him to get lost in it. Even when he had evil Jeff target good Annie first.

Once he set up that scene, real and good Annie spoke up. “Jeff! It’s bad luck to see the graduation before the graduation!” she said, while imagining herself planning the ceremony as evil Jeff appeared.

This would be the first ‘scene’ anyone acted alongside Jeff playing an evil part, so Annie had to set an example. So when Jeff, as evil Jeff, said the cheesiest lines to prove he was “hot for Annie” Annie acted confused and skeptical, which she imagined was perfectly in character.

And when Jeff had evil Jeff say the cruelest things to cut good Annie down, Annie stayed in character then too. Somehow.

Real Annie kept her eyes closed, willing herself not to break and question just how cruel Jeff’s evil fantasies were. And whether he really thought he would do this to her in real life. And whether she really thought that.

But Annie made herself remember Pawnee, remember the smallest park, and remember the advice of Leslie and Ben. It helped her get calm again by the time she heard Jeff say, as himself “Annie….we really should-“

“No! We’re not stopping!” Annie responded as herself. “Keep going, you’re doing fine.”

“We both know….” Jeff started again and was stopped again.

“I don’t know what evil Jeff does after he drives Annie away. Tell us that, please,” Annie said, keeping her tears from escaping her closed eyes.

After a while, Jeff relented and had evil Jeff verbally tear apart everyone else, as part of his evil plan. Although it was difficult for the others not to break character – and remember that Jeff only thought those cruel things deep, deep deep down where it meant nothing – they stayed angry at him without breaking the rules of the game.

When Jeff finally set up a scene with his good self, Annie jumped in and narrated her good self yelling at good Jeff. She figured it would spurn good, real Jeff to have the two reconcile and take down the evil timeline – and yelling at him after those words wasn’t a bad bonus.

Yet Jeff had his good self run after her and find evil Annie instead. Good, real Annie was a little worried now, especially when Jeff narrated evil Annie taking his phone.

She had a right to be worried, as Jeff was losing himself in fantasy again. He was already dreaming up a scene where evil Annie lured good Jeff to the study room, took off a trench coat, showed either nothing or very little at all underneath it, and completed her mission.

After the all too slow pace real Annie and Jeff were on, he was entitled to a little fantasy action. He was entitled to a lot of things. A lot of things he could get if he just brushed aside some other things. Like the old him would – like he would. 

What was really stopping him? Why couldn’t this fantasy be a reality? So what if he made real good people cry?

“You make her cry, and your decapitated head will be crying its nose, lips, eyes, tongue, skin and brain off for a long, long time. Okay?”

Remembering Leslie Knope’s final words to him sure wasn’t okay. He wasn’t even sure why he remembered those words. But when the grisly threat returned to his memory, it made him remember some other things.

And regret some more recent things.

Jeff wanted to leave then and there, but he suspected he wouldn’t be allowed. He was starting to suspect a bunch of things about this. Yet that was better than thinking about the darkness, guilt and conflicting thoughts in his brain – some less recent than others.

He couldn’t deal with that right now, and he couldn’t stop playing either. So to compromise, he set up a scene that didn’t have any Jeff’s in it.

He instructed that Abed headed to evil Abed’s apartment, after evil Jeff put him in the dark timeline. And while Abed jumped in to play himself, Jeff started adapting the voice of evil Abed, since he was every evil character. However, this wouldn’t be like the other evil characters.

Annie and everyone else listened as Jeff put on his best Abed voice, playing a no longer evil evil Abed. In fact, before Jeff or anyone else knew it, he had “evil” Abed explain that he’d given up evil to brighten up his timeline – and explained that evil Jeff was consumed with darkening it. Consumed with eliminating all the good around him after he became a lawyer again, since he thought it had to be done.

Jeff wasn’t thinking as he unknowingly revealed these dark thoughts and fears. He certainly wasn’t thinking when he cut to the next scene, where he played Jeff, evil Annie in a hot red dress, AND evil Jeff. If he thought even one second about all this, he might break down himself – so he just kept talking and acting.

As a result, he had good Jeff reject being a lawyer again for the sake of his study group, Chang take a paintball bullet for him, and the rest of the evil counterparts arriving as good Jeff escaped. Jeff then had himself find his good friends, who joined in and all acted as themselves, vowing to help Jeff take their evil selves down.

Jeff didn’t create any scenes where they talked about what evil Jeff said to them. Or to Annie. But that would bring this down in so many ways. Now that he had the good study group united to fight evil, he didn’t want to ruin it by analyzing anything.

In fact, as he played everyone’s evil selves facing their good selves in a super paintball war, it was starting to get kind of fun. He certainly liked the part where evil Pierce got tricked into shooting himself. And as the group kept having themselves take down all of Jeff’s worst fantasies of what they might become – and kept doing it on good Jeff’s behalf – he felt another strange feeling.

Then came the inevitable scene where evil Annie and good Annie squared off. Without thinking, Jeff spoke in evil Annie’s voice, “You’ll love the darkest timeline. We’re sleeping with Jeff there.”

Good Annie then narrated herself coming out and asking, “We are?”

“All the time. And he loves it,” Jeff spoke as evil Annie. He really didn’t want to go into why that came out, and what it implicated about evil Jeff. Real Annie kind of didn’t either.

In fact, she did such a good job, she narrated, “And then good Annie dives out of the sandwich shop, shooting evil Annie point blank in her b face! She dissolves and disappears on the spot! And then good Annie says, ‘No one sleeps with Jeff. Not even me.’” And then she added, “Not yet.”

Before both of them could think about that, Abed narrated that all the evil characters were dead, save for evil Jeff. Jeff then narrated himself hiding behind a couch, and had evil Abed there with him.

“Only evil Jeff is standing. You’ve gotta take him out,” Jeff said as evil Abed.

“Well, why don’t I just give him what he wants?” Jeff asked as himself. There was only so much his brain could take, and so many long buried emotions he could face in fantasy land. In any land.

But before he could break the fantasy, he suddenly found himself blurting as evil Abed, “You can’t give up now!”

“Why not?” he asked evil Abed and himself, as himself.

“Because it’s not real!” he admitted in evil Abed’s voice.

Annie and everyone else held their breath, and somehow held their tongues, as they heard Jeff debate himself – using his own words and his own truth as evil Abed.

“Look around Jeff? Haven’t you noticed the vending machines are full of meats and hard boiled eggs?” Jeff’s evil Abed asked. “Or that all the background students are attractive women?” he continued as Annie listened and tried to ignore that.

“This is a world you’ve created in your own mind,” Jeff told himself as evil Abed – and finally admitted to himself. “The real battle is within. You’re afraid to graduate because you think Greendale has changed you too much. So a part of you wants evil Jeff to win because you can go backwards, and pretend you were the same guy you were four years ago. But you’re not!”

Annie had hoped Jeff would realize that by playing this game. But she never pictured it like this. She never imagined him saying as evil Abed, “You’re stronger. You’re better. You have friends. No, screw that. You have a family!”

Annie bit back an “Awww” and she almost thought she heard Shirley, Britta and even Abed do the same. Then she heard Jeff say as himself, “Wait. If this is in my mind, then I don’t have to fight him.”

It wasn’t shocking that he’d try weaseling out one more time. But he earned some leeway after evil Abed’s words. Still, Annie started preparing to give him one last inspiring pep talk.

Instead, she heard real Abed say, “Then good Abed comes in and slaps good Jeff back to his senses. He adds, ‘Don’t logic this one away from me. We finally figured out a way to make paintball cool again.’”

After a pause, Annie heard Jeff say, “Cool cool cool” as evil Abed. Then she immersed herself back into fantasy world, as she pictured Jeff coming out and yell “Hey, handsome!” to his evil, soon to be defeated self.

As Jeff described it, a Matrix style bullet freeze stopped evil Jeff’s shot in its tracks, before good Jeff blasted him into nothing. Then Jeff described himself taking evil Jeff’s frozen paintball in his hand, as it turned into a die – and then the darkest timeline turned back to the bright one again.

“Game over!” she heard – and then for the first time in 22 minutes, real Annie and all the real people around the study table opened their eyes.

Annie exchanged all kinds of awed, confused looks with everyone else, before braving herself to look at Jeff. He was staring at his real die in his real hand, then looked back at the group.

None of them knew what Jeff would say or do next, especially Annie. Even Britta didn’t have a psych analysis to offer. After everything Jeff confessed – out loud to everyone as another Abed, at that – there was no telling how he’d laugh it off or dismiss it. Or even address it.

In the end, Jeff looked long and hard, then said as himself, “On second thought? Who needs to roll a die? And who cares if we have soda? As long as you guys are with me, I have everything I need to graduate.”

“Yeah. Forget soda,” Troy capitalized on. But other than that, nothing was said as a follow up. Despite their most chaotic, revealing fantasy game yet, Jeff, Annie and everyone else didn’t say another word about it.

In a way, Jeff was still being dismissive – although he had every right to ask questions about how Abed got the idea. But he went to the graduation ceremony without delay, and without fear, so it all evened out. And the Dean even got the stage wrong in a way Annie could kind of live with.

Still, some things stayed on track, like the Dean going overboard while marrying off Jeff and the Human Being. Jeff stopped him in his tracks on cue before he went R-rated, ready to give a customary Winger speech – his last one as a student.

But unlike in all those others, Jeff didn’t have any heroic swagger. He didn’t have any pre-planned words to save the day or sum up the week’s lesson. For a brief moment, he was at a loss.

How could he not be, when he’d never faced this before? Faced the aftermath of doing something without taking the easy way out? Faced it with other people by his side? People who saw the absolute worst of him – people who just saw how profoundly screwed up he really was today – and were still here, all smiling at him?

He spent so long holding his worst impulses back, he couldn’t help but let them loose today – even if it was during a fantasy game. And yet after all “evil Jeff” told them, they didn’t go anywhere. Even when he had a sappy epiphany while talking to himself, they didn’t leave.

What’s more, she didn’t leave.

But Jeff could get to her later. Which he certainly would. This moment was about more than her.

“Three and a half years ago, when I came to Greendale, I met six very important people,” Jeff settled on starting. Once Dean Pelton made him correct it to seven, he continued, “And meeting these people changed my life.”

Yet that was it. No Winger speeches, catch phrases or meaningless buzz words passed through his lips. There was nothing. After today, after everything, after Greendale and Pawnee – what was there?

“I’m sorry. I….I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. He ignored the disbelieving laughs from the crowd, since he didn’t believe it himself.

But Jeff had said things he didn’t plan to say all day. Some were painful, some were too private, some needed an apology or explanation later, and some….were just hidden for way too long. When he turned his brain and natural impulses off, so much flew out of him – and some of it really wasn’t bad.

It happened at the smallest park, and it happened at the end of today’s game. And look what happened.

For them – for everyone – Jeff made himself say what he really felt. If only for one last time as a student.

“I’m so used to being the guy who can talk his way out of everything. But…..what do you say when you don’t want a way out?” He began looking at everyone individually, telling Troy and Abed, “What you have all done for me is indescribable.” To Britta and Shirley, he added, “It’s unbelievable.”

And when everything else disappeared once he saw Annie, he admitted, “And my love for you is immeasurable.” Just in case, he qualified, “Even when you split it seven ways.”

Naturally, Pierce finally barged in to steal his thunder and graduate himself. At least it distracted everyone from the “love” line – and from noticing Jeff’s gaze was on Annie when he said it. But he could work out if that was more disappointing than relieving later.

Jeff didn’t have a moment to himself for any of that until a few hours later. By then, he’d had his final study room hangout, planned out a post-graduation dinner that wasn’t for one, and endured everyone changing the location to Senor Kevin’s. When he relented, he let everyone work the rest out while he went to clean out his locker.

After that task was done with a surprising lack of paper cuts, Jeff realized he was all alone. After he graduated. After he didn’t sabotage himself. After everyone else made him share too much and stick around. And now it was all over.

He’d really done it. Graduated, got his life back, and so much more. More than he even realized before today.

As it completely sunk in, Jeff grabbed his locker to keep himself standing. He vaguely heard footsteps behind him, but he shook it off. It was harder to shake off Annie’s voice asking, “Jeff?” behind her, though.

Yet he couldn’t turn around and face her. Facing her alone and in person meant facing everything she learned about ‘evil Annie.’ The evil Annie she was destined to be with Jeff – supposedly. Still, learning that he thought she’d become…..that deranged child was bound to be enough trouble.

“Jeff? We’re waiting for you,” Annie brought up. As if that was really what she wanted to talk about. But he’d really faced his limits of facing awful truths – or truths of any kind. So he just kept still.

“Come on, you like Senor Kevin’s! We can go to Morty’s anytime, okay?” she still insisted. When even that didn’t get an answer, she asked, “Jeff? This is really about loyalty to Morty’s….right?”

No it wasn’t. However, Jeff wanted a few more moments before she stopped pretending for the public, and started rejecting him. Like she was supposed to.

“Oh God, I broke him,” Annie muttered. Even that barely covered it. 

“Okay, okay, it was all my idea, not Abed’s!” Jeff was surprised to hear next. “I knew you’d do dark timeline stuff to wreck Abed and get out of graduating! So I….did it to you first. I mean, Britta and Abed and the others helped me set it up, but under my orders! I didn’t know it’d turn out like….that, but I set it up anyway!” she confessed, as Jeff’s body language stiffened up for new reasons.

“I did it so you’d face your fears, like you did today! But I guess I went too far. So you can stop pretending you liked being that sappy and vulnerable for everyone. All because of me. I told myself I wouldn’t push you or change you, but I was only trying….” Jeff heard Annie squeak her familiar guilty squeak, then she concluded, “It doesn’t matter. I clearly put you through your personal hell, and I’m so sorry.”

Jeff didn’t know if he wanted to turn around and hug her, or turn and yell at her. So he stayed put to hear more evidence – if Annie was up for it. She sounded too sad and almost weepy, but she continued on.

“I didn’t want to be like your evil Annie! I just wanted to help you see what I knew all along! But I was devious, manipulative, and some sick puppet master kid! It doesn’t matter that you were gonna do it first, I was….” Annie couldn’t make herself finish – but Jeff could.

“You were still you,” he began to realize.

Apparently Jeff had room for more big truths after all. But he was in a virtual trance in the fantasy and in that speech. He was more fully aware of himself now, for what might be the biggest lesson of all. One many years in the making.

“You beat me at my own game, even before I played it,” Jeff started. “You made me do so many things I usually hate. That’s pure evil to me….but you weren’t really evil. You were still you,” he repeated.

He turned around, now on enough of a roll to face Annie. Face Annie as clearly as he ever had.

“Even an evil you was selfless, inspiring and trying to help me. You used evil for good. Even my kind of evil,” it came to Jeff. “Even if I turned you that way, you’re still….you’re still the Annie I know and….and….”

Yes she was. And maybe no matter what, she always would be. It finally had to be right in front of him before he saw it. In at least two worlds.

But for the first time, he saw an Annie he couldn’t possibly ruin. Or create an evil like….what his mind created today. And he saw an Annie that wouldn’t leave and save herself – or ruin him anew in the process.

Evil Annie, good Annie – all of it was an Annie he…..

Jeff lunged and kissed her in order to hold that thought. Out loud. For now.

Yet the old fear of being too aggressive for her took hold, so he slowed the kiss down. But even that wasn’t bad. Hell, it was the slowest kissing they’d ever done. It even bordered on that….r-o-m-a-n-t-i-c word.

And it still felt perfect.

When their fifth slow kiss broke and Annie caught her breath, she looked at Jeff in awe. But in a different way than usual.

As over the line as she probably was, he still kissed her. He still thanked her. He still didn’t seem to regret saying he loved…..all of them immeasurably. For all the uncomfortable things he went through because of her today – and every other day – he still looked happy. Loving. Accepting.

Okay with her no matter what she was. Or what she’d done.

Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing to be after all.

More than that, he looked…..ready. And for the first time, so did Annie.

No more taking it slow, no more fear of the future, no more feeling ashamed of feelings. Leslie took a long time to get there, but she never looked back when she did – and neither would Annie anymore.

Of course, they’d need a long talk about the layers of that evil Annie fantasy. But after tonight.

“Okay then. Screw it,” she said out loud.

“Screw what? This?” Jeff asked, with a hint of sudden panic. Annie nearly giggled and almost let him squirm, just like he did.

However, the time for games was over today – and for many days, hopefully.

“I mean screw it. Let’s do this thing for real.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to close out chap 13 and the story. But the last chapter went on too long, so I gave this final scene its own chapter to end the story. To those who got this far anyway, thank you.

One month later

10 seconds after waking up, Annie snuggled under Jeff’s precious bed covers, savoring how they felt against her naked body. She then snuggled up to Jeff’s sleeping naked body, savoring how that felt before he could wake up and protest against cuddling.

All of this was a long time coming – and not just because of the last few years.

This should have happened on graduation night, but the group had to drag dinner at Senor Kevin’s out way too long. Yet even she figured the Dean would stop at seven crying jags and three costume changes.

It should have happened after their first official date at Greendale. But the first law firm Jeff applied to just had to call and reject him that night.

It could have happened in the weeks after that, but the rejections kept coming. Then Jeff just had to take it out on her, then Annie just had to throw the dark timeline/evil Jeff stuff in his face. That was an unpleasant few days, but at least they wound up addressing some things they brushed aside on graduation.

Afterwards, Annie figured out exactly how it had to happen. It gave her just enough time to prepare before Jeff finally got a new job after all. By then, she was ready to ask Jeff out to celebrate – and had already picked out her attire.

Her dress might not have been an exact replica of evil Annie’s. However, it was red and tight and showed off as much in reality as evil Annie did in fantasy. And the message of a good Annie being this intentionally sexy – and ready to show Jeff now that there were finally no more distractions – quickly sank in.

Hours and many unspeakable acts later, here they were in their first “morning after.”

This was bound to be weird for Jeff, since this wouldn’t be his usual morning after. At least it’d better not be if he wanted a second one with Annie. Nevertheless, she trusted Jeff not to kick her out, or mind having her stay over. But she didn’t need to test him now.

It would help if she knew what time it was, though.

Annie lightly kissed Jeff’s forearm, then gently rolled over to the right of his bed. She put her cell phone on the table before the action started last night, precisely for this reason – after turning it off, of course.

But when she turned it back on, the time wasn’t what got her attention.

At that point, Jeff finally opened his eyes. He’d been awake for a few minutes, content to quietly savor Annie cuddling against him – without having to admit out loud he liked it.

But as he saw her naked back in front of him, he started thinking that two-way bedroom cuddling might be worth a try. It might earn him serious boyfriend points in and out of the bedroom, if nothing else. Even thinking the words “boyfriend points” didn’t make Jeff flinch once – so what difference did it make to like cuddling now?

Yet as far gone as Jeff was now, he still hated a few things. Like Annie suddenly screaming in his bed, without him even touching her.

Maybe she was squealing in joy over finally nailing him. That not only made complete sense, it fit right in with a few old fantasies.

“They’re married!” Okay, that fit in more with a few old nightmares from years back. At least, nightmares according to old Jeff.

Wait, she said “They’re” not “We’re.” Sex and cuddling clearly made Jeff miss a few things.

“What?” Jeff asked, adding extra grogginess to his voice, to sell that he’d only been awake for 10 seconds.

“They’re married!” Annie repeated, loud enough to keep Jeff from ogling her as she turned around. Well, almost. “Leslie and Ben! They got married!”

“What?” Jeff asked with legitimate confusion.

Annie showed him her cell phone, which now showed a picture sent to her earlier this morning. It had Leslie and Ben in front of Leslie’s favorite wildflower mural, with the two of them holding up wedding rings and a caption below reading, “Mr. and Mrs Leslie Knope.”

“Hold on, weren’t they supposed to do that in May?” Jeff wondered.

“I guess not!” Annie cheered. “I’m still going through the texts I missed from everyone! There’s stuff about emergency response drills, visions of Lil Sebastian, stink bombs, Tom being a minister, and Jamm getting punched in the face!” After another pause, she called out, “And they’re actually married! Right now!”

“So….we don’t have to fly there in May after all? Well, that saves us a few hundred bucks,” Jeff reasoned.

“Nice try,” Annie deadpanned, then got giddy again and bounced out of bed. “I can’t believe it! I should call them right now! No, no, they’re on their honeymoon, that’d be rude! Reception probably wouldn’t work in Hawaii anyway. But if they’re in Washington….no, she’d have it off touring the White House by now. Picking out curtains and everything.”

Jeff was amazed that the most self-conscious person he knew was babbling like this while naked. Of course, other sights were amazing him right now, like they did last night. Apparently while Leslie and Ben were….

“Wait a minute. We consummated our relationship on their wedding night?!” it dawned on Jeff. When Annie took that in, she squealed and giggled anew.

“That is so perfect! I can’t wait to tell them! No, wait, on their honeymoon, right. Maybe I’ll tell Ann! She’s probably heard worse! But maybe none of them held their liquor last night. I know I wouldn’t,” Annie kept rambling, but managed to put her clothes on in the meantime, to Jeff’s dismay. At least until she got the dress back on.

“I’ll send texts! Nothing wrong with doing that while they’re sleeping it off! They just proved it to me!” Annie pridefully said, then headed out of the bedroom to construct her texts.

Of all the things Jeff imagined Annie doing the morning after their first time – or the things he pretended not to imagine years ago – this wasn’t it. He should have been offended that she was squealing over two other people and not him this morning. Even clinging to him like a love sick girl would have been better – or at least it would be now.

Then again, the two people she was squealing over did make much of last night possible. Not the hand and tongue stuff – that would have been too weird on too many levels. But the stuff that led to those hands and tongues getting over themselves to get into bed….yeah, that was on Mr. and Mrs. Knope.

Resigned to that and Annie not coming back to bed, Jeff got himself up and dressed. He left the bedroom to see Annie glued to her phone, Winger style, as she tried to craft texts to the Pawnee gang. As for Jeff, he actually left his phone in the living room – or wherever he dropped it when he saw Annie swaying into his bedroom.

When he picked it up and turned it on, he saw a flood of text messages and pictures from Pawnee, just like Annie got. In fact, he could now see the exact picture Annie got from Leslie and Ben on his phone as well.

It wasn’t surprising that these people thought enough about Annie, even during Leslie and Ben’s early wedding, to remember to tell her everything. After all, she inspired that kind of loyalty and thoughtfulness – even if others were too dumb to use it all the time. But for them to show him that too….

Jeff just got a new job, set a few new records in bed, and hadn’t had to step foot in a Greendale classroom in a month. And yet this truly showed him how on top of the world he really was.

Even if Ben and Leslie were hogging up space on there too.

In spite of that, he started typing on his phone as well. Although Annie had more consideration than to bother them on their honeymoon – barely – Jeff still wasn’t that good yet.

For Ben, he typed the message, “Good going, Wyatt. No flirting with other people at the hotel bar. Jeff.”

For Leslie, he thought a while longer before he typed the winning phrase.

“You deserve this. Congrats on getting this one right. Jeff.”

Jeff finished with time to spare to make Annie coffee, as she kept editing her messages to Ann, Andy and Donna. Eventually, she’d remember Jeff was there and remember what they did last night. But at this moment, they looked more like a settled in their ways, years long, m-word couple, instead of one that only had sex last night.

Having it that morning – after Annie finished writing – made Jeff stop worrying, however.

And eventually, Jeff did cough up the money for a return trip to Pawnee after Annie graduated. Of course, when it was announced a week earlier that Leslie would face a recall vote that fall, it took everything Jeff had to keep Annie from getting an earlier flight – graduation be damned.

Whether he had enough to get them home before summer ended….would be much trickier.

THE END


End file.
